Toddler Back Pain

 

You are telling me what is going on while not telling me what is going on. I now want to use his explanation whenever I have an injury: "my knee hurts because it feels like ow." Also my toddler says "because" with such emphasis like he's about to explain some great truth but then he says a two-year-old thing like yep that's what he is. 

Text:
O: my back hurts.
L: Aw, buddy. Why does your back hurt?
O: BECAUSE it feels like ow. 

Hisnia

 

It was a confusing conversation that spawned this comic. It is funny but also rather frustrating when people see the letters that make a pronoun in a word and change it to their preferred pronoun as if every instance of his/him/her/she in a word is a direct link to a pronoun. Also it took me a minute to remember the male form of her, like him? he? wait use it in a sentence "her bag" would be "his bag" ok I got it. 

Explanation: "Hernia" is a medical condition that also contains the letter group "her" which is a female pronoun. But I just realized "do you see her/him" works as well as "that is her/his bag" so really it could be a himnia. That sounds like a condition related to church songs (hymns). 

Text:
D: You have a hernia.
M: No, I'm a guy. It must be a hisnia. 

Another Tall Order

 

Last month I made some short-order / tall-order comics and here's another for that segment.

Explanation: A tall order is a complicated or difficult thing. A giraffe is tall. Giving the giraffe toy to my son is not difficult, but it is pun-worthy (as most things are). 

Text:
O: I want the giraffe!
L: That's a tall order.
O: *confusion*

Potato Chip Cooking Methods

 

This one came to me when my brother was eating a bag of hand cooked potato chips. Please note in my comic the names of the chips - I am proud of the branding.

Text:
A: I sell hand cooked potato chips. *holding po-tay-to chip bag*
B: Well I sell foot cooked potato chips. *holding po-tah-to chip bag*
A: ew.

Shopping on Target

 

The joys of parenting in the potty training phase. No, this is not a true story - I would not do that to my daughter (and really it would be to myself as the one who would be on cleanup). The true part of the story is where my son sees things in the store and calls out their names so I say "we have that at home" and move on. He now says it back to me (while laughing) when I mention what's on the list and I have to say, "no, we don't have it at home and that is why we're at the story, my dude." 

Text:
L: We are only going to get what we need as we shop.
O: Goldfish!
L: No, we have Goldfish at home.
R: Potty!!!
L: We have potties at home!

Hearsay

 

Happy Birthday to my grandmother! We look forward to our next visit up to see you.
Check your sources, people. This is a true story and indeed, his guess was incorrect. My library gives out hand or book stamps at the end of most story times (there's a booklet to track how many classes you've been to but my kids prefer to get their hand stamped). I don't remember why I drew this as a sticker rather than a hand stamp - maybe it was clearer this way. 

Text:
E: Come get a sticker!
O: Maybe it's purple
R: I heard it's purple.
L: Did you hear it from his guess?
R: Yes.

Stuff the Duvet

And a bonus version:

Stuffing a duvet into the duvet cover is an act of love. Unless you do it wrong, then it's an act of annoyance. There are many tips and tricks with how to get it all in there flatly, but I wish you the best of luck if you need to tackle the task. 

Explanation: During the summer, a duvet cover can be used on your bed without any filling. It's like a top sheet or thin comforter in that state. But as the weather gets colder, you need more warmth and can fill the duvet cover with a duvet of your preferred thickness. 

Text:
L: Speaking of laundry, if the duvet cover isn't warm enough for you - you can stuff it.
Bonus:
M: I feel targeted. I guess I could do that.
L: If you want it done right, I can do it.

Bubble Blaster Weed Whacker

 

We are nearing the end of both bubble blasting season and yardwork season, so I needed to get this one out before it got stale. I could have just saved it for next summer, but that would mean planning very far ahead. Finding time to draw comics is difficult, but I do enjoy drawing when I can get around to it. I think up a lot of comics that live in text form on my phone, but getting to sit down and draw them out takes more time than just jotting down the text. Finding balance is hard with anything, even enjoyable hobbies.

A bubble blaster is like a battery powered water gun, but it blows bubbles rather than squirts water. It is a way for young kids to blow bubbles without spilling the solution. While using traditional bubbles is great for coordination and such, sometimes you want the easy win rather than a learning experience. 

Text:
R: What is that noise?
L: Sounds like our neighbor is using a weed whacker.
R: Or it could be a bubble blaster?
L: Unlikely.
R: Maybe?

What Else Did God Make

We have been teaching our kids the First Catechisms (there's 150 in there and while I disagree with 133/134, the rest are sound theology and also we have only tackled the first like 10). There are songs to go along with them - Ask Me Whooo. I've only heard the first two albums (available on Spotify and YouTubeMusic) so like the first 100 catechisms set to song and they are a catchy way to learn some sound theology. Provided your kid actually sings along instead of making his own version and overpowering the chorus. Yes, God did indeed make the trees and flowers but ALSO so much more - all things, to be exact.

Links here:
First Catechism: https://opc.org/cce/FirstCatechism.html 

Ask Me Whooo: http://askmewhooo.com/home.html

Text:
Song and Mom: What else did God make? Whaaat else did God make?
Song and daughter: God made all things, all things, all things! God made all things, aaaaaall thiiiiings.
Son over song: Trees and flowers!

Be Grass

 

Sometimes your kids just say what they mean, and while it still comes out of left field - it is nice to know what they're going for. And this is a true story, transcribed how it happened (even down to the blue mug I was sipping my tea from). My kids were asking me to be a bunch of things, mainly animals so I would just make a sound between my sips of delightful Earl Grey. But then there's this. 

Text:
O: Can you be grass?!?
L: How??
R: You lay down on the ground, and we walk all over you.
L: Hard pass.

Be a Horsie

 

Someday my kids will appreciate my humor. Or at least groan respectably at it, like some of my nieces do. I know I'm hilarious, and that's what matters. 

Explanations: Horses say "neigh." "Nay" mean no. Yay, a pun! Toddlers don't seem to acknowledge those.

Text:
O: Can you be a horsie?
L: Nay.

Sea Eagle

 

We went to the beach in October and it was actually nice because no sunburns and also no crowds. As shown in this comic, toddlers can act like poor speech-to-text software with just assuming similar words are your words. He was super excited to see the birds, whatever they were. And we did not feed the beach birds - what goes in then goes up and comes down. 

Text:
L: Look - a seagull!
O: WOW! Eagle!
L: No, a sea gull.
O: Oh! Sea Eagle!

Weightlifting: Parenthood Edition

Happy early Birthday to my brother-in-law Dan! You can probably do both.

Yeah parenting is not for the weak. Deadlifts don't scratch and kick you while shrieking. Please note that my children are usually angels, but every child has overemotional times and WOW they are taxing on the whole household.

Explanation: A deadlift is a strength exercise where you lift a barbell, which does not move or scream at you. A livelift is something I just made up, and it's when you get exercised trying to move your child mid-meltdown. I'm sure there's an exorcism pun to be made there.

Text:
WL: I can deadlift 400 pounds of cold, hard iron!!! YEAH!!!
L: I can live lift 50 pounds of squirming, crying preschooler.
Ref: WINNER!

Indecisive

 

If you say someone is on the fence about something, what kind of fence do you picture? One of those natural wood, neighbor-dividing ones that Garfield the cat would caterwaul upon? Or a white picket fence that you'd have to balance daintily on? Some sort of wrought iron type? So many options.

Explanation: he's being indecisive about being called indecisive. That is a difficult word to spell.

Text:
A: Your family is know for being indecisive.
B: I'm not sure about that...

Tall Order Cook

I would love for this to happen in real life. You would probably lose your job but you would gain the admiration of all those in line. 

Explanation: A short-order cook has been explained in a previous comic (look back if you need to). A tall order is when something is going to be difficult or hard to accomplish. I do not want to be a tall-order cook.

Text:
P: I want *super complicated order*
S: We're gonna need the tall-order cook.