Entitled BP

 

I heard this factoid on the radio and thought up this comic. I have rather low BP (still in the ok range, but near the bottom of said range), so I look for ways to not lower it further. Not sure if entitlement is the proper solution - actually I am sure it's not. 

Text:
M: Gratitude can lower your blood pressure!
L: So... I need to feel more entitled?

Flickering Lightbulb

 

No worries, he changed the light bulb. And then a few days later, another lightbulb started flickering. But no worries, that light is just dead now which quite frankly is better than the flickering. It's in a rather high ceiling so it's annoying to get the ladder to swap it out. But then again, we have a dead lightbulb in our bathroom right over the sink mirror and we haven't bothered to reach up and swap it out. But there's a lot of lights in that bathroom so one being out isn't as noticeable or annoying. Someday, we will have all the lightbulbs lit. Only for another to blow. That's how the story goes, as they say. 

Text:
L: Could you change that flickering lightbulb?
M: OR we could put up strobe light / seizure warning signage. 

Foisting Joy

Happy Pi Day!
It always makes a task sound better to say that it's an honor and privilege. I'm glad I spelled that word correctly because it's weird with the vowels. There have been a few comics that I've uploaded only to type out something from the text and realize I need to go make an edit. Spelling is difficult. Putting a toddler to bed is also difficult.

Blog Update: I have a due date coming up soon, and there's a chance I'll fall behind with my scheduling so there might be a lull in updates. I don't plan on abandoning this blog, because I find it enjoyable to share my thoughts as comics, but finding the time to draw and upload will be more difficult. 

Text:
L: Would you like the honor and privilege of putting our darling to bed, or would you rather foist that joy upon me?
M: *panicked deliberations*
L2: {just happy to be here, not at all sleepy}

Well Fed Ego

 

I forget what spawned this comic but it was something about feeding someone's ego and that made me think of an ego as like a type of pet and I wasn't sure how to depict one so I went with a simple blob. It would be interesting to see people's egos in a visible way, like you could tell who was proud or self-confident vs. humble or low self-esteem. But actions don't always equal ego (you could have someone acting like they have low self-esteem just to get people to praise them and inflate their ego). Oh, now I want to draw a follow-up comic where the ego is floating because it's inflated... 

Text:
A: What is that blob?!?
B: Oh, my ego. Some say I feed it too much.

Soup Du Jour

 

I thought this up in a restaurant when I saw it on the menu. I'm thinking this comic wouldn't work translated into French because they'd just be like, why would you think the soup of the day is a set recipe?? It's probably whatever is cheapest or about to go bad thrown together, but maybe that's a pessimistic view on the restaurant industry.

Explanation: Soup du jour just means "soup of the day" and it's on many menus because places don't want to reprint the menu daily or however often they change which soup they're offering. 

Text:
A: Soup Du Jour is the weirdest soup, like what even is the recipe??? I've had it made so many totally different ways!!!
B: *face palm*

Lucy vs Susan

 

In the Chronicles of Narnia, the character Susan is known as Susan the Gentle whereas her sister Lucy is named Lucy the Valiant. My toddler is constantly being reminded that she needs to be gentle whether that's when she's throwing things or swinging her arms about or (sadly still) biting because she's either irritated or overjoyed or like bored, I don't even know what's going through her head sometimes. I am reminded of a meme I saw which had a huge book with the text "Chronicles of Narnia as Lewis wrote them" then next to it a thin book with the text "Chronicles of Narnia if they gave Lucy a sword." In the books, Lucy is given a dagger whereas her siblings get swords and archery equipment. 

Text:
L1: Lucy, you need to be gentle.
L2: Well, you didn't name me Susan!

Solar Power Producer

 

Happy belated Birthday to my Dad! You're the best ♡

So I was at Costco and saw a solar power salesperson and I was able to avoid a conversation but I did think up this comic and was debating if I was bold enough to actually hold this conversation in real life. Time will tell I guess. But also as a human we are kinda solar powered; it's not healthy to avoid the sun completely. As much as it burns me, I realize the sun has some benefits. Opening the curtains is a good thing to do for your household. Even if it super heats up some of the rooms since the front of my house gets like 100% sun and that's why solar panels were a great idea.

Explanation: The salesperson wants to know which company the customer uses for her solar power, but the customer answers where the solar power actually comes from which is the sun i.e. solar. Is the customer talking about herself or her house? It's actually ambiguous! Could go either way. 

Text:
S: Are you interested in solar power?
L: We are already solar powered!
S: Oh, where do you get it from?
L: The sun!

Patience with Patients

 

Why do patience (the virtue) and patients (multiple people going to the doctor) sound exactly the same? Why are patient ("be more patient") and patient ("the nurse has a patient") spelled the same? There's probably an etymological reason for that. There's a comedian I follow on Instagram called stage_door_johnny who has all sorts of stories about how English spells things and they are quite humorous. But back to my comic, I'm reminded of the quote I saw somewhere about someone praying "please give me patience - not opportunities to be patient, I've had plenty of those and they don't seem to work."

Text:
Nurse 1: Why are people so frustratingly difficult?!?!
Nurse 2: Did you ask the Lord to give you patients or patience?

Royal Options

 

The names listed in the comic are from Disney, the Legend of Zelda, and Mario. Only time will tell if we'll have a Throckmorton Luigi (TLC) or Petunia Vashti (PVC)... Today I learned that Luigi and Mario are not just brothers but actually twins. Hmmm, the more you know. Also Vashti is a complicated character, but I remember that every time I read the book of Esther. There a lot to digest in that book - it's so full of drama and interwoven plots. 

Text:
M: We're thinking a two-syllable royal name, to match with our Queen Lucy the Valiant.
A: Charming!
B: Zelda!
C: Snow White!
M: Suggestions are now closed.
A: Jafar!
B: Tetra!
C: Daisy!
L2: Bowser!

Steep Pricing

 

I don't recall what type of tea we were discussing, but it was a more pricy kind. Personally, I like Plum Deluxe (not a sponsor) and their pricing isn't bad, especially with sales, but their shipping takes a while. But their tea is quite tasty! We got their Advent calendar this year and it came with a checklist so you could remember which ones "jingled your bells" or were "not my cup of tea." I would like to do it again next year - it was nice to have a new tea to try each day with our breakfast. There was only one tea that we didn't try - it had pineapple (a no for me) and mint (a no for my husband) so we gave the sample to my in-laws. 

Text:
S: That's a steep price!
L: Well, it is tea.

Baby Heelys

 

You may stand corrected, but those toddlers won't (be able to stand if they have wheels in their shoes). So Heelys are a type of shoe (sneaker) that have like a roller-skate wheel hidden in the heel and you can pop it out and scoot along like a cool kid. The official Heelys site has a size chart which says the smallest they go is 12Y which per a little research is a preschooler size (my toddler is a 7 so that means the smallest Heelys is nearly twice the length of her current shoes). I think it is wise of them to not make the shoes in smaller sizes. 

Also this comic is channeling a little from a character in an excellent show who had great ways to say when something was a bad idea ("that idea just made a bad idea feel a whole lot better about itself")("that idea just gave a bad idea the will to live"). 

Text:
A: I cannot think of a worse idea.
B: Baby HeelysⓇ.
A: I stand corrected.

Built-In Best Friend

Happy Birthday to my niece!
On a related note, I doodled our family on my bulletin and Lucy added her input by scribbling out her little sibling's name heart. So there's that.

Text:
A: You're getting a little sibling! A built-in best friend!
L: Spoken like an only child.
L2: *has no clue what's coming*

Bear Optometry

 

Happy belated Birthday to my niece!
There's a song about a bear who went over a mountain to see what he could see. And that's about the whole song, you just repeat that a bunch. OH apparently there's a second verse that says all that he could wee was the other side of the mountain. How riveting. And now I'm thinking about that joke that says not all construction jobs have the same level of excitement - enlarging holes is boring but fastening things together with small pieces of metal is riveting. Also, did you get the pun in the doctor's name? I heard it in a tv show, I think it was Heroes. I am failing to find my source because there are a lot of real-world "doctors" who are considered "heroes" who are named "Seymour" and/or "Clearly" so I need to up my search parameters. Or just take my word for it - I'm pretty sure they show a business card with that name on it. 

Explanation: A bear with poor eyesight needs glasses so he can go over a mountain to see what he can see, like the song says.

Text:
Banner: Dr. Seymour Clearly, O.D. Optometry
D: Soon, you will be able to go over that mountain!
Bear: *happy*

ATTENTION

 

Sometimes all you need is some attention. Many times when my toddler is whining, my husband will ask her what she needs and I will reply that she needs love and attention. Seriously though, many times my child just wants me to focus on her, which is fine if I'm not in the middle of like cooking dinner or counting stitches with crochet (which is why I don't usually crochet when she's around - also she likes to grab the yarn and that's frustrating). 

Text:
A2: ATTENTION! ATTENTION!!
A: Yes?
A2: I just want attention.

Heart of Hearts

I had another comic in mind for Valentine's Day but sadly my computer is being weird so I can't draw it BUT I have this comic that I drew at some point for this very holiday which is quite handy! Past Lauren planned ahead, which is great. So now you know what to picture when someone mentions their heart of hearts - it's just a heart made out of hearts. Thankfully the cute cartoony kind, not the anatomically correct kind. That would be quite the complicated shape to make using the same complicated shape. 

Text:
Image: a heart shape made out of small heart shapes
Inside said image: Happy Valentine's Day!
Below said image: from my heart of hearts ♡

Thimble of Power

 

Why craft an entire Infinity Gauntlet when you could just have a thimble of power? Now I'm imagining an Infinity War arc where everyone is fighting for control of this normal-sized thimble rather than all the gems spread across the universe. They're all using the art of misdirection and slight of hand to pocket the thimble, but there are easily-made fakes all about so clearly the chain of custody will get muddled and eventually nobody knows where the real Thimble of Power is - in an after-credit scene, there's a little old lady doing her needlework and the camera just zooms in on the thimble on her finger.

So about last Thursday's comic - I apparently made a scheduling error. I aim to schedule these comics to post in the morning and my email thingy sends out at 8am if there's a new post. Since I do my scheduling either during my kid's naptime or bedtime, both of those times are after 8am so I have to remember to not only schedule the date but also the time. I forgot to schedule the time. Whoops. Hence it was a Friday email for the Thursday comic. 

Text:
A: Whoever has this small sewing tool is the leader of our crafting guild.
B: ?
A: It's our thimble of power.

Money Laundry

 

So a quick search revealed that laundry mats are a common component of money laundering because they expect large amounts of cash in those venues which means they can fudge the numbers more easily, but my take is that people launder their money the traditional way i.e. washing and drying in the machines. Squeaky clean money. I'm not going to include links here because if you want to research crime, you must do that on your own. Now I want someone to run on the platform "Launder Clothes, Not Money." Please make it happen. 

Text:
B: How long will it take your man to launder the money?
M: There's a Laundromat nearby that has a 30min wash and 45min dry, so Johnny should be back in under two hours.
B: ...
M: I hope he took enough quarters. 

Pepper Water

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
Opposites and word pairs are a funny thing because not all words go the way you think they should. I did not overhear this conversation among children but I have been around enough kids to realize it probably has happened, and probably not with small children - I could see college students having this discourse. I'm trying to think of the implications of pepper water - hopefully it doesn't have waterfalls because that'd make pepper spray and wow that's how it occurs in the wild! 

Explanation: Saltwater and freshwater are opposites. Salt and Pepper are a classic pair. 

Text:
A: What is the opposite of saltwater?
B: Pepper water!
C: *face palm*

Work With Me, Toddler

Happy almost Birthday to my brother-in-law!
My toddler, like probably all children, is not always in a cooperative mood. She has recently decided that pajama time is silly time where she rolls and runs around in her diaper trying her hardest to stay away from the parent with the pjs. She is super adorable and giggling the whole time, so we can't really get mad. Also this works to tire her out rather than rile her up, so that's a win. 

Text:
L: Darling, can you work with me here?
L2: Nah nah nah nah nah
L: Of course, silly me.

Train on Oregano

 

Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law and our nephew!
We've reached the end of the Christmas vacation comics! It was a wild ride to get back from CT because that was when Southwest had their issue and cancelled all their flights and they gave us a four-day delay in getting home and we said NOPE and took the train. The train is nice with having plenty of space for the toddler to move about (she loved walked up and down the aisles waving at everybody) but it was a little stressful to find seats next to each other since the carriages were rather full of people who had their SW flights cancelled. But people are kind! We had people move for us so we could have two seats together and that was super nice. 

Explanation: Time and thyme sound the same. Thyme and oregano are both herbs. 

Text:
M: Is the train running on time?
L: No, oregano!

Hot Chips

 

Happy Birthday to my father-in-law!

I'm almost done with my comics from my Christmas trip to visit my parents. Such good comic material when families gather together. Bleh having food intolerances is annoying but once you figure out what makes you feel bad it is nice to be able to avoid that feeling. And I do like chips so just eating them is fine rather than adding the extras on top. Potato chips are superior to corn chips, but both are salty and crunchy and that's nice. 

Text:
L: I'm making nachos, but I can leave the cheese and spicy off some for you.
L2: ... I don't want hot chips.

Grown Up Goldfish

 

I usually get Goldfish for my child since she likes them and Costco carries them, but when I was up at my parents for Christmas they had Cheez-Its and I realized they're kind of the same thing, just more boringly shaped. Such squares. Also, my toddler can sort of say "fish" and calls both Goldfish snacks and also actual fish in her 100 First Words book by the same word, and I'm not sure how she's picturing that - like does she think the cracker snack is an actual fish, or does she think the actual fish are cracker snacks? She really enjoyed going to the local Aquarium recently - was loving all the huge tanks and the fishes moving about in them. We got to see an unofficial dolphin show because they officially cancelled the performances but the dolphins still did their tricks at feeding time and we happened to be there for that. Then we realized it was our feeding time and wow the prices in there were classic Amusement Park pricing so we headed out and about to find a quick lunch. 

Text:
L: Cheez-ItsⓇ are just GoldfishⓇ that gave up on their dreams.

L2: *munching happily*

Stinking Dollars

 

Happy early Birthday to my brother!
Now I'm thinking of a scene where there's a mob boss type person telling a lackey to launder the money and then that guy just.... takes the suitcase of money and tosses it all into a machine at the local laundry mat. He returns with the bills all haphazardly stuffed back in the suitcase, still warm from the dryer. While waiting for the lackey to return, the boss is talking about how long it should take for the lackey to go to enough businesses to buy then sell items only to be surprised by said lackey with his suitcase full of warm money after a 30min wash and 45min dry. Now I'm thinking of a comic about this...

Text:
A: It costs three hundred stinking dollars?!?
L: If your money is stinking, maybe try laundering it. 

Sibling Ramblings

 

A slight continuation of the last comic, more of me and my brother after a tasty meal by our mom. The garlic sauce was great, but it was called garlic juice by someone then this spiral sort of happened. But from the previous comic, I now know that garlic soda is a thing in Switzerland. But now I need to look up if pasta soda is a thing, because that list of weird soda flavors has me questioning every ridiculous flavor as possibly being real. Ah, all the Google results are talking about baking soda in pasta, and that's not what I'm going for here. 

Text:
Title: Siblings
L: Garlic sauce.
L2: Garlic juice!
L: Pasta juice? 
L2: SodaStream that - carbonate those carbs!

Onion Soda

 

If ginger, which is a root, can be a soda (ale, which is basically synonymous with beer) then why not pick another root, onion, to be a soda? Does that mean that root beer is syntactically the same thing as ginger ale? And any root (potato, for example) could be SodaStreamed and called root beer? Things to ponder...

Also, I think this is an excellent example of why I should not ever get a SodaStream. I feel like carrot soda could be marketed to health nuts. Now I want to look up if carrot soda is a thing. The closest thing I could find is carrot cake soda, which is still quite odd but not in the health food category. WHAT THIS IS WEIRDER: both onion and garlic sodas are a thing per this article. Wait, now my comic is about an already made product... I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Text:
L: You've heard of ginger ale, now get ready for:
L2: Onion soda.
L: If you can liquidize it, you can carbonate it!
M: *facepalm* 

Cooking Disturbed

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
This is a continuation from last week's comic. And now, I really want to write a recipe where this is a step. I mean, if "cook undisturbed" is valid, then the opposite should be, too! And who doesn't want a little disturbance - never mind, disturbances in the kitchen usually means something gets burnt due to chasing after a toddler or trying to clean up a mess or whatnot.  

Text:
L: So that needs to cook undisturbed for 3 minutes, then add this and cook disturbed for 1-2 minutes.
M: I'm pretty sure the recipe says "stir frequently" for that last part.

Settle the Child

 

This came up because my family likes to play table top games in the evening (usually card but sometimes board). My Mark didn't get this on first read but then it connected, which means I probably need an explanation. To "settle" a child is to help them calm down, usually for a nap or bedtime but sometimes just to calm down from a freak-out. "Settlers of Catan," often abbreviated "Settlers," is a board game where you gain resources by trading or luck of the dice in order to build your settlement. Some of those resources are sheep and wheat (also ore, wood, and brick). Fun fact, the first time I played Settlers was at a year-end vacation (at Word of Life) and the deck was partially in German for some reason but the pictures were clear what they meant. 

Text:
M: Can I help you settle the toddler?
L: She needs two sheep and a wheat.
L2: *crying*

Grandma's House

 I admit, I will eat so much more dairy at my Grandma's house than my usual (very low) amount because her desserts are just too amazing to pass up! Her éclair cake is delicious and her ice cream cakes are the best and cannoli and so many amazing treats... I do pack a whole sheet of Lactaid pills when we go up to visit. It's just smart. I know my weakness. 

Explanation: I am lactose intolerant but this developed during my college years so I know how amazing dairy tastes but now it is a forbidden food. I make allowances for childhood favorites (basically everything my Grandma makes) by taking Lactaid pills, which usual provide what my body needs to process dairy (but not always, for some reason, so it's a tossup if I'll feel ill afterwards). 

Text:
L: We're going to Grandma's, you know what that means! *holding a sheet of Lactaid pills* 

Cooking Undisturbed

 It sounds better to say "stir frequently" rather than "cook disturbed" but now I want to insert that into a recipe somehow. I'm also realized there could be a comic about a mom telling her toddler to leave because the recipe says "cook undisturbed" and that means no children clamoring for attention. 

Text:
L1: Cook undisturbed for five minutes.
L2: Nothing in this house is undisturbed.

Flights Impacted

 Was anyone else impacted by the Southwest Airlines mess? Thankfully we were staying with family and also we were able to flip our tickets to the train (that's in a later comic) so we were by no means stranded. But we were suppose to fly out on a Wednesday and they said how about Sunday? However my amazing husband was able to get us train tickets right away and that worked out (praise the Lord we even found seats next to each other in the carriages very full with multitudes of other people were in the same proverbial boat which was actually a train instead of an airplane). 

Whenever I hear the word "impacted" I think of wisdom teeth. Impaction is just not good, especially when it requires surgery. 

Text:
M: Southwest says our travel has been impacted by their issues.
L: How badly?
M: Like wisdom teeth.

Mala-Chai

 

Is it flowing with milk and honey? Do all Biblical cafés overdo the milk and honey? I am trying to think of the name of the restaurant in The Bible Museum but I'm gonna double-check via Google to say YES it is Milk + Honey Café. Oh, the restaurant way upstairs is called Manna but their café is by the entry and is open to all. I think I have only gone to the restaurant and not the café but I could be wrong. I'm heading back to the museum this month because !!! they are putting on a production of The Horse and His Boy and I'm excited to see how they do it. I recently listened to the whole Narnia series via audiobooks mainly on vacation drives over last summer but finished up the last few on my own at home with my toddler bopping about. 

Back to the comic - my pastor recently finished a sermon series going through Malachi and this comic sprang to mind. Tea was on my mind, as it tends to be. "Chai" is a common spicy tea blend made to be served with milk, and I was thinking about the name "Malachi" and how I once heard a kid pronounce it like "ma-LA-chee" then I thought "chai" and the comic happened.

Text:
A: What's your favorite tea at this Biblical café? 
B: The Mala-Chai.

Stage Isn't Set

 

My pastor was explaining a passage and said that the first few verses were setting the stage for the three-part sermon and this comic sprang to mind.  Jello can take a while to set - I have no clue how long a whole stage floor would take (obviously it would depend on the size of the stage and the temperature of the room - it would need to be fairly chilly). 

Text:
A: You covered the entire floor in JELLO?!?!?!
S: Don't go out there! The stage isn't ... set. :)

Run the Numbers

 

I honestly don't recall what sparked this comic, but I'd like to see it used in a business setting. I feel like it could be a conversation between an evil overlord/CEO and his chief underling/CFO. 

CEO: Run the numbers!
CFO: They refuse to run.
CEO: Then walk them!

Introvert New Year

 

Happy New Year!
New Year, new reminder that it's good to look through your social media and reconsider if you really know those people. Or if you really need those apps. Why not just turn your phone on Do Not Disturb? 

What is *deleting social media* - for some it could be trimming down your friends lists/follows, for others it could be deleting the app on your phone, for others it could be deactivating your accounts. For a select few, it could mean actually taking down the sites. You do you. 

Explanation: A popular song at New Years is "Auld Lang Syne" which starts with the text "Should Old Acquaintance be forgot" which I parody in this comic. Also, fun fact, there's a hymn that uses the tune of this song but with (some would say) better lyrics and I like it - we sing it at my church. 

Text:
Title: Introvert New Year
L: 🎵 Let old acquaintances be forgot and never brought to mind! 🎵
phone: *Deleting social media*