A Lot For Christmas

 

Hey, I have a sketch for this one! Is that a church bulletin? I will neither confirm nor deny.

Text:
M: I don't want a lot for Christmas -
W: Then you don't want me because I've been told that I'm a lot.

No Bones About It

 

It's amazing what random facts kids will internalize. 

Text:
O: bloh bloh bloh I'm octopus!
L: Oh, you have lots of arms.
O: bloh bloh bloh I have no bones.
L: ... Yep, that too.

DOTA2 Zeus in Stereo

 

I feel the mythological Zeus would just throw a lightning bolt at you if he received any criticism, so this is real growth for him here. I believe he says this phrase in game when you direct him to a place on the map. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Zeus
T: Zeus, hold the mic further away - you're overpowering the chorus.
Z: Sound advice!

DOTA2 Zeus the Technician

 

Another catchphrase from DOTA2, this time from Zeus. Enchantress, as a faun/dryad, clearly would question why someone would join an electricity company.
Back when I was in college, our pastor told us about how he wanted to officiate his friend's wedding but didn't know if he could so he called up his dad (also a pastor) and asked "Do I have THE POWER?" much to his dad's confusion. He explained THE POWER meaning the part at the end of the wedding ceremony when the pastor declares "by the power vested in me I pronounce you man and wife." And now his overly energetic inflection of THE POWER goes through my head sometimes when power is mention.

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Zeus
E: You accepted the job at the electricity company?
Z: A position of power!

Adorable Kid Boy

 

I mean, you can be all of those things and also adorable. And he definitely is.

Text:
L: Are you being adorable?
O: No, I'm Ori and a kid and a boy. 

DOTA2 Kunkka on Laundry

 

Happy Birthday to my SEEEEEEEESTER!
So many comics come from sitting next to my husband while he plays his games. I have no desire to play a battle royal with all the people trying to get me, but I like hearing (some of) the character's catchphrases and coming up with comics slightly out of character to use said phrases. 

Explanation: Tide is a brand of laundry detergent. Kunkka is an admiral in the navy and has many phrases about the sea levels and conditions.

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Kunkka
SS: I put too much detergent in, and how the laundry room is filling with bubbles!
K: Rising Tide. 

DOTA2 Necrophos in Winter

 

In the game DOTA2, this character has many rather visceral phrases but when he says "raging contagion" I always think of toddlers toddling along with all their germs. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Necrophos
N: Raging contagion!
A: *sneeze*
O: *sniffle*

Panda Bears of Jesus

 

Toddlers (and some adults) have a tendency to substitute words they know for words they don't. It can be kinda hilarious. As a side note, I have been enjoying watching Saddleback Kid's Stories of the Bible on YouTube - it's very Biblically accurate while engaging yet not being overstimulating. 

Explanation: Parables. The word he was looking for was Parables. Not panda bears. A parable is "a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, as told by Jesus in the Gospels" per Oxford Languages. 

Text:
O: Let's watch that Bible story!
L: Do you know what it is?
O: Panda Bears of Jesus!
L: Ah yes, Jesus was always talking panda bears with the people. 

Prince of Cinderella

 

I'm thankful my parents did not give me 11 middle names. That would be a bit excessive, but if you look up the names of royals then you will see this is an actual thing with at least European royalty. 
This is inspired by the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical version of Cinderella. We watched it with my kids because it's very low peril - no evil cat (which is the scary part for my little ones). And the 1965 version is honestly delightful. A very chill movie for your viewing pleasure. 
Explanation: In the musical, there is a song titled "The Prince is Giving a Ball" (you should watch it on YouTube to get a feel for the movie) and the prince's full name is given. His parents also have similarly lengthy names. It's a royal thing. In most adaptations of Cinderella, her prince is known as Prince Charming. 

Text:
E: My name is Ella, but my stepfamily calls me Cinderella.
CRWVCAFRLHGJ: My name is Christopher Rupert Windermere Vladimir Carl Alexander François Reginald Lancelot Herman Gregory James, but people call me Charming. 

One Lick No Thanks

 

My two-year-old's personality is really coming out and he's quite the comedian. In a toddler way. And he had to try his hardest to force his licked hand into my mouth. Every time I wiped his hand dry, he sucked on it again to refresh the lick. While giggling. This is why parents are constantly sick, in case you were wondering. The kiddos want to share their saliva. 

Text:
O: *sucking on hand*
O: You want some?
L: No. *sigh* What is it?
O: It's lick!

Give Me Five Cold Germs

True story - toddlers really don't know social etiquette or basic hygiene. 

Text:
D: Good job - give me five! Wait - not the hand that was just up your nose; use the other hand. OK!

Slang Connection

 

I've done a few of these slang posts, but slang keeps changing so I have to keep making more. 

Old posts: 2018 2020 2021 2021b

Explanation: Drip coffee is a thing (when you make it in a pot) that is not not Keurig coffee (when you make it from a little cup thing that gets water poured through it). Something being drip is apparently a good thing per the current slang? 

Text:
A: How do we connect with the youths?
B: Say "this coffee be drip."
A: ... but it's Keurig?

Thanks for Trick or Treating

 

A little late but that's how it goes - I think up a comic, remember to jot down the comic, digitally draw the comic, and eventually get around to posting the comic. I thought about saving this one for next Halloween, but hopefully my kids will be speaking nice and clearly by then. Writing how my kids say things can be difficult. But also can be easy when they actually speak clearly. 

Text:
A: How was trick or treating?
M: I reminded my kids to say "thank you" nice and clearly.
A: And did they?
M: Well, they said "tank oo knife an' cwearwhee!" 

Pattern Following

I feel like this with some cooking recipes as well. I think once you're familiar enough with a skill, you can tweak as you go rather than making the whole thing and trying out changes on the second go-around. 

NOTE: if you do this and it doesn't work out, absolutely do not complain in the comments on said recipe/pattern. Your failure was most likely due to your changes. Follow the directions exactly if you want to see if a pattern/recipe works. 

Text:
Title: Crochet
M: Have you done that pattern before?
L: Nope.
M: So you're going to follow it, right?
L: Also no.

Toddler Back Pain

 

You are telling me what is going on while not telling me what is going on. I now want to use his explanation whenever I have an injury: "my knee hurts because it feels like ow." Also my toddler says "because" with such emphasis like he's about to explain some great truth but then he says a two-year-old thing like yep that's what he is. 

Text:
O: my back hurts.
L: Aw, buddy. Why does your back hurt?
O: BECAUSE it feels like ow. 

Hisnia

 

It was a confusing conversation that spawned this comic. It is funny but also rather frustrating when people see the letters that make a pronoun in a word and change it to their preferred pronoun as if every instance of his/him/her/she in a word is a direct link to a pronoun. Also it took me a minute to remember the male form of her, like him? he? wait use it in a sentence "her bag" would be "his bag" ok I got it. 

Explanation: "Hernia" is a medical condition that also contains the letter group "her" which is a female pronoun. But I just realized "do you see her/him" works as well as "that is her/his bag" so really it could be a himnia. That sounds like a condition related to church songs (hymns). 

Text:
D: You have a hernia.
M: No, I'm a guy. It must be a hisnia. 

Another Tall Order

 

Last month I made some short-order / tall-order comics and here's another for that segment.

Explanation: A tall order is a complicated or difficult thing. A giraffe is tall. Giving the giraffe toy to my son is not difficult, but it is pun-worthy (as most things are). 

Text:
O: I want the giraffe!
L: That's a tall order.
O: *confusion*

Potato Chip Cooking Methods

 

This one came to me when my brother was eating a bag of hand cooked potato chips. Please note in my comic the names of the chips - I am proud of the branding.

Text:
A: I sell hand cooked potato chips. *holding po-tay-to chip bag*
B: Well I sell foot cooked potato chips. *holding po-tah-to chip bag*
A: ew.

Shopping on Target

 

The joys of parenting in the potty training phase. No, this is not a true story - I would not do that to my daughter (and really it would be to myself as the one who would be on cleanup). The true part of the story is where my son sees things in the store and calls out their names so I say "we have that at home" and move on. He now says it back to me (while laughing) when I mention what's on the list and I have to say, "no, we don't have it at home and that is why we're at the story, my dude." 

Text:
L: We are only going to get what we need as we shop.
O: Goldfish!
L: No, we have Goldfish at home.
R: Potty!!!
L: We have potties at home!

Hearsay

 

Happy Birthday to my grandmother! We look forward to our next visit up to see you.
Check your sources, people. This is a true story and indeed, his guess was incorrect. My library gives out hand or book stamps at the end of most story times (there's a booklet to track how many classes you've been to but my kids prefer to get their hand stamped). I don't remember why I drew this as a sticker rather than a hand stamp - maybe it was clearer this way. 

Text:
E: Come get a sticker!
O: Maybe it's purple
R: I heard it's purple.
L: Did you hear it from his guess?
R: Yes.

Stuff the Duvet

And a bonus version:

Stuffing a duvet into the duvet cover is an act of love. Unless you do it wrong, then it's an act of annoyance. There are many tips and tricks with how to get it all in there flatly, but I wish you the best of luck if you need to tackle the task. 

Explanation: During the summer, a duvet cover can be used on your bed without any filling. It's like a top sheet or thin comforter in that state. But as the weather gets colder, you need more warmth and can fill the duvet cover with a duvet of your preferred thickness. 

Text:
L: Speaking of laundry, if the duvet cover isn't warm enough for you - you can stuff it.
Bonus:
M: I feel targeted. I guess I could do that.
L: If you want it done right, I can do it.

Bubble Blaster Weed Whacker

 

We are nearing the end of both bubble blasting season and yardwork season, so I needed to get this one out before it got stale. I could have just saved it for next summer, but that would mean planning very far ahead. Finding time to draw comics is difficult, but I do enjoy drawing when I can get around to it. I think up a lot of comics that live in text form on my phone, but getting to sit down and draw them out takes more time than just jotting down the text. Finding balance is hard with anything, even enjoyable hobbies.

A bubble blaster is like a battery powered water gun, but it blows bubbles rather than squirts water. It is a way for young kids to blow bubbles without spilling the solution. While using traditional bubbles is great for coordination and such, sometimes you want the easy win rather than a learning experience. 

Text:
R: What is that noise?
L: Sounds like our neighbor is using a weed whacker.
R: Or it could be a bubble blaster?
L: Unlikely.
R: Maybe?

What Else Did God Make

We have been teaching our kids the First Catechisms (there's 150 in there and while I disagree with 133/134, the rest are sound theology and also we have only tackled the first like 10). There are songs to go along with them - Ask Me Whooo. I've only heard the first two albums (available on Spotify and YouTubeMusic) so like the first 100 catechisms set to song and they are a catchy way to learn some sound theology. Provided your kid actually sings along instead of making his own version and overpowering the chorus. Yes, God did indeed make the trees and flowers but ALSO so much more - all things, to be exact.

Links here:
First Catechism: https://opc.org/cce/FirstCatechism.html 

Ask Me Whooo: http://askmewhooo.com/home.html

Text:
Song and Mom: What else did God make? Whaaat else did God make?
Song and daughter: God made all things, all things, all things! God made all things, aaaaaall thiiiiings.
Son over song: Trees and flowers!

Be Grass

 

Sometimes your kids just say what they mean, and while it still comes out of left field - it is nice to know what they're going for. And this is a true story, transcribed how it happened (even down to the blue mug I was sipping my tea from). My kids were asking me to be a bunch of things, mainly animals so I would just make a sound between my sips of delightful Earl Grey. But then there's this. 

Text:
O: Can you be grass?!?
L: How??
R: You lay down on the ground, and we walk all over you.
L: Hard pass.

Be a Horsie

 

Someday my kids will appreciate my humor. Or at least groan respectably at it, like some of my nieces do. I know I'm hilarious, and that's what matters. 

Explanations: Horses say "neigh." "Nay" mean no. Yay, a pun! Toddlers don't seem to acknowledge those.

Text:
O: Can you be a horsie?
L: Nay.

Sea Eagle

 

We went to the beach in October and it was actually nice because no sunburns and also no crowds. As shown in this comic, toddlers can act like poor speech-to-text software with just assuming similar words are your words. He was super excited to see the birds, whatever they were. And we did not feed the beach birds - what goes in then goes up and comes down. 

Text:
L: Look - a seagull!
O: WOW! Eagle!
L: No, a sea gull.
O: Oh! Sea Eagle!

Weightlifting: Parenthood Edition

Happy early Birthday to my brother-in-law Dan! You can probably do both.

Yeah parenting is not for the weak. Deadlifts don't scratch and kick you while shrieking. Please note that my children are usually angels, but every child has overemotional times and WOW they are taxing on the whole household.

Explanation: A deadlift is a strength exercise where you lift a barbell, which does not move or scream at you. A livelift is something I just made up, and it's when you get exercised trying to move your child mid-meltdown. I'm sure there's an exorcism pun to be made there.

Text:
WL: I can deadlift 400 pounds of cold, hard iron!!! YEAH!!!
L: I can live lift 50 pounds of squirming, crying preschooler.
Ref: WINNER!

Indecisive

 

If you say someone is on the fence about something, what kind of fence do you picture? One of those natural wood, neighbor-dividing ones that Garfield the cat would caterwaul upon? Or a white picket fence that you'd have to balance daintily on? Some sort of wrought iron type? So many options.

Explanation: he's being indecisive about being called indecisive. That is a difficult word to spell.

Text:
A: Your family is know for being indecisive.
B: I'm not sure about that...

Tall Order Cook

I would love for this to happen in real life. You would probably lose your job but you would gain the admiration of all those in line. 

Explanation: A short-order cook has been explained in a previous comic (look back if you need to). A tall order is when something is going to be difficult or hard to accomplish. I do not want to be a tall-order cook.

Text:
P: I want *super complicated order*
S: We're gonna need the tall-order cook.

Parking Garage Meal

 

True Story - it was a stegosaurus. 

To be clear, we did not eat random food off the floor of a public garage. We do have standards. We also threw out the leftovers we forgot in the car overnight, because we care about our intestines and don't want to cause duress. 

Text:
Title: *Walking Through a Parking Garage*
L: ... Would you like a dino nugget?
M: With a side of that mac'n'cheese we left in the car overnight.
R: What obligation are you so desperate to get out of?!?!

Not Short Order Cook

This may have been inspired by a sign about being "short staffed" and someone complaining that they should hire taller people.

Explanation: A "short-order cook" is not referring to their size, it's referring to the time it takes to make meals (they make things that are quick like sandwiches or eggs apparently). 

Text:
A: Are you a short-order cook?
B: I'm a slightly-above-average-order cook. 

Time Not Well Spent

 

Happy belated Birthdays to my niece and nephew!
I feel this is in line with a comic I posted back in July about a lack of dedication. Did this one spawn after one too many times of lollygagging for a bit then when I sit down to actually do something then the children are no longer placid and totally need my attention to be on them instead of whatever I just started working on? Who can say.

Text:
M: How was your afternoon?
L: I wouldn't say I wasted the time, but I can't say it was well spent.

Shark Shutout

 

So we were driving along and saw a sign for all-you-can-eat sushi, which straight up does not sound like a great idea, but then my husband made it worse and this comic was spawned. I once had a coworker who would take the occasional gamble and have gas station sushi for lunch. He thought I was in the same boat one lunch but I gently corrected him with "no, this is from Wegmans." I don't gamble with seafood. 

Shark Tank is a show where people with ideas pitch said ideas to people with money and try to get their idea to happen. Not all ideas are good ideas.

Text:
A: Hello Sharks - my idea is simple yet attention-grabbing: All-You-Can-Eat Gas Station Sushi.
Sharks: Get out.

Pesto Bismol

 

Happy Birthday to my little brother!
Funky, fresh, and what else do you need when your tummy is rumbly? I think the Sharks are gonna say nope, but maybe they like the fresh take? Maybe they have indigestion and figure, why not?

Explanation: Pepto-Bismol is a medicine for indigestion and the like. Pesto is a sauce of crushed basil leaves, pine nuts, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil, typically served with pasta. Combine the two, and I'm truly not sure what would happen. 

Text:
A: I want to innovate medicine with fresh ingredients, so I present: Pesto-Bismol!
Shark1: *inquisitive*
Shark2: *face-palm*

Furniture Princess

 

There is a wooden bench in our church atrium and it's a solid, smooth bench however the legs are not even so it wobbles. It has no upholstery so it's not dated, but it is loud since the center legs are longer than the ones on either side. It's not an ideal situation, and yet it stays.

Explanation: The princess is Belle from Beauty and the Beast, a movie where the staff of a castle are turned into furniture and other objects in said castle. There's other plot points but that's the relevant one for this comic. 

Text:
D: Did we get rid of that old bench from the church lobby?
M: Nope, someone is sentimentally attached to it.
D: Nooooo, who has sentimental attachment to furniture?!?!
Belle: :( 

Jog for Life

Happy belated Birthday to my Grandpa!
A local pregnancy center had their 5k this past weekend, and there was a one mile walk as well as some kid races. We did the walk and my preschooler did a race (about the length of a kid soccer field). I realize that there's a Mandalorian reference here but I was not up for drawing a Mandalorian helmet. Maybe I'll do a bonus scene one day but it's unlikely. My toddler was happy to be held for the full mile walk and specifically wanted to be on my right side (I tried changing him to my left side and he scooted across my front to get back to the right) so needless to say, my right arm was super sore the next day. 

Text:
L: That lady brought her jogging stroller.
M: This is the Walk.
L: You can Walk for Life and/or Run for Life, but there is no Jog for Life.

Uno Domination

 

My preschooler has a few card games that she likes, and Moana Uno is at the top of the list. It is truly unfortunate how the cards end up sometimes. I believe if you're old enough to play, you're old enough to lose; however, losing all the time is not fun or encouraging so I play more at her level. But sometimes you just have a handful of action cards and you gotta play the cards you're dealt. 

Explanation: I was playing Uno with my kiddo and I had a handful of actions cards which she was on the receiving end of. Poor girl was picking up cards left and right. She still had a great attitude about it, which is what I'm trying to cultivate.

Text:
Title: Game Time
R: I don't know how I have so many cards.
L: Well, there have been a few +2's and +4's played....

Not Pretty Not Princesses

 

The life my art imitates:

I believe this toy is a Melissa & Doug one, which has passed through my cousin's house then my nieces' house and now is in my house. It's in good shape, too! The outfits are magnetic and stick to the characters, and there are lots of options to wear. And the girls are pretty - I'm not sure why Robin was being a contrarian that day (I think it's a sibling thing, purely to rile up her brother). 

Text:

O: Playing princesses?
R: They aren't princesses.
L: He thinks all the pretty girls are princesses.
R: They aren't pretty.

Searching for Little Grey Cells

 

I was introduced to Hercule Poirot by my in-laws. Not sure how I hadn't heard of him before, but then again I didn't know much about Agatha Christie other than she was a writer in the mystery genre. As for the unfinished comic, I could not decide who to put as the foil so I leave it up to your imagination. 

Explanation: Detective Poirot uses the phrase "little grey cells" for his brain. Instead of asking where someone's mind has wandered off to, you can use this phrase instead!

Text:
HP: Let us send out a search party for those little grey cells of yours.
X: <insert character here>

Rich Young Ruler: Luke vs Mark

In a Sunday School lesson, my teacher mentioned the passages about the rich young ruler. I came to the realization (it could be a translation thing) that only Luke calls him a ruler - Matthew and Mark just call him a person, like maybe they didn't know he was a ruler. So in my mind, Luke is aware of local politics but the others are not. I also gave him a name so it seems Luke really knows who he is.

Luke 18:18: "And a ruler asked him, 'Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"
Mark 10:17: "And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%2018%3A18ff&version=ESV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%2010%3A17-31&version=ESV

Text:
Title: Gospel Writers
M: Some guy is talking to Jesus. (Mark 10:17)
L: That's Octavius - I voted for him. (Luke 18:18)

Rich Young Ruler: Luke vs Matthew

 

In a Sunday School lesson, my teacher mentioned the passages about the rich young ruler. I came to the realization (it could be a translation thing) that only Luke calls him a ruler - Matthew and Mark just call him a person, like maybe they didn't know he was a ruler. So in my mind, Luke is aware of local politics but the others are not. 

Luke 18:18: "And a ruler asked him, 'Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"
Matthew 19:16: "And behold, a man came up to him, saying, 'Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?'"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%2018%3A18ff&version=ESV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019%3A16ff&version=ESV

Text:
Title: Gospel Writers
L: That is our rich young ruler. (Luke 18:18)
M: He's just some dude? (Matthew 19:16)

Kid Song Remix

 

Why not do a song mashup, but I do need them to know that they are doing a song mashup and that's not the way either song actually goes and also it's a weasel not a monkey that pops. Why? I don't know. It's just the way the ancient song goes.

Text:
R&O: Ring around the rosie, Pop goes the monkey, Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
L: Wait a minute...

Hard vs Soft Tasks

 

This was written in reference to getting my preschooler changed into her swimsuit. I'm trying to get her to do more tasks that she can do, but it's a struggle because it's hard for her and much quicker for me. But this is how we grow? Wet swimsuits are a struggle at any age.

Explanation: Hard and soft are opposites. We describe difficult situations as hard, but we don't usually describe easy situations as soft.

Text:
R: You do it.
L: Why?? It's hard.
R: I only do things that are soft.

House Rules

 

Happy early Birthday to my Mom!
The weird things you say as a parent. Why do we have to specify such things? Oh yes, it's because they are new to the world and don't realize social norms. If a toe can fit in a nostril, why not?

Text:
A: What surprising things have you legislated this week?
L: Do not put his toes up your nose.
A: Wow.
L: Do not grab your sister's tongue. Or anyone's tongue.
A: You can be too specific.

Summer Library Challenge

 

I did not read all of these but I did read one of them and I made a separate comic about it, which will be uploaded once I figure out how many comics I'll make in the summer reading booklet.
Explanation: All of the books mentioned were made into movies starring Matt Damon. My library does a summer reading challenge which is a booklet with about a dozen categories of books and five or so books in each category, and the goal is to read at least three books in different categories (don't have to be the ones listed, those are just samples) then you get a prize like a reusable bag or cup or notebook with the library logo on it. It's a nice way to expand your reading list and find some books that you might have overlooked otherwise.

Text:
A: Did you do the Library Summer Reading Challenge?
B: Yep! For sci-fi, I read The Martian. For spy/thriller, I read The Bourne Identity. And for voices of war, I read Saving Private Ryan.
A: Over-achiever.

Adorables

 

True Story. They are both adorable. Ori has been saying he's not adorable because that's not his name or the animal he's pretending to be. But it is super adorable to have an adorable kid say they're not adorable. 

Text:
M: Are you adorable?
O: No!
M: Your brother thinks he's not adorable!
R: But he is!

Egg Ordering

 

I look up how I want my eggs and the knowledge will. not. stay. I know scrambled is often ok, but what I really want is (let me look it up) eggs over medium. With no crispy wispy edges. It shouldn't be that hard to remember but when the server asks how I want my eggs, my mind goes blank and I'm like "uuuuuuuhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm scrambled." 

Text:
L: I know how I like my eggs, but I don't know how to say how I like my eggs.
M: Tis a struggle.