Taco Dinner

 

Parenthood is a wild ride. Also, it's all about rebranding. Oh, you don't like chili? Well no worries, we are just having meaty beans. (credit to my friends Jen and Eric for that one) My little guy used to say he didn't like whatever was offered, no matter what it was or how much he actually liked it. He now accepts/requests items and then eats one bite, says it's good, and goes no further. 

Text:
L: We're having tacos for dinner.
O: I don't like tacos!
L: I'll give you a brand new bouncy house if you can tell me what a taco is.
O: ... a tickle ball?
L: Don't complain about food you actually like. 

Alphabet Aggressive

 

Someday he'll get it right, but for now it's cute and hilarious. 

Explanation: the actual song ends with "Now I know my a-b-c's, next time won't you sing with me?" rather than my kiddo's "next time you will sing with me." 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Alphabet Abbreviated

 

This is now how my toddler sings the alphabet song every time. My preschooler has tried getting him to "repeat after me" and go through the alphabet, but she doesn't have it down well enough for that. But they got further than the first phrase, so there's that. And got back on track when I prompted them. Also, he will sing it up to a letter that appears in his name, then just sing out how to spell his name instead (as in l-m-n-o-r-i-o-l-e). His actual name has five letters, which means it can be sung in the b-i-n-g-o song, which means the alphabet song transitions seamlessly into Bingo. 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Mannette

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
My little dude, you are convinced of your friend's name just like your sister is convinced of her friend Faniel's name (it's actually Nathanael). But you seem to know the M is not really there. Someday you'll say their names correctly. Someday. 

Text:
Title: Annette
O: mmm-mmm-Mannette starts with A!
L: Yes, but also no. 

Age Disparity

 

The joke here is that my kids don't fully enunciate and miscommunications happen. And this is what I think of and how I respond now when one of them says they're full, as neither of them are four. 

Explanation: "Full" and "four" sound the same when you have a toddler's pronunciation. 

Text:
O: I'm full!
R: No you're not - you're three!

Ages and Stages

 

Happy Belated Birthday to my Robin!
My Oriole, you go so many places. But not to Cubbies, Pre-K, or Kindergarten when you're two. Cubbies is the 3&4 year old group in Awana Clubs. It's always interesting to hear how a kid sees the world and explains things.

Text:
R: When you're 3, you go to Cubbies. When you're 4, you go to Pre-K. When you're 5, you go to Kindergarten.
O: I'm 2, so I'm not going anywhere.

Full of It

 

Parenting a toddler is a wild ride and the language acquisition is such a rollercoaster. They usually take things at face value and have their own way of describing things very literally but you have to think of how it looks to them to see the literal part. One cute thing my kids do is, when they want me to scroll up or down on a screen, instead of saying "scroll up/down" they instead say "a little bit downer" or "a little bit upper" and I'm not gonna correct them. 

Text:
O: I'm full!
M: Are you full of it?
O: Yyyyyyyyyyyep!

Learning to Count

 

Happy belated Birthday to my dad-in-law! Also Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law and nephew. Quite the festive weekend.
So my toddler doesn't quite have his numbers straight. Is it considered stealing candy from babies when you give them a choice and they choose the lesser? I could choose to make this an educational lesson, or I could choose to eat the extra chocolate chip. It's a hard choice. 

Text:
L: Do you want 2 chocolate chips or 3?
O: TWO!
L: Ok.

Lip Hurt

 

Sometimes my toddler answers a question before thinking of what he should say. I think some adults have this issue, too. 

Explanation: Like any two-year-old, my kid hopped out of his chair at the table and just went face-first onto the hardwood floor. His lip was rather swollen for a few days. The Kids Academy workers at the gym were concerned. I felt utterly horrible even though he has gotten out of his chair countless times with no issues so it clearly was an unexpected moment of clumsiness. Such is life as a parent.

Text:
L: How is your lip feeling?
O: GOOD! I think it still hurts a little.
L: My dude, you're sending mixed messages.

Jesus vs Moses

 

Merry Christmas! 
I'm sure the two get confused all the time? But when you think about it: (1) both were put in a peculiar vessel as a baby (manger, woven boat), (2) had the ruler of their land try to kill them (Pharaoh, Herod), (3) performed miracles, ... ok, I can see how my toddler got a little confused. And there's also:
"The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me [Moses] from among you, from your brothers—it is to him you shall listen" (Deut. 18:15, ESV) and
"For if you believed Moses, you would believe me [Jesus]; for he wrote of me. But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?" (John 5:46-47, ESV). and 

"And there appeared to them [Peter/James/John] Elijah with Moses, and they were talking with Jesus." (Mark 9:4, ESV).

Text:
O: Baby Moses!
L: Nope, that's baby Jesus.
O: Oh, ok. Big Moses!
L: Nope, that's Joseph. There's no Moses in the nativity set.

No Bones About It

 

It's amazing what random facts kids will internalize. 

Text:
O: bloh bloh bloh I'm octopus!
L: Oh, you have lots of arms.
O: bloh bloh bloh I have no bones.
L: ... Yep, that too.

Adorable Kid Boy

 

I mean, you can be all of those things and also adorable. And he definitely is.

Text:
L: Are you being adorable?
O: No, I'm Ori and a kid and a boy. 

Panda Bears of Jesus

 

Toddlers (and some adults) have a tendency to substitute words they know for words they don't. It can be kinda hilarious. As a side note, I have been enjoying watching Saddleback Kid's Stories of the Bible on YouTube - it's very Biblically accurate while engaging yet not being overstimulating. 

Explanation: Parables. The word he was looking for was Parables. Not panda bears. A parable is "a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, as told by Jesus in the Gospels" per Oxford Languages. 

Text:
O: Let's watch that Bible story!
L: Do you know what it is?
O: Panda Bears of Jesus!
L: Ah yes, Jesus was always talking panda bears with the people. 

One Lick No Thanks

 

My two-year-old's personality is really coming out and he's quite the comedian. In a toddler way. And he had to try his hardest to force his licked hand into my mouth. Every time I wiped his hand dry, he sucked on it again to refresh the lick. While giggling. This is why parents are constantly sick, in case you were wondering. The kiddos want to share their saliva. 

Text:
O: *sucking on hand*
O: You want some?
L: No. *sigh* What is it?
O: It's lick!

Give Me Five Cold Germs

True story - toddlers really don't know social etiquette or basic hygiene. 

Text:
D: Good job - give me five! Wait - not the hand that was just up your nose; use the other hand. OK!

Thanks for Trick or Treating

 

A little late but that's how it goes - I think up a comic, remember to jot down the comic, digitally draw the comic, and eventually get around to posting the comic. I thought about saving this one for next Halloween, but hopefully my kids will be speaking nice and clearly by then. Writing how my kids say things can be difficult. But also can be easy when they actually speak clearly. 

Text:
A: How was trick or treating?
M: I reminded my kids to say "thank you" nice and clearly.
A: And did they?
M: Well, they said "tank oo knife an' cwearwhee!" 

What Else Did God Make

We have been teaching our kids the First Catechisms (there's 150 in there and while I disagree with 133/134, the rest are sound theology and also we have only tackled the first like 10). There are songs to go along with them - Ask Me Whooo. I've only heard the first two albums (available on Spotify and YouTubeMusic) so like the first 100 catechisms set to song and they are a catchy way to learn some sound theology. Provided your kid actually sings along instead of making his own version and overpowering the chorus. Yes, God did indeed make the trees and flowers but ALSO so much more - all things, to be exact.

Links here:
First Catechism: https://opc.org/cce/FirstCatechism.html 

Ask Me Whooo: http://askmewhooo.com/home.html

Text:
Song and Mom: What else did God make? Whaaat else did God make?
Song and daughter: God made all things, all things, all things! God made all things, aaaaaall thiiiiings.
Son over song: Trees and flowers!

Be Grass

 

Sometimes your kids just say what they mean, and while it still comes out of left field - it is nice to know what they're going for. And this is a true story, transcribed how it happened (even down to the blue mug I was sipping my tea from). My kids were asking me to be a bunch of things, mainly animals so I would just make a sound between my sips of delightful Earl Grey. But then there's this. 

Text:
O: Can you be grass?!?
L: How??
R: You lay down on the ground, and we walk all over you.
L: Hard pass.

Be a Horsie

 

Someday my kids will appreciate my humor. Or at least groan respectably at it, like some of my nieces do. I know I'm hilarious, and that's what matters. 

Explanations: Horses say "neigh." "Nay" mean no. Yay, a pun! Toddlers don't seem to acknowledge those.

Text:
O: Can you be a horsie?
L: Nay.

Pickle Burger

 

The pickle burger, drawn by my preschooler for my toddler.

It's interesting what my kiddo thinks she can or can't draw. I'm trying to encourage her and explain how objects can be drawn using simple objects, like a car is a square with circles for wheels or a spider is a circle with eight sticks for legs. Also, that's an aqua-mat, which is a surface they can draw on with water and it evaporates to clean itself off and be used again. Pretty nifty. 

Text:
R: What do you want me to draw?
O: Car!
R: I can't draw a car. How about a pickle burger?
O: OK!