Wonka and David

 

A new twist on the classic David and Goliath? Enter one giraffe milk macaroon. (But what if Goliath ate one? Find out on Thursday.)

Once again, this is from the song "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" in the movie Wonka (which does not contain any Bible character cameos - I was just thinking these up as I listened to the movie soundtrack on my way to Hershey Park for a fun Saturday). 

Text:
Title: 1 Samuel 17
W: 🎵 Goodbye to feeling small And frightened of it all Just eat a few of these and you'll be feeling ten feet tall. 🎵
D: I'm... just gonna trust God to use me and my sling stones. 

Wonka and Elisha

 

Counter-offer: behold my hair-repair eclair.

The movie Wonka has many catchy songs, and "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" is no exception. I could not help but think of a certain Bible character who called down two she-bears when taunted by a group of youths mocking the fact that he was bald. 

Text:
Title: 2 Kings 2
W: 🎵Lost your hair, Can't think where, feeling fairly bare up there...🎵
E: You... are getting all the mama bears.

Alphabet Aggressive

 

Someday he'll get it right, but for now it's cute and hilarious. 

Explanation: the actual song ends with "Now I know my a-b-c's, next time won't you sing with me?" rather than my kiddo's "next time you will sing with me." 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Alphabet Abbreviated

 

This is now how my toddler sings the alphabet song every time. My preschooler has tried getting him to "repeat after me" and go through the alphabet, but she doesn't have it down well enough for that. But they got further than the first phrase, so there's that. And got back on track when I prompted them. Also, he will sing it up to a letter that appears in his name, then just sing out how to spell his name instead (as in l-m-n-o-r-i-o-l-e). His actual name has five letters, which means it can be sung in the b-i-n-g-o song, which means the alphabet song transitions seamlessly into Bingo. 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Salty Lot

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandma and niece!

What is Lot embarrassed about? See the previous comics as we move through Genesis in my church's Sunday sermon series. In case you don't know what happened to Lot's wife, she was turned into a pillar of salt. We actually haven't gotten to that account yet, but I thought this up with one of the earlier comics and had to write it up early. 

Text:

L: That's it - I'm leaving and never coming back. You are so embarrassing. 

A: That's a bit harsh.

R: Yeah, Lot, don't be so salty.

In case you've forgotten - previously on Keeping Up With the Patriarchs: 

Mannette

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
My little dude, you are convinced of your friend's name just like your sister is convinced of her friend Faniel's name (it's actually Nathanael). But you seem to know the M is not really there. Someday you'll say their names correctly. Someday. 

Text:
Title: Annette
O: mmm-mmm-Mannette starts with A!
L: Yes, but also no. 

Age Disparity

 

The joke here is that my kids don't fully enunciate and miscommunications happen. And this is what I think of and how I respond now when one of them says they're full, as neither of them are four. 

Explanation: "Full" and "four" sound the same when you have a toddler's pronunciation. 

Text:
O: I'm full!
R: No you're not - you're three!

Body Builders

Happy Mother's Day! We are the ultimate body builders. 

Explanation: Body-building is a form of exercise to tone your body. Pregnancy could also be seen as body building, as you are literally building a new body. 

Text:
BB: Would you like to join a body-building program?
L: No thanks, I've already built two. *holding both of my kids' hands*

Alpha Gals

 

If you don't know what Alpha-gal is, consider yourself blessed. My mom-in-law has it, and it's quite limiting on what you can eat. It gives you an allergy to all mammal products - their meat, milk, hooves, etc. You don't realize how much you use mammal products until you try to make something without them.

Explanation: Lyme, CT, is where Lyme's Disease (commonly gained by a tick bite) got it's name. Another tick-bourn illness is alpha-gal. Unrelated, Alpha Males are dudes who want to be super manly men. 

Text:
Title: Somewhere in Lyme, CT
T1: Down with the patriarchy! No more Alpha Males!
T2: Only Alpha Gals here!
T3: Preach it, sister!

Linty Hair Brush

 

Yeah, toddlers don't always see things as they are. Mainly because they don't know how things are supposed to be. It can be eye-opening. 

Explanation: A lint brush is often a cylindrical shape with a handle and many layers of sticky paper over the cylinder. Don't put sticky paper in your hair. That is a bad plan. Just don't. 

Text:
O: Why you have a hairbrush?
M: That's a lint brush.
L: Don't use that on your hair.

Absolutely a Sith

 

I wasn't sure which version I liked better, so here's both.

Happy Birthday to my most amazing, my one and only, my husband of almost two decades. 

Happy May the Third! The day before May the Fourth. It's a Star Wars thing. Much like how this comic is a Star Wars thing. The Jedi are absolutely sure that only the Sith deal in absolutes. But for real, my preschooler is giving out way too many ultimatums, it's like a mattress store that is constantly having close-out everything-must-go sales. 

Side-note - we will be back to our regularly scheduled Abraham&Lot comics next week. Or actually the week after since next week is Mother's Day and I have a comic for that. It's not about Lot's kids' mom because that would be kinda wrong. 

First Version:
R: If you don't play this right now, you will never ever play it again!!!
O: Only a siff deals in absowutes!
Second Version:
R: If you don't play this right now, you will never ever play it again!!!
L: Only a sith deals in absolutes!

Millipede Legs

 

So I learned this fact when we went to a special class at our library, Zoo To You: Invertebrates. I should have known it would be all bugs, and large ones at that since they wanted you to be able to see them. So we saw an African Millipede which is quite large and apparently has an ever increasing number of legs. Lovely. Also there were hissing cockroaches and a massive hairy spider which I didn't not commit to memory. Zoo To You shows up at the library occasionally and I was remembering the Vertebrates class which had a parrot, a turtle, and a snake or two. There was also a tenrec at one of the classes. Maybe there was a Reptile class then a Vertebrate class. That could be. ANYWAYS only go to an Invertebrate event if you are good with large bugs. 

Text:
L: Millipedes get more legs as they grow older. Can you imagine getting more legs as you get older?
O: *full confidence* Yep. 

Not pictured: the lady next to us who nearly fell over laughing at Ori's fully confident answer.

Ages and Stages

 

Happy Belated Birthday to my Robin!
My Oriole, you go so many places. But not to Cubbies, Pre-K, or Kindergarten when you're two. Cubbies is the 3&4 year old group in Awana Clubs. It's always interesting to hear how a kid sees the world and explains things.

Text:
R: When you're 3, you go to Cubbies. When you're 4, you go to Pre-K. When you're 5, you go to Kindergarten.
O: I'm 2, so I'm not going anywhere.

Abrashem

 

The passage that just keeps on giving more comics. Look back at last Sunday for the others in this series. And I just realized that I didn't change the spelling of Abracadabra for this - maybe I could go with Abramcadabra. Unsure, might draw up an alternate version. 

Explanation: Noah's three sons are Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Abram getting his name changed to Abraham sort of adds the name of one of those sons to his name, so why not try all the versions. 

Text:
Title: Genesis 17
A: ACTUALLY I'm changing my name to Abraham.
R: Why not Abrashem? Abrajaphethm?
L: Abracadabra get me out of this embarrassment. 

Legumes Before Legrooms

 

I don't wish to look up if soy beans, vanilla beans, and/or coffee beans are legumes but you are free to do so. This comic was sparked by me looking up flights and thinking legumes sounds similar to leg rooms. If you move the space in "leg room" one spot to the left, then it looks like a French husband (Le Groom).   

Explanation: Southwest seats are quite snug and you don't get a lot of room for your legs. A soy vanilla latte could be considered a three-bean soup if you want to start a fight. Many beans are legumes, but not all.

Text:
A: And then I said "legumes before leg rooms!" and boarded my Southwest flight with my soy vanilla latte.
B: ... Not all beans are legumes.