Day Train

 

Everyone is fighting a battle you cannot see. But some people are fighting a battle you totally can see. Those people are parents. Especially parents of toddlers. Pray for your friends with kids. They need more prayer. 

On a humorous note, back in the day at my office job: one day I came home and said that there was a dumpster fire at work, only to explain it was literal and now there are signs about not smoking near the dumpster and definitely not throwing your cigarette in the dumpster and the smoking area is on the opposite side of the building. (FYI it was not me, I am not a smoker, I can neither confirm nor deny that my coworker was the culprit) 

Text:
M: How goes the day?
L: It's been a train wreck and my child is the driver.

Finger-Licking Clean

 

I like that my kids think up solutions but wow their thought process is not fully developed.

Text:
L: It's time to wipe your hands, buddy.
O: No, I already sucked on my fingers.
L: That's... not the solution you think it is.

Toddler's First Heresy

Happy early Birthday to my niece and brother-in-law!
Cubbies is the group of Awana for 3 and 4 year olds. My little guy is great at memorization but I have to work with him with some of the unfamiliar words so he don't just substitute with other, scriptural words. He also tends to dance around when I'm working with him, so I tried to capture that in the comic. 

Text:
L: Let's practice your verse for Cubbies: Genesis 1:1 - in...
O: In the beginning God ... worshipped the heavens and the earth.
L: Well, that is what we call heresy.

Updated Sayings: Fine As Dust

 

Clearly this is an update to "fine as a frog's hair" which is usually followed by "I reckon." I also was thinking of this as someone describing a friend, which would mean they're clingy and impossible to remove from your house. Drywall dust just gets everywhere and you think you cleaned it all up but no you haven't. There's always more.  And yes please, use this phrase wherever you can and report back on its reception.

Text:
A: We need to update some sayings.
B: I'm fine as drywall dust, I reckon.
A: Let's workshop it.

Updated Sayings: Ding Dongs for Thee

 

Yeah, it doesn't sound quite so somber or heavy. This is an update of John Donne's poem "For Whom the Bell Tolls." Granted, the bell in question is ringing out for a funeral I believe. The ding-dong cart (also called an ice cream truck) is a much happier tune. And again, please use this phrase whenever you can and report back on its reception. 

Text:
A: We need to update some sayings.
B: Ask not for whom the ding-dong cart ding-dongs - it ding-dongs for thee!
A: Let's workshop it.

Updated Saying: Burst Boba

 

Happy Birthday to my nephew and niece and a belated Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law!
There is a food truck in Hershey, PA, called Bursting Boba and it's all bubble tea. I have not stopped by it, but it's very colorful. What would this updated saying mean? I feel like it could be bursting your bubble. Please use this updated saying and report back on how it lands.

Text:
A: We need to update some sayings.
B: Don't that just burst your boba!
A: Let's workshop it.

Zoo Hybrids

 

I feel like I've done a similar comic before... Oh, my GMO animals comic is similar. And I just had to fact check myself because that one mentions squirrel monkeys and I have no recollection of those critters and thought I might have meant spider monkeys. Have no fear - both types of monkeys exist. 

We saw spider monkeys at the Beardsley Zoo - check it out if you're in the CT area. It's a nice little zoo. 

Text:
Sign: Welcome to the ZOO!
M: Next up are the spider monkeys.
L: Thankfully not a hybrid of those two creatures.

Parent Hood Haikus

Double Feature! 

Happy early Birthday to my brother!
Some days it be like that. Some kids know when you're on your last nerve and try to hop right on it. Other kids are completely oblivious as they trip over your last nerve. Does my household have both types? I will neither confirm nor deny. 

Sometimes I comic my thoughts - sometimes I haiku my thoughts - sometimes I do both. 

Text:
Parenthood Haiku:
Don't test me, my child.
I get text anxiety.
I know I will fail.

Parent Hood Haiku:
Rob the rich to feed
My kids one snack of berries,
Then do it again.

Woodchuck's Cousin

 

A comic in three parts. 

It's autumn, so there are chubby woodchucks about. Or do you call them groundhogs? Whistlepigs? I haven't heard that last one before doing a search for other names of woodchucks. And yes, this is a comic inspired by my brother-in-law telling me to make a comic about this.

Text:
M: You should do a comic about a woodchuck upchucking wood.
L: *thinking*
Option 1:
U: Oh, no - you're looking for a woodchuck to remove those logs. I am an upchuck, and you don't want what I can do.
R: *horrified*
Option 2:
W: I am a woodchuck. But, due to my frequent nausea, they call me an upchuck.
R: *horrified*

Color Me Surprised

Bonus:

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandpa! He's the best. 
Thanks for helping, kiddos. What even is the origin of this saying? It might have to do with blushing. No paint, markers, or crayons needed. 

Text:
M: Well then, color me surprised.
L: Ok, where are the crayons.
Bonus:
R: I have finger paint!
O: Markers!

The Imagination of Children

 

My kids both have very active imaginations and therefore it's free entertainment for me to sip my tea and just watch whatever their getting into next. Any piece of paper can be a map, menu, or whatever is needed for the given scenario. Any toy can become the long lost treasure of an intrepid group of adventurers. It's just amazing to see these kids growing up into the next level of childhood. 

Text:
Title: The Imagination of Children
O: I NEED TO GO!!!
R: Where?
L: ?
O: To South America! To find blue unicorns.

Toddler Art Critic

 

The art in question, literally: 

My little artist is particular about his art being recognized for what it is. I think I did a rather good comic recreation of his artwork. He works with explosions of color and loads of joy, so you can't argue against that. I keep telling his older sister (who insists "he is just scribbling!") that you have to enjoy something before you get skilled in it. Don't diminish the first forays as amateur when that should be a badge of honor (doing something for the love of it rather than for payment). 

Text:

L: *Looking at artfully scribbled page* Is this... a chompadoo? That chomps things?
O: *exasperated* No, Mom, this is a chopadoo. It chops things!

Mommy, no, MomAI

 

Don't use AI or you could be next? Not that I use AI very much as a mom. Usually just to convert recipes to use the pan size I have, or find substitutions for ingredients I don't feel like taking a specific trip to the grocery store to procure. Also, now I'm thinking of the song "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof but it's now "If I Were an AI" and it's about drinking tons of water and having the quickest but not always correctest answer. 

Explanation: My name is Lauren. It didn't look right to do LAIren as it just looks like I'm shouting the start of my name. And Lairen just looks like a misspelling. 

Text:
M: AI is replacing everything!!!
L: Mom is now AI. LaurAIn.
Kids: *shocked*

Rocky Cartoons

 

Rocky and Bullwinkle is a favorite cartoon from my husband's childhood, however my children haven't seen much of it as there are perilous parts and my daughter doesn't handle those well. Rocky is apparently a dog in the Paw Patrol show (we don't watch it but my kids like the books from the library). I'm now remembering when my daughter heard "We Don't Talk About Bruno" and immediately thought of Cinderella's dog. Kids don't handle duplicate names well, and honestly most adults don't either but sometimes we don't make the connections like kids do.

Text:
Title: Cartoons
M: Is that a flying squirrel on your shirt? Like Rocky?
R: Dad, Rocky is a puppy. 

Chocolate Blueberry Pumpernickel

 

In an amazing turn of events, he like the pumpernickel! I did inform him clearly of the total lack of both blueberry and chocolate, and apparently I got through to him. 

Blog update: I am struggling to get pictures to upload, but if I inspect the page and show the console then the picture upload works? I'm not sure what's going on, but I did find a path forward so the blog can continue until whatever's broken gets sorted out. It seems an error is being thrown but if I'm looking for the error, it doesn't happen. Yay software. But I can see how this bug could get into prod since most devs have the console open to catch what's going on and therefore wouldn't see this. 

Text:
O: I want a chocolate blueberry bagel!
L: That's pumpernickel.
O: Ok, I want that.
L: Sure, let's see how this goes.