Tilt the Graph

 

It's an upward curve when you flip it over, like turn that frown upside-down.

Text:
A: How are the sales numbers?
B: We're on an upward trend - just tilt the graph.

Final Meltdown

 

I wrote this one a while ago but it's still very valid. Especially with the toilet training. But it's getting easier with Robin just in time for things to ramp into overdrive with Oriole. Yay. Also I wrote a similar comic back in March so that could be why I feel some déjà vu. 

Explanation: There's a hard rock song "Final Countdown" but I changed the lyrics to be parenthood related. 

Text:
M: It's the ♫FINAL MELTDOWN🎝 *electric guitar noises*
L: Nope, this is probably third out of seven for today.
R: *scream crying*

Manly Bugs

 

Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law! 
The mind of a preschooler is truly amazing. She knows what ladybugs are, and if it's not a ladybug then clearly it must be the opposite. What I think is impressive is that she now knows what lanternflies are and will point them out to me to squash because she knows that's what we do. 

Text:
R: There were bugs outside!
L: What kind, ladybugs?
R: No, not ladybugs.
L: Manly bugs?
R: Yeah, manly bugs.  

DOTA2 Under Attack

 

I always think this line is funny because, you're in a fighting game and he's all outraged/surprised like what did you expect man? For people to not attack you? But to be fair in the game it's physical attacks not verbal, so he's right to be surprised/outraged in my comic here. 

Explanation: Enchantress is half-deer and very protective of the forest I believe so she would have a problem with someone whose main attack is shooting fire out his mouth. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
Enchantress: Dragons are HORRIBLE for the forest - fire destroys everything good!
Dragon Knight: I am under attack!

Stay as Long as You'd Like

 

Our two hours of enjoyment have expired and we are ready to go home. There are definite perks to being an introvert couple, like we're both ready to leave a party after the same rather short time, but it is hard when neither of us want to go to a thing but we should go to the thing. It was looking like our preschooler might be an extrovert, but she recently has been asking "why are we going out and about?" and wanting to stay home so maybe things are changing. 

Explanation: The host is encouraging everyone to stay and socialize, but the couple has drained their social batteries and will not be swayed. 

Text:
Title: Introverts
H: No need to rush out - stay as long as you'd like!
L: Oh, we have. 
M: *holding hand, ready to leave*

Carousel Communication

 

Did you know that some antique stores have carousel horses for sale? Sometimes they aren't full-sized, more like 3/4-sized, but some have full-sized ones. Sometimes they have the original paint job, while others have been painted one solid color, to make them seem more like a classic statue. And yes, the horse has the pole in the middle just like on the carousel so it's on a stand like that. I don't think it's a good addition to a household with small children but maybe someday. Until then, maybe a music-box-sized one will do. Why would I want a carousel horse? It could be because my grandmother has a few in her house. It's certainly not because I wanted to write carousel so many times - I think I know how to spell it by now. 

Text:
L: A carousel horse would fit nicely in our house.
M: We don't have a carousel horse. We aren't getting a carousel horse.
L: Maybe in the front room, or behind the couch. 

Monster Trucks and Toddlers

 

That's fair. 

Text:
L: We could take the kids to a monster truck rally.
M: Aren't those extremely loud?
L: So are the kids.
R: ROAR!
O: rawr!

Mad Method

 

Sometimes people just don't see things the same way as you. Specifically the way you sort things. The phrase I'm playing on is "the method to one's madness" which means that there is often a reason behind someone's mysterious behavior. But often does not mean always. And sometimes someone's method is just madness. 

Text:
L: There's a method!
M: But it's madness!

Traffic Lights

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my niece and nephew! I remember when my nephew was a toddler and I was riding in the back seat with him and he would say "red means go!" and laugh uproariously. I think that was when I taught him how to play rock-paper-scissors. Anyways, I went to college in Florida so I know about the beach warning flags and the purple flag means dangerous wildlife. I don't want to know what kind of area needs a purple option on the traffic light. My girl was just being silly.

Text:
R: Red light means stop! Green light means go! Purple light means...
L: Dangerous wildlife. 

DOTA2 Tiny Diet

Happy October! 🍁
I originally was going to have a medical-type character give this advice to Tiny, but after so many tries at getting Tiny defined I went the easy route and used a Dragon Knight from an earlier comic rather than designing a Venomancer or Necrophos. A humorous part of this comic is that as Tiny levels up, he grows bigger, so to trim him down you'd need him to immature. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
DK: My friend, you should lose some weight. 
Tiny: Back to the grindstone. 

Gaslighting

Happy early Birthday to my brother who gave me the idea for this comic! I think the appliances version of this comic works best, but I originally wrote it as people since that's my default mode. Please note that gaslighting is not a nice thing and you shouldn't do it. 

Explanation: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation, but also it's a type of stovetop (as opposed to electric). 

Text:
F: You're bad at gaslighting.
S: No I'm not - you're crazy!

Spin Doctor Junior

 

So yeah potty training is quite the journey. My preschooler likes to emphasize "it's OK! it HAPPENS!" rather forcefully for all sorts of things, some things that truly are fine and some things that really shouldn't happen. It is a good mindset for the many things that truly are ok and happen. 

Text:
R: Mommyyyyyyyyyy!
L: What's up, my girl?
R: My shirt is dry!
L: That's good to hear.
R: My shorts are a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit wet BUT! It's ok! It happens!!!
L: ...Anything else to report? 
R: *deep inhale* Ineednewundies. (translation: I need new undies)

DOTA2 Feasting on Enough

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandpa!
The character Zeus has a phrase in DOTA2 which is what he's quoting here and it makes me think. Is enough really as good as a feast? I feel like if you make exactly enough food for people, then either nobody wants to eat the last pieces so people don't actually get enough, or all the food is eaten and you're left wondering if anyone was still hungry. Maybe on an individual level, if you eat enough then it doesn't matter if you were at a feast with extra or finished off all of what you had. Hmmm...

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Zeus
Enchantress: You barely brought enough food for everyone!
Zeus: Enough is as good as a feast.

Muffet Crossover

 

It's constantly surprising what a preschooler will say or fixate on. My kiddo likes Spider-Man despite never having seen a show with him. She has seen him on clothing and in books, and she really likes him. For those unaware, the Little Miss Muffet (not Muppet, that's a different crossover) rhyme reads "Along came a spider and sat down beside her."

Text:
Title: Little Miss Muffet
R: Along came Spider-Man who sat down beside her -
L: Unexpected plot twist!

DOTA2 In the Bag

 

Another DOTA2 comic! I have a few. At the beginning of the game, you can have your character exclaim that your team is going to win (it's in the bag) and each character has a phrase for that. But now I think of this when my cashier asks where he should put the receipt. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
Storm Spirit: Where is the receipt for our questing snacks?
Dragon Knight: This, my friends, is in the bag. 

Breaching a Contract

 

Sometimes I can't decide which way lands better so I draw both ways and like both. So here are both! Also, I like all of my comics but some are definite favorites and this one is a favorite. I came up with it while playing card games with my family and I think this turn of phrase should enter the common vernacular. 

Text:
A: So what do you think?
B: Like a whale, you're breaching this contract. 

A: Why did Legal send me a whale picture?
B: Ah, you must be breaching a contract. 

Judgmental Parenting Part 1

 

Couldn't decide which version I liked better so here's both :)

I feel like this is going to be a series. Thankfully this is not a true story in that I have not gotten this unhelpful phrase thrown at me (that I recall - maybe I'm just blocking that unhelpful encounter from my memory) - but I did have the picnicking situation described happen. In my experience, other parents tend to be super helpful and understanding, and commiserating with them is a help not drain. Sometimes kids are just weird and do unexpected, unhinged things and all you can do is warn your fellow parents that this may happen to them. Also, my son really likes ducks and might just quack at you. 

Text:
J: Well, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to have kids.
L: Really?! Did I know that my kid would open up his PB&J and slap it on my leg while we were picnicking in the park with far too many ants? Did I?!?!
O: Quack! {or} *licking PB&J off my leg*

Lets Be Teetotalers

 

So this is where we are currently - it's been a rough time with this preschooler, getting her that last stretch to potty trained. Also, fun fact, I'm a big fan of tea and I don't drink alcohol. I should order more tea. Specifically, bergamot tea. 

Explanation: Teetotalers are those who don't drink alcohol - they can also be described as dry. When you're potty training a kid, you want them to keep their pants (and really everything they're wearing) dry. 

Text:
L: Not to be a teetotaler but, like, *world weary sigh* could we have at least one dry day this week???
R: Liiiiiiiittle bit wet - new undies please.

DOTA2 Dragon Waiting

 

My husband plays DOTA2 and I keep thinking up comics based on the lines I hear the characters say. In the game, the character is not waiting for his library hold to come in but I now think of this when I hear the line. The librarian is Libby, the app that many libraries use for digital access to their stacks. I recommend checking if your local library has this app - it's free and you can get all sorts of digital and audio books!

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
Libby: You are fourth in line.
Dragon Knight: The dragon waits.

Pork Fried Rice Pudding

 

Happy Birthday to my Mom!
I believe the rices were Afghani, India, and Chinese. We had a bit of takeout that week, and that's not always easier than home cooking when you have toddlers. I did not end up combining them - I did not see a version where that could end well. As a side note, I had to look up if "pork fried" had a hyphen in it and it does not so now you know! Also I had to look up if that's a hyphen or a dash. So much research!

Text:
L2: I have 3 kinds of leftover rice in my fridge.
L1: Make rice pudding!
L2: ... Pork fried rice pudding?

Plebe vs Proletariat

 

The truest of stories would have these characters in a car, but that's no fun to draw. Do I know what plebeians or proletariats are? Vaguely. I do know they go together like princes and paupers. No one was injured in the running of this stop sign, but you still shouldn't run stop signs (no matter your social class).

Explanation: Saying something is for plebes (the slang for plebeians) is to say only the lowly need to do it and if you're of a higher standing then you can ignore it. Proletariats were a higher standing than plebeians in the old order.

M: There was a stop sign - why didn't he stop?!?
L: Stop signs are for plebes - he seemed more proletariat. 

Bergamot Tea

 

True story from a grocery store run. She was in a shopping car with her brother but I wasn't gonna try to draw that - even if it was a sweet two-seater car cart. Whoever thought to weld a Little Tikes car to the front of a shopping cart was a very smart person. An even smarter person made the Wegman's style car carts though - it has the kids in the regular spot of the cart cart (in grabbing range for the parent) but facing away from the parent (out of kicking range of the kid)  and has steering wheels for the kids (that do NOT steer the cart for obvious reasons). But yeah I'm not going to draw a grocery cart. 

Explanation: Earl Grey tea is a black tea with bergamot (a type of citrus fruit). Sadly, bergamot sounds like something else to a toddler.

Text:
L: We are looking for bergamot tea.
R: Booger snot?? Looking for booger snot tea!?!
L: ... Don't make me dislike the Earl. 

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Phone

I wasn't sure which way was better so here's the bonus version:

Happy September! It's the most wonderful time of the year. So this comic was sparked when we were at the Fire House Food Truck Fridays (a wonderful local tradition) and we had one of the outside tables in beautiful weather but then a light summer storm rolled through. 

Text:
L: My phone says it's raining.
M: Oh, you have weather alerts set up?
L: No, there are water droplets on the screen.
Bonus:
M: They look so real!

Fairness

Speak truthfully but maybe not that truthfully. I don't recall what prompted this conversation but I think my reply derailed it. 

WHAT this is the last comic before the best month???? Yay September! 

Text:
M: Well, to be fair -
L: Why would we be fair?

Hide and Seek Champion

 

They seek him here... and there... but apparently not right where he is. This is a pimpernel flower, which is the nom de plume of Sir Percy in "The Scarlet Pimpernel." There's a rhyme used in the movie adaptation (recited by Sir Percy of course) which starts: "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere." I enjoyed drawing this flower. Also inspired by this rhyme, a while ago I did a painting of some French bulldogs not looking at a pimpernel flower: 

Text:
Title: Hide-and-Seek Champion
*Image of a pimpernel flower*

Dozers

 

Ah yes, a dozer - one who is in a doze. I'm remembering a joke about a doctor saying he will deliver the baby and the parents responding that they want the baby to keep his liver. 

Explanation: A dozer is technically a bulldozer which is a type of heavy machinery. But if you break up the words to "bull" and "dozer" then you get a different idea.

Text:
Title: Wordle (or any word game, really)
M: "Dozer" - what kind of word is that?!?
L: It's a type of bull.

Breakfast Negotiations 2

 

Is my child a Swifty? Nope, just a lover of middle eastern fruit. There is so much potential miscommunication from this simple fruit. 

Explanation: A date is a rather sweet fruit but can also be a romantic outing so clearly parents are against their kids having those.

Text:
Title: Breakfast Negotiations
R: I wanna date!
L: You've had too many already.

Breakfast Negotiations 1

 

My older toddler likes dates, while my younger toddler prefers raisins (this might be influenced by me, a mom who doesn't feel like chopping up dried fruit when there's perfectly bite-sized ones available). But seriously, dates are packed with sweetness and my kid does not need to start her day with that - granted I'm fine with her having an apple or banana with her breakfast so that might just be hypocritical of me. 

Explanation: A date is a rather sweet fruit but can also be a romantic outing so clearly parents are against their kids having those.

Text:
Title: Breakfast Negotiations
R: I wanna date!
L: It's too early for dates. 

Mountain Moved

Maybe it was previously a molehill? 

"He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”" - Matthew 17:20

Text:
Image: a mountain with "Matt. 17:20" up the side
A: I thought that was elsewhere yesterday.

Chocolate Sprinkle Bagel

 

True Story, there's a shop called Horseman Bagels in Sleepy Hollow, NY, (super tasty bagels!) and you can guess what their logo is (in case you can't, it's the headless horseman holding a bagel instead of a pumpkin). I redirected Robin to a rainbow bagel which she loved so yay no meltdown! Also, I feel like Bagelheads and Horseman Bagel (which I keep thinking of as "Headless Bagel") are opposites and I just realized when I looked them up that Bagelheads is only in Pensacola, which happens to be where I went to school but I didn't realize they're a totally local shop. So that's neat. 

Text:
L: We're getting bagels for breakfast.
R: I want a chocolate one with sprinkles.
L: ... that would not be a bagel. 

Vegetable Musicians

I have not thought up any songs this group would sing, but I'm sure there's plenty of puns to choose from. I don't feel like looking up the difference between chives, scallions, and spring onions but I feel like they're used interchangeably. 

Explanation: Chives and scallions are similar vegetables. A rapscallion is a mischievous person. I didn't realize no spelling change was needed for the band name pun. Also, with a letter swap, a "mischiveous" vegetable is a spring onion up to no good. 

Text:
B: You chives are making horrible music!
RS: We're the RapScallions. 

Wonton Destruction

 

This comic was spawned by me misspeaking a phrase. Whoops. The real phrase is "wanton destruction." A tasty treat from a Chinese restaurant's menu is wontons. You can see how these could merge to make this comic. Also, he's not pictured but the toddler mentioned is my Oriole (I feel like Robin has far more comics but then again she's older). 

Text:
N: Your toddler devoured his Chinese food quite messily.
M: Yeah, it was an act of wonton destruction. 

Trophy Husband

 

Guys this is a real mug (that I did not purchase) from Hobby Lobby and the description is: "Make sure your husband knows he makes you feel like a winner! Trophy Husband Mug is a classically shaped, blue ceramic mug with the phrase "Trophy Husband" in white lettering on the front. Gift it to him and give him a wink when he drinks from it in the morning!"

Text:
A: Why do you have a "Trophy Husband" mug??
B: My wife says I win all the awards at work. 

Siblings and Shoes

 

This is not quite a true story but it was inspired by my husband saying I should wear shoes I didn't mind getting dirty for a trip to maybe a festival or market of some sort. If you have siblings, let me know how it goes if you try this one. 

Text:
Title: Siblings
A: Why are you wearing my shoes?!?!
L: You said to wear shoes that I didn't mind getting dirty. 

Discus Dinner Plans

 

How are the Olympics nearly over? How do they fit so many competitions into the time a family can spends at Disney World? 

So this one time in college I competed in discus and shot put (my school had a one day event with all the classic Olympic athletics like running and jump things). I did not do well because those are in fact real sports and I did not have a clue as to how to toss them about. But I did get a quick refresher from some nice competitors who actually knew what they were doing. 

Explanation: To "discuss" is to converse about a thing. To "discus" is to do the sport of discus, which is where you throw basically a stone frisbee as far as you can.

Text:
A: Can you come to dinner on Tuesday?
B: I need to throw an oblate spheroid weight with my husband first.
A: ... what?
B: We will discus then get back to you.

Canoodle

 

Congrats to my little brother getting married today!
I just really want to watch this get pitched on Shark Tank. I believe in it. I haven't done any of the science but surely it could be done. 

Explanation: A small thin boat is a canoe. If you made one out of pool noodles, you could mash the names together and get canoodle. Which is a word for something that is not a pool noodle boat. 

Text:
S: We used the material in pool noodles to make a small thin boat - it's a canoodle! 
I: *facepalm* 

Eleven out of Ten

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! Wow it's been a while. You're an eleven, unless that will cause issues then you're a ten. A ten plus. Oh no, the stack is overflowing with my love for you!

Explanation: In computer programing, if you try to access something that is not in the set (i.e. if your set is 1-10 and you try to reach 11), then you get an error because that does not compute. But when you're complementing someone, you can say they exceed the scale given and it's a good thing. 

Text:
R: On a scale of one to ten, you're an eleven 💗💗
J: Out of bounds error?

Car Call Signs

 

I was walking through a parking lot and thought this one up. 

Explanation: The call signs are car models (Jeep Renegade, Ford Maverick, Honda CR-V). 

Text:
L: Here are your call signs - Renegade, Maverick, CR-V.
R: Yes!
M: Sweet.
C: Wait a minute...

Tea No Timer

 

Panic panic panic! Yeah, this has happened too many times. I am particular about my tea brew times. It tastes best when you make it correctly. 

Text:
L: The tea is never going to be ready!
M: That's an exaggeration.
L: No, I forgot to set the timer.

Duck Mango

 

Sometimes parenting is a lot of guesswork and I mean it's guessing what on earth your child is actually saying. We haven't even gotten into slang yet thankfully but wow toddlers learning concepts is a ride. The conversation pictured actually happened in my car and I could tell she was looking at the picture she had colored at the library so I had to wrack my brain as to what was on the picture (a bunch of summery items) and then what could be misconstrued as a duck and/or mango. 

Explanation: sometimes a kid can think all birds are ducks (like how some people say all sodas are cokes), and "mango" and "flamingo" sound similar so why not sub one for the other.

Text:
R: What this duck - a mango?
L: That bird is a flamingo.

Number Two on the List

 

I mean there's not much else to say about this one. In my defense, we're potty training a toddler over here so bathroom talk is just an everyday subject.

Text:
SP: My constipation is over!
LP: That's number one on my list of things I didn't want to know.
LC: I thought it'd be #2.

Shofar So Good

 

I thought this up at my cousin's wedding reception when I saw my niece standing on a large rock and blowing on a big stick that had a distinctive twist in it. I have only heard a shofar once, and that was back in college when I was leaving my Bible class - I heard a peculiar noise and looked over and there was my future brother-in-law, blowing a shofar in front of his class. Apparently they had waited until the class hour was over so that they wouldn't disturb the other classes, but this meant that many students witnessed this event.

Text:
M: Is that ram's horn working out as a trumpet for you?
P: It is shofar.

Odometer Reading

 

Clearly, since Europeans flip the month and day when writing the date [May 3 is written 3/5 rather than 5/3] then they also flip the beginning and end of the year [2024 becomes 2420]. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Also, why is "dyslexic" such a difficult word to spell???

Text:
M: The odometer was at 2420, so this year if you're dyslexic. 
L: I think that's how they write the year in Europe.

Literary Baseball

 

And now that's what I'll think the book and team are called. I remember reading it in high school and not liking it, but being forced to do things tends to paint said thing negatively. 

Explanation: the baseball team is the Seattle Mariners. The book is called Silas Marner.  

Text:
M: It's the Orioles vs. the Mariners, so that's Baltimore Orioles vs. -
B: The Silas Mariners. 

No Hare Out of Place

 

My pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 11 last week and he titled his sermon "Not a Hair Out of Place" and that spawned this comic. 

Explanation: "Hair" and "hare" sound the same but mean very different things. This comic plays on the phrase "not a hair out of place" which means everything is in order. And if the rabbits are all back in their enclosures, then things would all be in order. So it works both ways?

Text:
A: Did you get the rabbits all back in their enclosures?
B: Yep, not a hare out of place anymore.