Bug Workout

 

True Story, except it was like so: we walked across a park and when we came to a stop, a bug landed on my leg and I had to spaz a little bit to dislodge it and then my watch buzzed to say "you tracked a workout!" but it was referring to our little hike across the park, not the bug spaz. But I think the bug spaz should have counted as a HIIT session. 

Text:
M: I see you tracked a workout earlier today.
L: Yeah, a bug landed on my leg and would not get off.

Hand Biting Proverb

 

Someday, my children will see the wisdom of my words... as I'm just quoting proverbs from other wiser people. 

Explanation: "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" is a proverb meaning don't hurt the one that is giving you what you need, as that could discourage them from continuing to give you what you need. But self-harm is not usually what comes to mind with this proverb (unless you have a toddler, an uncoordinated one).

Text:
O: I bit my finger!!! *crying*
L: Buddy, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Minute Hours

 

I am yet again reminded that children are a blank slate when it comes to knowledge, and have to be taught concepts of time and such. I am fairly certain that my kids currently don't know how many minutes are in an hour, and therefore don't know that half an hour is 30 minutes. They are learning the concept of minutes from watching videos, like a Bluey episode is 8 minutes and a Danny Go song is about 4 minutes. And sometimes they get the whole "tomorrow we are doing something" but it seems everything in the past is "yesterday." Time is confusing anyways - I get why kids don't get it.

Text:
L: How far away did Dad say the hotel was, half an hour?
R: He said 35 hours.
L: Minutes, girl. 35 minutes. 

Dispense with the Water and Pleasantries

 

Dispense those pleasantries. So I thought this was just a common phrase, but upon a quick Google search it seems to be a quote from Star Wars? 

Jerjerrod: Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.

Vader: You may dispense with the pleasantries, commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.

—Return of the Jedi

So I learned something new today. 

Explanation: Water often comes from a dispenser, which means water can be dispensed. Darth Vader's quote about pleasantries references dispensing with them. I combined the two. 

Text:
L: Your water, much like the pleasantries, has been dispensed.
M: ?

All the Milk Cows

 

This is another throwback comic, from when Robin was a bit younger and didn't understand the rhyming part of the goodbye pairings. It should be "See you later, alligator! Take a bow, milk cow! Out the door, dinosaur! Wave goodbye, butterfly!" and so on. There's a whole song about them. But it still is cute how kids process things. 

Text:
R: See you later, milk cow! Take a bow, milk cow! Out the door, milk cow! Wave goodbye, milk cow!
L: The alligator, dinosaur, and butterfly feel left out, my girl. 

Yesterday's Pets

Pet stores are like the free zoo for kiddos. There was a pet store (Today's Pets) in a shopping strip near me where we would browse before getting groceries. It is now a sushi place and I just think that's ironic, since the pet store had a long wall covered in fish tanks. I wonder if they were able to repurpose any of the things from the previous occupants. I have not visited despite my curiosity and my desire to eat sushi. 

Text:
R: Can we go to the pet store?
L: That's not a pet store anymore. It's now ... oh, it's a sushi place. Hmmm.
Store sign: Today's Pets Kawa Sushi AYCE

No Snuggles Allowed

 

The mind of a child makes all sorts of connections that take me a minute to follow. Now that I think about it, my kids might think all sailors are pirates. We were watching Turning Pointe Ballet's Little Mermaid on YouTube, and my kids were calling Prince Eric's ship's captain the Pirate Captain. No amount of saying they are all sailors and that's just the captain could get them to realize that they were not pirates. 

Explanation: my kid hears "dictatorship" and thinks it's a type of boat (ship), and apparently only pirates are on boats. 

Text:
O: No snuggles allowed!
L: What kind of dictatorship is this?!?
O: ... We don't have a ship. We are not pirates. 

Counting

 

So in French, they count oddly. I don't know French, but I do know this. Actually I just looked it up (here) and they don't have specific numbers for 70 (“sixty-ten”), 80 (“four-twenties”), and 90 (“four-twenties-ten”)? So that's unique. But they do have a number for 30 (trente) however I think my comic's point still stands. Also this is an older comic that I took a while to draw - my kiddo knows how to count at least to one hundred so this is a throwback. 

Text:
L: 27, 28, 29 - what comes next?
R: Twenty-ten!
L: We are not French.

Rules of Parenthood Continued

 

You really start to understand lawyers when you're a parent and your kids are so very literal. I have had to refrain from snapping at my child when I realized he was technically doing what I said, just not in the way that I intended (the mind of a child is a bizarre place that does not understand figures of speech). The interaction that sparked this particular comic was my toddler trying to clean the sink with his toothbrush. When I told him not to use his toothbrush to clean the bathroom, he might have eyed his sister's toothbrush. But now that I think of it, my rule as listed in this comic does not prevent someone (Ori) from using someone else's (Robin's) toothbrush for bathroom cleaning. 

Text:
A: What new rules have arisen in your household this week?
L: We only brush our own teeth with our own toothbrush. 

Tootsie Rolls

 

The mind of a toddler is a wonderful place, full of new experiences and unfamiliar language idioms. 

Explanation: Would "tootsies" be toes, or toots (farts)? Neither is a good option. My kiddo calls toes "toesies" as in "I didn't want my toesies to touch the cold floor" and I think it's adorable. 

Text:
O: What is this?
L: A Tootsie Roll.
O: What is it's flavor?
M: Tootsies. 

Taco Dinner

 

Parenthood is a wild ride. Also, it's all about rebranding. Oh, you don't like chili? Well no worries, we are just having meaty beans. (credit to my friends Jen and Eric for that one) My little guy used to say he didn't like whatever was offered, no matter what it was or how much he actually liked it. He now accepts/requests items and then eats one bite, says it's good, and goes no further. 

Text:
L: We're having tacos for dinner.
O: I don't like tacos!
L: I'll give you a brand new bouncy house if you can tell me what a taco is.
O: ... a tickle ball?
L: Don't complain about food you actually like. 

Rules of Parenthood

 

So true. So many oddly specific rules.

Text:
A: Is parenthood like you expected?
L: I expected to say "don't put your finger up your nose." I actually say "don't put your brother's toes up your nose." I then clarify "don't put your or other's toe(s) up your or other's nose."

Unexpected Red Rover

 

Happy 17 years to my husband! 💕
I don't recall the name the song as it was on a service-generated playlist, but I have not forgotten the song. Also thinking of "running into <someone's> arms" as Red Rover is quite context-changing. 

Explanation: Red Rover was a (terrible) game from my childhood where one team would link hands and call over a player from the other team, who would run at you full force and try to break through the line. 

Text:
Song: Come on and run into my arms
L: That's called clotheslining.
M: Unexpected Red Rover.

Means a Latte

 

True Story, the gas price fluctuated 50¢ between my last two fill-ups. Granted, the cheaper price was at a Buc-ee's so bulk discount and all that. But still, $5 is a latte. 

Explanation: "lot" and "latte" sound similar. $5 is an average price for a coffee (I assume, as I am a tea drinker). 

Text:
A: Why did you go to that gas station?
B: When getting ten gallons, it's $5 cheaper there. That might not seem like much, but it's actually a latte. *holding coffee*

Fat Singing Cows

 

Apparently "till the cows come home" is a phrase that means it'll take all day, while "till the fat lady sings" is a phrase that means the end of something. It alludes to an opera which ended with a powerful soprano number that required a well-built, large woman to sing it, hence it was over once the fat lady sang. So all that to say I think we both used these phrases correctly? 

Text:
M: When do the cows come home?
L: I think it's when the fat lady sings.