Rules of Parenthood

 

So true. So many oddly specific rules.

Text:
A: Is parenthood like you expected?
L: I expected to say "don't put your finger up your nose." I actually say "don't put your brother's toes up your nose." I then clarify "don't put your or other's toe(s) up your or other's nose."

Unexpected Red Rover

 

Happy 17 years to my husband! 💕
I don't recall the name the song as it was on a service-generated playlist, but I have not forgotten the song. Also thinking of "running into <someone's> arms" as Red Rover is quite context-changing. 

Explanation: Red Rover was a (terrible) game from my childhood where one team would link hands and call over a player from the other team, who would run at you full force and try to break through the line. 

Text:
Song: Come on and run into my arms
L: That's called clotheslining.
M: Unexpected Red Rover.

Means a Latte

 

True Story, the gas price fluctuated 50¢ between my last two fill-ups. Granted, the cheaper price was at a Buc-ee's so bulk discount and all that. But still, $5 is a latte. 

Explanation: "lot" and "latte" sound similar. $5 is an average price for a coffee (I assume, as I am a tea drinker). 

Text:
A: Why did you go to that gas station?
B: When getting ten gallons, it's $5 cheaper there. That might not seem like much, but it's actually a latte. *holding coffee*

Fat Singing Cows

 

Apparently "till the cows come home" is a phrase that means it'll take all day, while "till the fat lady sings" is a phrase that means the end of something. It alludes to an opera which ended with a powerful soprano number that required a well-built, large woman to sing it, hence it was over once the fat lady sang. So all that to say I think we both used these phrases correctly? 

Text:
M: When do the cows come home?
L: I think it's when the fat lady sings. 

Introversion from the Mouth of Babes

So we had a visiting family a few weeks ago at our church, and they had a kid around my youngest's age, and my kiddo did not extend the right hand of fellowship. He actually burst into tears when he saw a new kid in nursery and his buddy wasn't there. He did rally himself and parallel play with her there, but there was no friendship started that day. 

Text:
L: Did you meet a new friend in church nursery today?

O: No.

L: ...was there a new kid today?

O: Yes. :(

L: Oh, my little introvert.

O: *sobbing* NO MANNETTE!
L: I know, Buddy, Ma-Annette wasn't there today.

Special Mayo

 

I didn't know that my kid knew our pastor's name, since she usually refers to him as "Nathanael's dad" which is fair since she knows her friends more than their parents. Honestly, I never considered that the phrases "Pastor Cho" and "Trader Joe" have a similar cadence. (Her grandma has alpha-gal and the only mayo she knows is truly vegan is the TJ one.) The super confusing thing is that we had just had a church fellowship where the Chos brought a salad which contained mayo so I did have to think... but I realized what was going on before calling the Chos and asking for their mayo brand. 

Text:
R: You need to get Pastor Cho's mayo for the potato salad - it's the only one Grandma can have.
L: ... Trader Joe's mayo?
R: yes. 

Mr. Shark Time

 

So many variations of this game exist. I've heard it called Mr. Wolf or Mr. Fox as well. The name of the game is "What's the time, Mr. <insert animal>?" and play is simple (it shows up in at least one Bluey episode, "Shadowlands" and a Danny Go episode about Summer Time). One player has their back turned to everyone, everyone asks the question, the player gives a time, and everyone takes that many steps towards the player. At some point, the player answers "Dinner time!" and then it becomes a game of tag. 

Explanation: 24hr time is like 12hr time except it keeps counting up after noon, instead of resetting at one. Therefore twenty o'clock would be (20-12) 8pm. 

Text:
R: What time is it, Mr. Shark?
O: Twenty o'clock!
L: That's known as 8pm by many. 

Spring Disney

 

You never know when a Disney character could spring into a conversation. I have no clue how a spring Pluto feels, but probably happy? Pluto is a pretty happy character. As long as chipmunks aren't hiding in the Christmas tree.

Explanation: Daisy, Donald, and Pluto are all classic Disney characters. 

Text:
M: That was refreshing.
L: Are you feeling like a spring daisy? Or a spring Donald?
M: More like a spring Pluto.

Car Colors

There are so many shades of red with cars. I didn't have a way to work in Patriot Red (Mitsubishi) or Colorado Red (Jeep), but maybe someday.... 

Explanation: In the game DOTA2, the teams are called Radiant and Dire. Also there's something called  Ultra Kill (four kills in a short time window). 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
L: My Honda is Radiant Red.
DK: Not Dire Red?!
L: ... Tesla has ULTRA RED. 

Migraine Not Cure

 

Please do not attempt. So at my gym, there used to be two hot tubs but they changed one to be a cold plunge which is something I intend to do never. The tubs are next to each other and I had this idea. Ice and heat are recommended to alleviate migraines, but what part of your body gets which temperature? Everyone has an opinion about it. 

Text:
A: Did you know if you put your hands in the hot tub and feet in the cold plunge, you will either cure your migraine OR get kicked out of the gym?
B: ... what?
A: Yeah, the second option is way more likely. 

Sale Sale Sale

 

What do they call this where you're from? I kinda want to go to one and get a landscape painting for cheap and then paint a dinosaur into the picture and proudly hang it somewhere. 

Explanation: When you sell your old stuff on your property, it could be called a yard sale or a rummage sale or a garage sale. Possibly other names for it exist - please let me know if you know of any. 

Text:
M: There's a yard sale a few streets down from us.
L: Shall we go rummage about in someone's garage? 

Erranding

 

Some errands can be made in whatever vehicle is available. Others are not that flexible. I mean, I could make it work - but I've gone this long without filling a gas can and I'm not feeling the need to break my streak. And that just seems overly complicated when I can just take my car to the gas station. 

Text:
M: You can take my car for errands when I WFH (work from home), if you want to get used to how it drives.
L: Well, one of my errands is to get petrol in my car.
M: Ah, that would be difficult to do in my car. 

Overcooked Kitchen

 

So my spouse and I just finished playing Overcooked 2 and it was a journey. It was rather frustrating at times but overall very fun to play. You do need to be on the same wavelength and cooperate smoothly to get through it all. And there are a lot of bonus levels! The graphics are cute and the music is nice.

Explanation: in the game "Overcooked 2" (and also the original "Overcooked!"), you are set in a kitchen and have a bunch of orders to cook and fulfill. However, the kitchen is working against you in your endeavors. It's not how you would want a kitchen to be. But you do have specific tools on any given level, like a rotisserie cooker or massive wok, to cook the ingredients so you can assemble the final product. There are many points of failure, which do complicate things. 

Text:
M: We could get a rotisserie cooker for our kitchen.
L: And then! Sliding counters that move on an unknown timer! Conveyer belts that end in a trash can! Cutting boards totally unreachable from where you get ingredients!
M: No more "Overcooked!" for you!

Throwback Fourth

 Some patriotic ones from the archives:

Scrunchies

 

Bonus!

There is much to be said about 90's fashion. Much of it doesn't need to be said. HOWEVER my daughter has started using a scrunchie in her hair when she goes to bed and WOW her hair is so much tamer in the mornings. 

Text:
M: I have been told this is a scrunchie. They were very popular when your mom was a kid.
L: Had to hold back that perm somehow. 

Bonus:
L: Feels nicer than a banana clip.
M: How do those work?
L: I never learned.