Fairness

Speak truthfully but maybe not that truthfully. I don't recall what prompted this conversation but I think my reply derailed it. 

WHAT this is the last comic before the best month???? Yay September! 

Text:
M: Well, to be fair -
L: Why would we be fair?

Hide and Seek Champion

 

They seek him here... and there... but apparently not right where he is. This is a pimpernel flower, which is the nom de plume of Sir Percy in "The Scarlet Pimpernel." There's a rhyme used in the movie adaptation (recited by Sir Percy of course) which starts: "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere." I enjoyed drawing this flower. Also inspired by this rhyme, a while ago I did a painting of some French bulldogs not looking at a pimpernel flower: 

Text:
Title: Hide-and-Seek Champion
*Image of a pimpernel flower*

Dozers

 

Ah yes, a dozer - one who is in a doze. I'm remembering a joke about a doctor saying he will deliver the baby and the parents responding that they want the baby to keep his liver. 

Explanation: A dozer is technically a bulldozer which is a type of heavy machinery. But if you break up the words to "bull" and "dozer" then you get a different idea.

Text:
Title: Wordle (or any word game, really)
M: "Dozer" - what kind of word is that?!?
L: It's a type of bull.

Breakfast Negotiations 2

 

Is my child a Swifty? Nope, just a lover of middle eastern fruit. There is so much potential miscommunication from this simple fruit. 

Explanation: A date is a rather sweet fruit but can also be a romantic outing so clearly parents are against their kids having those.

Text:
Title: Breakfast Negotiations
R: I wanna date!
L: You've had too many already.

Breakfast Negotiations 1

 

My older toddler likes dates, while my younger toddler prefers raisins (this might be influenced by me, a mom who doesn't feel like chopping up dried fruit when there's perfectly bite-sized ones available). But seriously, dates are packed with sweetness and my kid does not need to start her day with that - granted I'm fine with her having an apple or banana with her breakfast so that might just be hypocritical of me. 

Explanation: A date is a rather sweet fruit but can also be a romantic outing so clearly parents are against their kids having those.

Text:
Title: Breakfast Negotiations
R: I wanna date!
L: It's too early for dates. 

Mountain Moved

Maybe it was previously a molehill? 

"He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”" - Matthew 17:20

Text:
Image: a mountain with "Matt. 17:20" up the side
A: I thought that was elsewhere yesterday.

Chocolate Sprinkle Bagel

 

True Story, there's a shop called Horseman Bagels in Sleepy Hollow, NY, (super tasty bagels!) and you can guess what their logo is (in case you can't, it's the headless horseman holding a bagel instead of a pumpkin). I redirected Robin to a rainbow bagel which she loved so yay no meltdown! Also, I feel like Bagelheads and Horseman Bagel (which I keep thinking of as "Headless Bagel") are opposites and I just realized when I looked them up that Bagelheads is only in Pensacola, which happens to be where I went to school but I didn't realize they're a totally local shop. So that's neat. 

Text:
L: We're getting bagels for breakfast.
R: I want a chocolate one with sprinkles.
L: ... that would not be a bagel. 

Vegetable Musicians

I have not thought up any songs this group would sing, but I'm sure there's plenty of puns to choose from. I don't feel like looking up the difference between chives, scallions, and spring onions but I feel like they're used interchangeably. 

Explanation: Chives and scallions are similar vegetables. A rapscallion is a mischievous person. I didn't realize no spelling change was needed for the band name pun. Also, with a letter swap, a "mischiveous" vegetable is a spring onion up to no good. 

Text:
B: You chives are making horrible music!
RS: We're the RapScallions. 

Wonton Destruction

 

This comic was spawned by me misspeaking a phrase. Whoops. The real phrase is "wanton destruction." A tasty treat from a Chinese restaurant's menu is wontons. You can see how these could merge to make this comic. Also, he's not pictured but the toddler mentioned is my Oriole (I feel like Robin has far more comics but then again she's older). 

Text:
N: Your toddler devoured his Chinese food quite messily.
M: Yeah, it was an act of wonton destruction. 

Trophy Husband

 

Guys this is a real mug (that I did not purchase) from Hobby Lobby and the description is: "Make sure your husband knows he makes you feel like a winner! Trophy Husband Mug is a classically shaped, blue ceramic mug with the phrase "Trophy Husband" in white lettering on the front. Gift it to him and give him a wink when he drinks from it in the morning!"

Text:
A: Why do you have a "Trophy Husband" mug??
B: My wife says I win all the awards at work. 

Siblings and Shoes

 

This is not quite a true story but it was inspired by my husband saying I should wear shoes I didn't mind getting dirty for a trip to maybe a festival or market of some sort. If you have siblings, let me know how it goes if you try this one. 

Text:
Title: Siblings
A: Why are you wearing my shoes?!?!
L: You said to wear shoes that I didn't mind getting dirty. 

Discus Dinner Plans

 

How are the Olympics nearly over? How do they fit so many competitions into the time a family can spends at Disney World? 

So this one time in college I competed in discus and shot put (my school had a one day event with all the classic Olympic athletics like running and jump things). I did not do well because those are in fact real sports and I did not have a clue as to how to toss them about. But I did get a quick refresher from some nice competitors who actually knew what they were doing. 

Explanation: To "discuss" is to converse about a thing. To "discus" is to do the sport of discus, which is where you throw basically a stone frisbee as far as you can.

Text:
A: Can you come to dinner on Tuesday?
B: I need to throw an oblate spheroid weight with my husband first.
A: ... what?
B: We will discus then get back to you.

Canoodle

 

Congrats to my little brother getting married today!
I just really want to watch this get pitched on Shark Tank. I believe in it. I haven't done any of the science but surely it could be done. 

Explanation: A small thin boat is a canoe. If you made one out of pool noodles, you could mash the names together and get canoodle. Which is a word for something that is not a pool noodle boat. 

Text:
S: We used the material in pool noodles to make a small thin boat - it's a canoodle! 
I: *facepalm* 

Eleven out of Ten

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! Wow it's been a while. You're an eleven, unless that will cause issues then you're a ten. A ten plus. Oh no, the stack is overflowing with my love for you!

Explanation: In computer programing, if you try to access something that is not in the set (i.e. if your set is 1-10 and you try to reach 11), then you get an error because that does not compute. But when you're complementing someone, you can say they exceed the scale given and it's a good thing. 

Text:
R: On a scale of one to ten, you're an eleven 💗💗
J: Out of bounds error?