Private Sergeant

 

It must be the way to the opposite of an officer's lounge. We were at a garden when we saw this, but you never know?

Whoops, I accidentally scheduled this for last Thursday, but here it is again when it was supposed to post. Oh well.

Explanation: "Private" can mean "not for public" but also it is a military rank. 

Text:
R: What does the sign on that door say?
M: Private.
R: What does that mean?
L: Not a sergeant.

Gift From Children

Happy Father's Day! I hope your kids got you a good gift, not something viral. 

Text:
A: You should do something to get rid of your lingering cold.
M: But *sniffle* it was a gift *sneeze* from my children *COUGH cough COUGH*

Squirrel on the Fence

 

My kiddos really like seeing the wildlife in our backyard. Currently we have a bunny that sleeps in the shade of a swing in the afternoons. One time, my little guy pointed out a "big bird, Mom!" and yep there was a hawk chilling on our fence. The bunny was not around at that point, for good reason. 

Explanation: "On the fence" is a phrase that means you're undecided about something. But sometimes things can literally be on a fence. And being literally on a fence can show that you're undecided about coming into a yard. 

Text:
O: SQUIRREL!!!
L: Will he come in the yard? He seems on the fence about it.
M: *GROAN*

Private Sergeant

It must be the way to the opposite of an officer's lounge. We were at a garden when we saw this, but you never know?

Explanation: "Private" can mean "not for public" but also it is a military rank. 

Text:
R: What does the sign on that door say?
M: Private.
R: What does that mean?
L: Not a sergeant.

Sibling Logic - Preschooler Edition

 

We have a cute wooden puzzle with sea critters and I overheard my kids doing the puzzle and thought "well that's a nice way of correcting your little brother." The piece in question was either the jellyfish or the squid. 

Text:
Title: Doing a Sea Critter Puzzle
O: Get octopus!
R: That looks like an octopus but it's pretty different. 

Charge at Cash

You never know when you'll need your rapier so always be prepared? Pocket knives just don't have the same gravitas.

Explanation: "Charge" can mean "rush forward" or "put it on my credit card" and only one of those is technically allowed in a cash-only business. 

Text:
A: CHARGE!
B: Sorry, we are cash only. 

Whine in the Woods

 

Turns out that sign was left up after the fact and Wine in the Woods was a few weekends ago (not that I care because I'm not a fan of wine, or whine). 

Text:
L: Wine in the Woods is this weekend.
M: We have whine with us wherever we go.
R&O: DAD Dad Dad DAD Dad Dad Dad DAD Dad Dad Dad

Yachts of Money

What else do you do with boatloads of money, but buy a crazy expensive boat?

Explanation: "yacht" and "lot" can sound quite similar, depending on your accent. 

Text:
A: How much money is in your bank account?
$: Boatloads.
A: So like, a yacht?

Finder of Things

 

Life lessons to a preschooler.

Additional life lesson: If you can breathe through both nostrils, thank God for not being congested. It's so obnoxious. Maybe by the time this scheduled post is live, I will regain said ability. 

Text:
R: I can't find it!
L: Did you look next to your feet?
R: Oh, there it is!
L: When you can't find a thing, a helpful thing to do is look for it.

Stay In Your Lane

 

After my preschooler saw them painting lines on a road between us and the library, every time we went on that road she told me about how they painted it that one time and how we needed to avoid the orange cones (that were no longer there). 

Can we make this a new version of "stay in your lane"? Like, someone is giving advice that they aren't skilled enough to give and you just say "they're painting the lines on the road of *said skill*."

Text:
A: They're painting the lines on Montgomery Road today.
B: Why are you telling me this?
A: Stay in your lane, bro.

My Chaos Monster

 

I feel the need to add that the name Persephone can mean "Chaos Bringer" and while that's not my kid's name, it's slightly relevant.

Currently (while scheduling this) I have a cut on my fingertip and it's annoying to type so I'm going to be keeping these notes short.

Text:
L: Buddy, you are so chaotic.
O: No, I'm Ori. 

Rouxing Dinner

 

Roux is "a mixture of fat (especially butter) and flour used in making sauces" per Google’s English dictionary, which is provided by Oxford Languages. It's pronounced /ro͞o/ so therefore "rouxining" would be pronounced like "ruining." And "oui oui" is "yes yes" in French, pronounced like "we we." 

Text:
L: Why did you add flour to the melting butter?!? You're roux-ining dinner!!!
M: Oui oui.

Jira Opportunities

It's actually "Work Item" instead of "Issue" but I like my version better. What Jira Opportunities are you working on today? 

Explanation: Jira is a type of program management software, which is something that teams can use to track what they're creating or fixing, and individual items in there were called Issues but now they're called Work Items. I've heard plenty of quotes about seeing issues as opportunities, to get you to reframe your mindset about a situation. 

Text:
M: Jira is rebranding, so now Jira Issues is - 
L: Jira Opportunities? 

Get the Ball

 

True Story. I thought it had rolled under something or was lost but nope, just being held by little brother.

Text:
R: Can you help me get the purple ball?
L: Sure, where is it?
R: In Ori's hand.

Season with Grace and Salt

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." - Colossians 4:6, ESV

Text:

H: Could we branch out and try some new seasonings? *holding a carton of Old Bay*
W: *gasp* We season with salt and grace in this house!