
A: Do you prefer front-end, back-end, or weekend? :)
B: What is weak-end?
A blog for my thoughts that come out as comics
Explanation: "a counting book" is a common book for young readers which teaches them to count, usually from 1 to 10. "accounting book" would be something a college student studying accounting would have, and would not be appropriate reading for a toddler. The two, however, sound the same.
Text:
M: She's reading a counting book from her aunt.
N: An accounting book?!? She's two!!!
L: Six fingers!
Text:
A: I like pomegranates, but opening them up makes such a mess.
B: Oh, you can break them open under water to limit the juice spray!
A: So like, in the pool?
Text:
N: Bleh, plain vanilla ice cream. Do we have anything to spice this up?
L: Paprika?
N: ?!?
L: ... smoked paprika?
Explanation: You cannot move across a flat surface with both feet strapped into your snowboard. Well, you can but it involves jumping/lunging and that's exhausting. So cross-country skiing is totally a thing which is a real workout, but cross-country snowboarding would just be super frustrating and might be entertaining to watch. UPDATE: I am at least the second party to think of this sport because here's a video about this "sport."
Text:
A: How is your job going?
B: Like I'm cross-country snowboarding.
Explanation: There's a phrase about the Wild West, "rootin', tootin'". When a baby is hungry and looking for food, it's called "rooting". When a toddler is gassy, it's called "tooting".
Text:
Cowboy: What's it like, having a baby and a toddler?
L: He's rootin', she's tootin'.
When we took my daughter in for her last checkup, we had some questionnaires to fill out about developmental milestones and they asked about speech, hearing, dexterity, and such but nothing asked about her taste buds and that's probably because toddlers are just weird with food - my girl was dipping her goldfish crackers into the yellow mustard we had for our pretzels and was loving the combo. Is cheesy-mustard a thing? I wouldn't know - I'm lactose intolerant.
Text:
D: Your daughter is slow to speak.
M: Well, that's Biblical!
D: She's not slow to wrath.
M: Well, that's just judgmental.
L: bababa
Text:
A: Alright, line up over here for the trust fails!
B: ...You mean trust falls, right?
C: I'm gonna skip this one.
Text:
Title: And They Never Learned Each Other's Names
M: This is Zoey. (walking a dog)
L: Aw, this is Lucy! (holding hand of toddler)
Explanation: I just want to know how someone would respond if I told them my kid's name was one of the ones I jokingly picked out (like Luigi or Vashti).
Text:
Title: Things I am not bold enough to try
A: Your son is so cute - what's his name?
L: Throckmorton.
Happy almost Birthday to my niece and Grandma!
Who else plays Wordle? Who else struggles when coming up with a word and thinks, that can't be a word, when it's clearly a basic word? The word was "anger" for me a few days ago - I thought "One who angs? What does that even mean???" But thinking of "liver" makes me think of "deliver" which reminds me of a joke where the nurse says they're going to deliver the baby but the parents say they want their baby to keep their liver.
Explanation: sometimes when you stare at a word too long, it really doesn't seem like it's spelled correctly or is a real word. At least that's how it works with me. If a driver is one who drives, then a liver should be one who lives. But is a river one who rives?
Text:
A: "Liver" - what kind of word is that?
B: One who lives.
Explanation: In the 1980's movie The Scarlet Pimpernel, the main actor's catchphrase is "Sink me" said with an accent. In the table top game Battleship, your goal is to sink your opponent's battleships, and when you land enough hits they have to tell you it's sunk.
Text:
Title: Battleship with the Pimpernel, Part 1
C: B5
P: Sink meh!
Text:
L: I'm glad he's sleeping for four-hour stretches at night.
N: Well, just wait till -
L: NO! I am enjoying this moment - do not draw my attention to the train wreck on the horizon.