Stars On Ice: Ilia

 

We had a wonderful time at Stars On Ice, and there was one performer (Jason Brown) who did an amazing "You Ain't Never Had A Friend Like Me" routine that involved many jump-splits, and my child really liked that move and wanted other performers to do it. Namely, he was calling out his request when Ilia Malinin, who's famously the only person to land a quad Axel and also one of the first to add backflips to his routines one that was allowed again, was doing his routine (which involved his famous moves, which are not jump splits). 

Text:
O: Do a jump split!!!
L: Ilia is known for several impressive moves, and that is not one of them.

Stars On Ice: Isabeau

 

I introduced my kids to famous ice skaters via books from the library before the Winter Olympics this year so they would enjoy watching the events with me. I mispronounced Isabeau's name (it's Isa-bo, not Isa-boo) and didn't realize this until hearing her name announced, so my child's question/heckle actually rhymed when she said it. 

My kids were super into watching the stars while they were on ice. I did look up the skaters and watch YouTube clips of their performances ahead of time, so they were prepared. Also, I like watching figure skating. It's pretty amazing what people can do. 

Side-note, I posted a thing about our trip to Stars on Ice at Hershey on my other blog: http://notsocomical.comicaltruestory.com/2026/05/stars-on-ice.html 

R: Isabeau, what jump will you do?!?!
L: I know you're just curious, but it's coming across as heckling. 

Dropping Like Hotcakes

 

We have been to two ice skating shows recently (Disney on Ice then Stars on Ice) and for both performances I packed a large interior pocket full of glowsticks. I highly recommend doing this if you take kids to an ice show, as the stands are kinda dark and kids are often not ok with that. But definitely bring extras because kids will drop them and they will roll down the stands and yeah they be gone. 

Explanation: "dropping like flies" and "selling like hotcakes" are two different phrases that can be combined to "dropping like hotcakes", meaning something that is highly desired is quickly depleting. 

Text:
M: Wow, the kids still have glowstick bracelets after the performance!
L: Yeah, they were dropping like hotcakes but I brought twice as many as we needed and we have no extras now.

Wonka and Goliath

 

A continuation from Tuesday, about the giraffe milk macaroon. Maybe Goliath was an early tester (think of the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie and what happened to the kids). Instead of just feeling ten feet tall, he actually became ten feet tall. 

Text:
Title: 1 Samuel 17
D: Wait a minute - did you give these to Goliath?!?
W: He put his hand into his pockolate and got himself some WONKA CHOCOLATE.

Wonka and David

 

A new twist on the classic David and Goliath? Enter one giraffe milk macaroon. (But what if Goliath ate one? Find out on Thursday.)

Once again, this is from the song "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" in the movie Wonka (which does not contain any Bible character cameos - I was just thinking these up as I listened to the movie soundtrack on my way to Hershey Park for a fun Saturday). 

Text:
Title: 1 Samuel 17
W: 🎵 Goodbye to feeling small And frightened of it all Just eat a few of these and you'll be feeling ten feet tall. 🎵
D: I'm... just gonna trust God to use me and my sling stones. 

Wonka and Elisha

 

Counter-offer: behold my hair-repair eclair.

The movie Wonka has many catchy songs, and "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" is no exception. I could not help but think of a certain Bible character who called down two she-bears when taunted by a group of youths mocking the fact that he was bald. 

Text:
Title: 2 Kings 2
W: 🎵Lost your hair, Can't think where, feeling fairly bare up there...🎵
E: You... are getting all the mama bears.

Alphabet Aggressive

 

Someday he'll get it right, but for now it's cute and hilarious. 

Explanation: the actual song ends with "Now I know my a-b-c's, next time won't you sing with me?" rather than my kiddo's "next time you will sing with me." 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Alphabet Abbreviated

 

This is now how my toddler sings the alphabet song every time. My preschooler has tried getting him to "repeat after me" and go through the alphabet, but she doesn't have it down well enough for that. But they got further than the first phrase, so there's that. And got back on track when I prompted them. Also, he will sing it up to a letter that appears in his name, then just sing out how to spell his name instead (as in l-m-n-o-r-i-o-l-e). His actual name has five letters, which means it can be sung in the b-i-n-g-o song, which means the alphabet song transitions seamlessly into Bingo. 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Salty Lot

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandma and niece!

What is Lot embarrassed about? See the previous comics as we move through Genesis in my church's Sunday sermon series. In case you don't know what happened to Lot's wife, she was turned into a pillar of salt. We actually haven't gotten to that account yet, but I thought this up with one of the earlier comics and had to write it up early. 

Text:

L: That's it - I'm leaving and never coming back. You are so embarrassing. 

A: That's a bit harsh.

R: Yeah, Lot, don't be so salty.

In case you've forgotten - previously on Keeping Up With the Patriarchs: 

Mannette

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
My little dude, you are convinced of your friend's name just like your sister is convinced of her friend Faniel's name (it's actually Nathanael). But you seem to know the M is not really there. Someday you'll say their names correctly. Someday. 

Text:
Title: Annette
O: mmm-mmm-Mannette starts with A!
L: Yes, but also no. 

Age Disparity

 

The joke here is that my kids don't fully enunciate and miscommunications happen. And this is what I think of and how I respond now when one of them says they're full, as neither of them are four. 

Explanation: "Full" and "four" sound the same when you have a toddler's pronunciation. 

Text:
O: I'm full!
R: No you're not - you're three!

Body Builders

Happy Mother's Day! We are the ultimate body builders. 

Explanation: Body-building is a form of exercise to tone your body. Pregnancy could also be seen as body building, as you are literally building a new body. 

Text:
BB: Would you like to join a body-building program?
L: No thanks, I've already built two. *holding both of my kids' hands*

Alpha Gals

 

If you don't know what Alpha-gal is, consider yourself blessed. My mom-in-law has it, and it's quite limiting on what you can eat. It gives you an allergy to all mammal products - their meat, milk, hooves, etc. You don't realize how much you use mammal products until you try to make something without them.

Explanation: Lyme, CT, is where Lyme's Disease (commonly gained by a tick bite) got it's name. Another tick-bourn illness is alpha-gal. Unrelated, Alpha Males are dudes who want to be super manly men. 

Text:
Title: Somewhere in Lyme, CT
T1: Down with the patriarchy! No more Alpha Males!
T2: Only Alpha Gals here!
T3: Preach it, sister!

Linty Hair Brush

 

Yeah, toddlers don't always see things as they are. Mainly because they don't know how things are supposed to be. It can be eye-opening. 

Explanation: A lint brush is often a cylindrical shape with a handle and many layers of sticky paper over the cylinder. Don't put sticky paper in your hair. That is a bad plan. Just don't. 

Text:
O: Why you have a hairbrush?
M: That's a lint brush.
L: Don't use that on your hair.

Absolutely a Sith

 

I wasn't sure which version I liked better, so here's both.

Happy Birthday to my most amazing, my one and only, my husband of almost two decades. 

Happy May the Third! The day before May the Fourth. It's a Star Wars thing. Much like how this comic is a Star Wars thing. The Jedi are absolutely sure that only the Sith deal in absolutes. But for real, my preschooler is giving out way too many ultimatums, it's like a mattress store that is constantly having close-out everything-must-go sales. 

Side-note - we will be back to our regularly scheduled Abraham&Lot comics next week. Or actually the week after since next week is Mother's Day and I have a comic for that. It's not about Lot's kids' mom because that would be kinda wrong. 

First Version:
R: If you don't play this right now, you will never ever play it again!!!
O: Only a siff deals in absowutes!
Second Version:
R: If you don't play this right now, you will never ever play it again!!!
L: Only a sith deals in absolutes!