Mickey Donald

 

Yeah, there's a comma there but apparently I wasn't emphasizing it when spoken. Yes, I'm pretty sure Goofy is a dog but it's just weird when Pluto is also a dog.
We have been watching some of the classic old movies from my childhood (or before but I remember watching them as a kid) with the famous trio taking on classic fairy tales and stories (Prince and the Pauper, Jack and the Beanstalk, etc.) and it's been nice but also I've forgotten so much of those movies it's sort of like watching it anew (and also watching as an adult looking out for scary parts is different than watching as a kid about to be blindsided by unexpected happenings). 

Text:
L: We're gonna watch a Mickey, Donald, and Goofy movie.
R: That makes no sense!
L: What?
R: Mickey Donald?! It should be Mickey Mouse!!!
L: Three characters, my girl. Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy I don't know what he is.

Cold Butter Day

 

Some days it be like that. The effective speaker can convey so much through word pictures. Pray for your friends with young kids - the going can be rough. But really, pray for all of your friends, regardless of parenthood status. Everyone could use more prayer. 

Side note: if you need softened butter for a cookie recipe but only have frozen butter, you can grate the frozen stick and it blends amazingly well into batter. I forget where we found this backing hack but it's great for those who decide to make cookies on a whim. 

Text:
M: How goes the day?
L: Like cold butter on soft bread.
M: *cringe*

Day Train

 

Everyone is fighting a battle you cannot see. But some people are fighting a battle you totally can see. Those people are parents. Especially parents of toddlers. Pray for your friends with kids. They need more prayer. 

On a humorous note, back in the day at my office job: one day I came home and said that there was a dumpster fire at work, only to explain it was literal and now there are signs about not smoking near the dumpster and definitely not throwing your cigarette in the dumpster and the smoking area is on the opposite side of the building. (FYI it was not me, I am not a smoker, I can neither confirm nor deny that my coworker was the culprit) 

Text:
M: How goes the day?
L: It's been a train wreck and my child is the driver.

Finger-Licking Clean

 

I like that my kids think up solutions but wow their thought process is not fully developed.

Text:
L: It's time to wipe your hands, buddy.
O: No, I already sucked on my fingers.
L: That's... not the solution you think it is.

Parent Hood Haikus

Double Feature! 

Happy early Birthday to my brother!
Some days it be like that. Some kids know when you're on your last nerve and try to hop right on it. Other kids are completely oblivious as they trip over your last nerve. Does my household have both types? I will neither confirm nor deny. 

Sometimes I comic my thoughts - sometimes I haiku my thoughts - sometimes I do both. 

Text:
Parenthood Haiku:
Don't test me, my child.
I get text anxiety.
I know I will fail.

Parent Hood Haiku:
Rob the rich to feed
My kids one snack of berries,
Then do it again.

Color Me Surprised

Bonus:

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandpa! He's the best. 
Thanks for helping, kiddos. What even is the origin of this saying? It might have to do with blushing. No paint, markers, or crayons needed. 

Text:
M: Well then, color me surprised.
L: Ok, where are the crayons.
Bonus:
R: I have finger paint!
O: Markers!

The Imagination of Children

 

My kids both have very active imaginations and therefore it's free entertainment for me to sip my tea and just watch whatever their getting into next. Any piece of paper can be a map, menu, or whatever is needed for the given scenario. Any toy can become the long lost treasure of an intrepid group of adventurers. It's just amazing to see these kids growing up into the next level of childhood. 

Text:
Title: The Imagination of Children
O: I NEED TO GO!!!
R: Where?
L: ?
O: To South America! To find blue unicorns.

Toddler Art Critic

 

The art in question, literally: 

My little artist is particular about his art being recognized for what it is. I think I did a rather good comic recreation of his artwork. He works with explosions of color and loads of joy, so you can't argue against that. I keep telling his older sister (who insists "he is just scribbling!") that you have to enjoy something before you get skilled in it. Don't diminish the first forays as amateur when that should be a badge of honor (doing something for the love of it rather than for payment). 

Text:

L: *Looking at artfully scribbled page* Is this... a chompadoo? That chomps things?
O: *exasperated* No, Mom, this is a chopadoo. It chops things!

Wisdom of a Child

 

Nobody wants you to have the wisdom of a child. Faith of a child, sure. Wonder of a child, excellent. But that wonder and faith needs to be tempered by a caretaker with the wisdom of age. 

Text:
M: That's not a wise move!
R: When has that literally ever stopped us?
O: *Poking something he should not* 

Hand Biting Proverb

 

Someday, my children will see the wisdom of my words... as I'm just quoting proverbs from other wiser people. 

Explanation: "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" is a proverb meaning don't hurt the one that is giving you what you need, as that could discourage them from continuing to give you what you need. But self-harm is not usually what comes to mind with this proverb (unless you have a toddler, an uncoordinated one).

Text:
O: I bit my finger!!! *crying*
L: Buddy, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

No Snuggles Allowed

 

The mind of a child makes all sorts of connections that take me a minute to follow. Now that I think about it, my kids might think all sailors are pirates. We were watching Turning Pointe Ballet's Little Mermaid on YouTube, and my kids were calling Prince Eric's ship's captain the Pirate Captain. No amount of saying they are all sailors and that's just the captain could get them to realize that they were not pirates. 

Explanation: my kid hears "dictatorship" and thinks it's a type of boat (ship), and apparently only pirates are on boats. 

Text:
O: No snuggles allowed!
L: What kind of dictatorship is this?!?
O: ... We don't have a ship. We are not pirates. 

Rules of Parenthood Continued

 

You really start to understand lawyers when you're a parent and your kids are so very literal. I have had to refrain from snapping at my child when I realized he was technically doing what I said, just not in the way that I intended (the mind of a child is a bizarre place that does not understand figures of speech). The interaction that sparked this particular comic was my toddler trying to clean the sink with his toothbrush. When I told him not to use his toothbrush to clean the bathroom, he might have eyed his sister's toothbrush. But now that I think of it, my rule as listed in this comic does not prevent someone (Ori) from using someone else's (Robin's) toothbrush for bathroom cleaning. 

Text:
A: What new rules have arisen in your household this week?
L: We only brush our own teeth with our own toothbrush. 

Tootsie Rolls

 

The mind of a toddler is a wonderful place, full of new experiences and unfamiliar language idioms. 

Explanation: Would "tootsies" be toes, or toots (farts)? Neither is a good option. My kiddo calls toes "toesies" as in "I didn't want my toesies to touch the cold floor" and I think it's adorable. 

Text:
O: What is this?
L: A Tootsie Roll.
O: What is it's flavor?
M: Tootsies. 

Rules of Parenthood

 

So true. So many oddly specific rules.

Text:
A: Is parenthood like you expected?
L: I expected to say "don't put your finger up your nose." I actually say "don't put your brother's toes up your nose." I then clarify "don't put your or other's toe(s) up your or other's nose."

Throwing Food

 

Tales from Pre-K: name redacted to hide the one getting condemned. I was also informed that he tips chairs, as in when he sits in them he doesn't "keep all six feet on the ground" like I was informed to do as a child. My son thought the individual was really cool because he has the same name as a favorite uncle. You just never know what will stand out to a child. 

Text:
R: *redacted* is the boy who throws food.
L: We do not throw food.
O: Yeah, just gently throw.
R: We absolutely do not throw food at all.
O: Just gently throw.

Silly Donkey Song

 

Happy early Birthday to my niece! I am blessed with many nieces and nephews, and tomorrow concludes this one's first trip around the sun. 

Oh, the many translations/connections you make when you're a parent. We went to the Disney On Ice Encanto/Frozen show earlier this year, and for the song "Surface Pressure" Luisa sang/skated about with a crew of backup dancers/skaters who were dressed as donkeys. My kids thought it was hilarious. They giggle every time the song plays because they're thinking of the ridiculous donkey skaters ("they should be on all fours, like Sven, not on two legs!") ((Sven was played by two skaters in a shared reindeer costume whereas the donkeys were all individual skaters)). I'm pretty sure most people don't think of "Surface Pressure" as a silly donkey song. 

Side-note, did you know that Luisa is the middle child??? I totally thought she was the oldest. Isabella (must be said with all the disgust Mirabel can muster) is the oldest, while Mirabel is clearly the youngest. You learn something new every time you google a random thing to spell-check your comics. (I couldn't remember if her name was Louisa or Luisa). 

Text:
R&O: Silly Donkey Song!!!
L: Uhhhh *remembers Disney on Ice Encanto* right, "Surface Pressure." 

Full of It

 

Parenting a toddler is a wild ride and the language acquisition is such a rollercoaster. They usually take things at face value and have their own way of describing things very literally but you have to think of how it looks to them to see the literal part. One cute thing my kids do is, when they want me to scroll up or down on a screen, instead of saying "scroll up/down" they instead say "a little bit downer" or "a little bit upper" and I'm not gonna correct them. 

Text:
O: I'm full!
M: Are you full of it?
O: Yyyyyyyyyyyep!

Quarter Heart

Some kids try too hard, others don't actually try and just want you to do it for them. On a humorous note, my eldest will sometimes ask me to do things and say she can't so I'll reply, "did you try?" And often she didn't, she just wants me to do it for her. So now when my youngest asks me to do things for him, she will chime in "did you try?" and I think it's humbling to see how much my kids learn from and imitate me. 

Explanation: A quarter is half of a half. If you don't even do a task half-heartedly, you could be quarter-hearting it. 

Text:
O: I can't close my drawer.
L: My boy, you at best quarter-hearted that.

Shoes On

 

It's always interesting to hear how kids say things, but sometimes you have to try and flip their words around into the correct order because what they're saying is valid but also not what they want. And then they fire back a phrase you keep using on them, so that's a little heartening to know they are internalizing, in this case, trying before just giving up. 

Explanation: My kid is meaning to say "put my shoes on me" but by saying "put my shoes on" he's requesting me to wear his shoes and that will not work.

Text:
O: Put my shoes on!!!
L: I can't - they don't fit me.
O: *confused*
O: Can you try?

Letter Recognition

Adventures in parenting - trying to keep the facts straight. He was looking at a puzzle that had the pieces numbered, so I knew he had a number but I couldn't see which piece or number it was. 

Explanation: "C" and "see" sound the same. 

Text:
O: What letter is this?
L: It's a number.
O: oOoh, what number is this?
L: Buddy, I can't see.
O: oOoh, C!
L: ... NO.