Thursday, May 6, 2021

Gaston in Valheim

Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?

So the game Mark is playing is Valheim and it's on his computer, not the Switch, but it was easier to draw him using the Switch rather than seated at a computer. It's a survival game so you have to build a house and boat, and hunt and gather food, and fight off the dwarves and trolls. When you hunt the deer, you can gather a hunting trophy from them sometimes which is their ANTLERS which I believe you can use in all of your decorating. There are birds in the game from which you can gather feathers - not sure if you can gather eggs which would allow you to make a proper breakfast every morning to help you get laaaaaaarge. Until you're roughly the size of a barge. Now that I look up the lyrics, I see the verse about hunting was just in the live-action version, not the animated original Disney version. Here's the live-action lyrics - they actually are a bit different but still carry the original theme strongly. 
And now I have that song stuck solidly in my head, but maybe you do too. 

Text:
M: *playing game which has deer hunting*
L: You should carefully aim for the liver. Then shoot from behind.
M: Is that fair?
L: I don't care.

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Surprise Birthday Party

 

Surely someone knows who this is for

Well that would be awkward. Happy Belated Birthday to my amazing husband! His birthday didn't fall on a Sunday, Tuesday, or Thursday this year, so he didn't get a spot-on shout out. But usually the birthday party doesn't fall on the day, so maybe this is ok. And the last comic was for our baby's due date, which actually this one would fit for that too. Oh well. Just keep scheduling, just keep scheduling... 

How many people would you need to invite to a party to have the best odds of having someone randomly be the birthday person? I feel like that'd be a cool statistics problem to figure out, but I don't feel like devoting the brainpower to it. Let me know if you do!

Text:
Title: Surprise Birthday Party
A: So, who's birthday is it?
B: *thinking*
C: *shrugging*

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Blowout Sale

Hah, blowout sale on diapers. Hehehe.

My mom sent me a picture of an item in Cabela's and I saw the End of Season Blowout Sale sign in the background of the photo and that's how we got to this comic (for the unaware, Pampers is a diaper brand). If you don't know why a diaper brand having a blowout sale is funny, you are probably more mature than me. Ask any parent of a young child to explain this comic to you. Also, not sure when 'end of season' is for diapers...

My kiddo's due date is today, so yes this comic is a scheduled post because who knows when this kid will decide to make an appearance. This is also a warning that there's a possibility that the frequency of comics could change as I adjust to life with a newborn. I hear they're a lot of work. My kid has been tracking large so there's a decent change we will have already met our child when this posts (I hear only a small percentage of kids are born on their due date). I'm trying to write up all the comics in my backlog and schedule them to hold me over for a bit, as my sleep schedule will suffer and nobody wants to write things while cranky. 

Text:
M: Cabela's is having an End of Season Blowout Sale.
L: I wonder if Pampers will have one, too....

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Degeneration

 

Amillennials might not like this?

Oh those youths. This is in honor of those doing their senior project, I feel like they could be the next generation but I honestly don't know where those breaks are. According to Wikipedia, yeah the generation following mine would include current college seniors (and high school ones too). Good luck anyways on your senior projects! I'm a Millennial (not to be confused with amillennial), which apparently has two 'n's in it. Who knew, not me. I should remake this comic. Ok, it's good now. I feel every generation thinks the following one is the Degeneration. Talking about the next generation has me thinking about Star Trek. Post-Millennials is referencing a belief about the end times timeline - there are many strong opinions on when the Millennium will happen and I'm still surprised that there's two 'n's in there. 

Text:
M: What do you call the generation after us? Are they Post-Millennials?
L: Degeneration.

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Internet of Things State of Security

Get your things off the internet

My talented little brother sent me the "S in IoT" phrase and linked the article mentioned. This same brother, when I sent him this article about the Mars Bar Rover, responded with "the future is here, and it's vaguely disappointing." Also, this same brother is a senior down at PCC and if you're also at PCC (how did you find my blog?) you should go to his Software Engineering Expo which is this week! Go find the info, I'm sure it's all over campus (or there's probably a poster in the AC lobby). Back in my day we made a super cool video and they played it in chapel or student body which was cool. 

To explain the comic, IoT stands for Internet of Things and references how so many smart items are now able to connect to the internet but are not at all secure so bad people can do unfortunate things via these items (hence there is no 'S' in the acronym 'IoT'). When in doubt, don't put it on or allow it to connect to the internet. We had to shop specifically for a baby monitor that just communicated from the camera to the tablet, no internet needed. I have no desire to have internet cameras in my house. If you do have IoT items, please change the default passwords to something secure (you can tape it to the item since those trying to hack in shouldn't be in your house, if they are then you have bigger issues). 

Text:
La: Did you hear about the casino that was hacked via their fish tank's smart thermometer?
Lu: Well, the "S" in "IoT" stands for "security."

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Ode to Rogganart

 

So good, you just gotta write some prose

If I try, I'm sure I could make a haiku about their amazing pastries, but at this time I've just made a quick little poem. Roggenart is an excellent European-style bakery and bistro that's nearby. We like to go there for breakfast and then go to a park (when the weather is nice) to enjoy our babkas and brioches and danishes or whatever has struck our fancy that morning. Everything there is super tasty and the staff is really nice. They have indoor seating and outdoor covered seating, which is nice on not-so-nice days when the park isn't a great option. To be fair, I also like American donuts, specifically the fresh kind from local small shops like the Donut Shack or down at the beach Duck Donuts or Sandy Pony, but there is just something super special about freshly baked buttery, fruity, chocolatey pastries. 

Text:
Title: Ode to Roggenart
"American donuts are very tasty
But you can't go wrong with a European pastry"

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Stamina Wheel

 

I need some Endura carrots

We went out shopping one Saturday to a few stores and wow, I was really worn out at the end. It should not have been that tiring but it was due to me carrying around an extra 25lbs or so and also getting my nutrients leached out of me. The stamina wheel is a mechanism in many video games, I know it from Legend of Zelda, which shows your character's endurance level. It usually decreases when you do something strenuous like climbing a wall or using fancy fighting moves. 

Text:
M: You seem worn out after our shopping trip.
L: My stamina wheel is very small in the last month of pregnancy.

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Bath Salts

Bubble baths are nice and bath salt are also nice

This is referencing that event back in 2012 when a Florida man was attacking people and somehow he was affected by bath salts to do so. I never looked too much into it because it sounded gross and for the same reason, I'm not linking any articles on that event. You can look it up if you so choose. Well actually I just looked it up a little more and Today I Learned 'bath salts' is a term for a street drug which resembles Epsom salts. The bath salts we got are the top ones from this list - they aim to recreate a visit to the hot springs and they do make a relaxing experience. We have been to hot springs once (in Canada) and it was a nice time. We bought water shoes for the adventure but haven't used them since. 

Text:
M: I bought some fancy bath salts but the packaging is all in Japanese - do I put in a whole packet?
L: We don't live in Florida so it should be fine?

Sunday, April 18, 2021

80's Fashion

 

So true, the colors were quite awful

I forget what prompted this conversation, but I agree with my husband here in that all those florescent colors and baggy, plastic-like material was a bad plan to begin with. I think Back to the Future Part II (but really the whole series to an extent) really embodies this. It's a classic movie, but wow the fashion or lack thereof was rather astounding. As this slideshow shows, it wasn't all bad but most of it was :)

Text:
L: Describe 80's fashion -
M: We want to be like the future, but ugly.

Thursday, April 15, 2021

How to Keep a Secret

Can you keep a secret? YES! So can we :)

So far we have kept the gender (and name) of our soon-to-be-born kiddo a secret, with the due date quickly approaching we only have a little longer to keep it hidden. I know we have slipped up a few times but I don't think people have noticed (I think one person did but that individual seems to be keeping it a secret which is very nice). 

Is this a hypothetical conversation between my mom and my husband? Perhaps :) 

Text:
L: Why won't you tell us the gender of your soon-to-be-born child???
M: Can you keep a secret?
L: YES!!!
M: So can we :) 

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Happy Little JUnit Test

Woman saying "your JUnit test passes no matter the input" with man replying "it's a happy test!"

 My husband and I were talking about testing and this scenario came to mind. The purpose of a JUnit test is to test a small area of your code. It should only pass if the code is doing what it is suppose to be doing - you should be able to change the input and see the test fail. Then you can design extra tests to verify that giving wrong or garbage input throws the expected exception. But if your happy path test passes no matter what you input, that's not really doing anything for you. 

Text:
L: Your JUnit test is useless - it never fails, no matter the input.
C: It's a happy test!

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Al Dente Chicken

Waiter asking "How would you like your chicken cooked?" Patron replies, "Al dente?"

This one time, Mark and I were out for dinner and I ordered steak and he ordered chicken and the waiter asked me how I wanted my steak done so I told him, but then he asked Mark how he wanted his chicken done and Mark was not prepared to answer. I think he said 'all the way?' but I think at that point the waiter realized his mistake and probably cringed for the rest of the night. I don't even want to know what al dente chicken would be - apparently it means 'firm to the bite' which would probably mean very overcooked chicken, or possibly burnt? You don't want harden chicken.

Text:
W: How do you like your chicken cooked?
M: Al dente?

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Never Fully Dressed Without A

Little Orphan Annie singing "You're never fully dressed without a -" "MASK!" yelled by Doctor Fauci, waving many masks around

 I'm sure someone else has done this already but I don't recall what got this song in my head then I just needed to get it comic'd out. Yes, that is Little Orphan Annie from the musical, "Little Orphan Annie." It has been a while since I watched it, I think the last time was a live performance by a high school group but it was several years ago. We had the Carol Burnett version on VHS growing up so that's the one I'm most familiar with. It would be rather different if Annie was adopted by Fauci, I feel like there's a pandemic variant (haha, maybe not the best wording) that could be made with that idea. 

I thought about drawing cute designs on the masks but that was quickly determined to be too tedious. 

Annie is singing without a mask, I feel like the comic needs a disclaimer like commercials have about 'closed course' or 'filmed responsibly' or whatever they're saying now. 

Text:
Annie: (singing) You're never fully dressed without a -
Dr. Fauci: MASK!!! *with two handfuls of masks, wearing two masks and a face shield*

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Pick Your Battles Part 2

 

Why choose a hill to die on?

This is a direct response to an earlier comic about picking too many battles. You can go too far in either direction. Clearly. But some days you just don't feel like picking a hill to die on. When in doubt, just crochet :) No dying on hills needed. But standing for nothing means falling for everything? So limit your selection of battles wisely.

Text:
A:  Pick your battles!
B: *thinking*
A: No, wait....
B: *crosses arms, looking at the items symbolizing battles*
A: Take at least one!
B: *walking away with none*

Sunday, April 4, 2021

Hot and Cross Buns

 

Battle of the Breakfasts?

Happy Resurrection Day! Hot cross buns are a classic Easter food and I like them as long as they don't have raisins in them (many of them do). I'm just not a fan of raisins in my bread. I know many people like them like that and I will leave them to them and just have a donut. Because if you get the good donuts, like from the Donut Shack near my dentist, they are just amazing. I wonder if the European bakery near me will have hot cross buns in their lineup around Easter time. They just added brioche sticky buns and brioche cinnamon buns, and both are amazing. 

Text:
Donut 1: Look out - the buns are hot and cross.
Donut 2: *startled!* 
Hot Cross Buns: *steaming angrily* 

Thursday, April 1, 2021

Easter Egg Painting

How do you get the egg out of its shell?

 I thought of this last year and placed it in a place to find it in time for this Easter! I'm quite happy with my organizational skills. Usually I put the holiday ones in a safe place and only find them after the given holiday. That's not the most helpful. The craft is a mash-up of two recipes - clearly the one is deviled eggs but the other is where you take a raw egg, poke the holes, blow it out, then you can use the guts for scrambled eggs or whatever while you have the whole egg shell to paint beautifully. You can't hard boil a shell-less egg - the closest thing I can think of would be poaching, which I've never done. 

Text:
L: So we can hard boil the eggs, poke a pin hole in the top and bottom, blow the egg out while saving the shell, then I can paint the shells while you make deviled eggs!
M: Hang on...

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

No Questions

 

I usually think this when the situation arises in a meeting

Well, my corporate comics are drawing to a close, as my last day is on Friday. I'm sure I'll still think of some, since I've been in the workforce for a decade and have plenty of friends still in the workforce, but there will probably be more mom-themed ones in the future. But related to this comic, I have been in many meetings where someone asks to ask a question and I do kind of dream about just shutting them down. But that would not be good for team communication or harmony. But it would be memorable.

Text:
Title: Bold Move
R: Can I ask a question?
L: No.
R: ...
L: The next agenda item is xyz...

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Two Shakes of a Lambs Tail

 

I need to look up what this odd saying means

Happy Passover to those who celebrate - I thought a lamb comic would be appropriate. I am eternally grateful to the Perfect Lamb, Who sacrificed Himself for my redemption! 
What does this phrase mean? I guess lambs shake their tails quickly. Maybe they're twitchy? I haven't observed lambs much, I really only see them at the 4-H section of the local County Fair (and I'm not interested enough to look up a video on YouTube). And I'm more interested in looking at the goats weird eyes (they have rectangular pupils!!! Why???) or the emus if they happen to have any (sometimes they do!). And now that I think about it, I am not sure they even have lambs at the Fair - they might just have full grown sheep. Maybe we'll have the Fair this year and I can report back if I see how fast a lamb tail shake lasts.

Text:
A: How quickly can we get there?
B: *raises hand*
Lamb: Stop shaking my tail!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Misusing Slang

 

You have to know how to use the terms to use them so incorrectly

This one is along the same lines as a previous comic, but language has evolved so there's more slang to misuse! You have to know how to use the terms properly to get the maximum cringe, stringing together as many terms as you can! A quote from Luke Skywalker comes to mind - "Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong." Maybe I'll make a future comic with him in it, responding to the person misusing slang. But this comic here came to mind when I was visiting my parents and I think it was my dad who asked what TikTok was. I don't have (and don't desire to have) the app, but I showed him a clip from Pinterest of someone crocheting a bubble bee as an example of what a TikTok is. 

Text:
M: Yes, go TikTok those hashtags.
C: *cringe*

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Care-anoia

 

A new term for helicopter parenting

My mother-in-law inspired this comic, and also created this word. The closest I can quickly find is "caranoia" which has an entry in Urban Dictionary, but that's for a fear of your crappy car dying on you. "Care-anoia" was explained to me as very similar to helicopter parenting, but more tyrannical than coddling. Hence, the rule for everything - no need for asking permission for things since you know they'll just say no. 

Text:
N: My mom has a rule for everything - she calls it "care-anoia."
F: Yeah, most people would call that "helicopter parenting."

Sunday, March 21, 2021

Home-made Boba

Bubble Tea is not made with soap

So this one time, someone other than me in my household hand-washed some mugs but didn't fully rinse them. And then said mugs were used when tea was made. And then this comic happened. The bubbles weren't floating out of the mug, as that would be excessive, but they were all around the top of the tea. 

I have tried bubble tea from the mall, properly made, and I didn't like it. The texture grossed me out. My biggest memory of boba was this one time at Kung Fu Tea in Columbia, we had ordered and everything was good so we were leaving and there was a family in front of us also leaving. The mom was holding the kid's drink, he was maybe 4 years old, and she was explaining he could have his drink once they got to the car, which seems like a reasonable parameter. However, the child was not cool with that and was melting down and screaming "I WANT MY BOBA!!!" And now that's what Mark and I think (and usually say) whenever bubble tea is discussed.

Text:
M: Why does my tea taste like soap?
L: Home-made bubble tea!

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Ticking Off Your Uncle

 

I honestly don't know what she actually said

We were visiting family and sitting around the table when a niece ran by who had been previously playing with my brother. When asked where said uncle was, this reply was given. We are fairly sure this is not what she said since she wouldn't phrase things in this way, but I don't know what she was trying to say. I mean, this fit. The nieces had been climbing all over him and chasing him around and having him chase them around so he was in need of a break. 

Text:
L: Where is Uncle Noah?
E: He wants to take a break but we are ticking him off.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Plague Doctor

I get how it could be confusing

 In the live-action Beauty and the Beast that came out a few years ago, there is a flash-back to Belle's childhood which was apparently during The Plague because there's a plague doctor shown. My niece had a misconception about this character but I didn't correct her. On a similar note, I've seen plenty of crochet patterns for making little plague doctors - I have not made one because that's just creepy. But it would be a good memento of 2020. Or rather, 2020 and beyond since we're well into 2021 currently. 

Text:
E: I know about the Plague - that's the name of the doctor in Beauty and the Beast, with the bird beak mask.
L: Sure, we'll go with that. 

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Dry Sound Bar

No sound bars in a dry household

HAPPY PI DAY! I should make a pie. 
My brother-in-law suggested we install a sound bar in our basement, which is where our tv and such are, and something like this conversation happened.
In our previous house, the basement had a dry bar which was totally unused by us since (a) no alcohol and (b) it didn't make sense to bring cups/beverages/etc downstairs just to bring everything back upstairs. We thought about putting a mini-fridge in there but it would still have the issue of bringing stuff up and down and I didn't like throwing away food wrappers in the basement because that would attract mice. But it turned out we didn't have a mouse problem due to the snakes. We eventually tore out the dry bar, put a rug down to cover the uneven flooring (tiled behind the bar, bare concrete under the bar, then carpet in the rest of the room), and used that corner for my home office. It was a much better use of the space. 

Text:
N: You should install a sound bar in your entertainment center.
L: No, this is a dry household. 

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Racial Relations

 

Guys, we need to have a big powwow over racial relations.

The inspirer of this comic has been censored out (hence the black rectangle) and their appearance changed because I think it sounded like something that could be overheard from a clueless manager-type person, maybe in a sitcom like "The Office" or similar. But it was in fact a casual, non-work conversation. Sometimes people just set themselves up, no prompting needed. I don't recall the context of this snippet, because I had zoned out of the conversation.
Using a cultural term in a flippant manner when talking about race relations is not a good idea. I don't want to get overly political with this one, I just heard the conversation and thought it could be captured by comic. I feel like The New Yorker or Readers Digest could have a comic similar to this one, but I haven't seen one from them. 

Text:
B: Guys, we need to have a big powwow over racial relations.
C: *facepalm*

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Welcome Hybrid Students

 

This is what I think of when I see the school signs

In Maryland, public schools opened in March in hybrid mode. I saw a school sign that was welcoming hybrid students, and this is what came into my mind. Wings, tails, antlers, satyr, thought about adding a mermaid after the fact but with this already drawn up, decided to just leave it with the selection I had. Thought about mixing in some non-hybrid children, but they aren't getting the welcome here so that wasn't needed. Could have tried to make a minotaur, but that would have been difficult.

The meaning of 'hybrid students' is that the kids have some school days in the school building and other school days are learn from home. Distance learning? Whatever the term is. 

Text:
Teacher: Welcome, hybrid students!
Students: one has wings, next has a tail, next has antlers, and the last one is a satyr with little horns and goat legs.

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Lovely Breakfast

 

A window into an early morning conversation in my household


For Valentine's, Cheerios made a bunch of their cereals in a mix of heart shaped and the regular circles. We got a double box from Costco of Honey Nut Cheerios so we will have lovely cereal for quite a while. It all tastes the same of course, it's just a happy little change to brighten the morning. My amazing husband, after this conversation, paid attention to his cereal and noted the loveliness. 

The cereal in question:

Text:
L: We are going to have a lovely breakfast!
M: I think we just have cereal.
L: It's a lovely cereal!
M: I think we just have Cheerios.
L: ...They are heart shaped.
M: *confused*

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Libertarian vs Librarian

 

The Dewey Decimal System is like a secret code

March 4th is known as "Do Something Day" since it sounds like "march forth" but in my childhood home it is known as HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD because, well, that's not hard to figure out. 
Another one about libertarians! I have nothing against the political party - their name just lends itself to puns of miscommunication. Maybe I should try to think up some about other political parties. I know the Dewey Decimal System isn't obsolete but it's been sooooo long since I've set foot in a library with the lockdowns and the move to audio books which can be downloaded through the app. And also streaming - don't need to borrow TV series anymore except not all are available in my streams of choice so maybe once things open up again I could check out what they have in stock. I'm pretty sure I learned the DDS back in elementary school, and I can find my way around in a library but that's mainly due to the signs with words rather than looking at the number codes. 

Text:
A: I'm a libertarian.
B: So you know the Dewey Decimal System?
A: ... No. 

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Politics vs Astrology

 

Libertarian vs Aquarius


I think 'libertarian' sounds like an astrological sign, but clearly I'm thinking of libra or something like that. I've never followed astrology but I do think astronomy is cool because SPAAAAAAAAAAACE is so vast and there's so much out there. Also star-gazing is amazing but you can't do it around where I am - too close to cities. But I remember going up to visit my uncle in Maine and us taking the boat out at night to the middle of the lake and just being amazed at the number of stars. Also, we visited Dark Sky Preserves out in California (Joshua Tree) and Utah (Canyonlands) and both places were really awe-inspiring at night (and in the day too, the national parks are really interesting to explore).

Text:
A: I'm a libertarian.
B: I'm an aquarius? 

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Less with Moore

This year, let's do less with Moore

We've made it to the end of February! A special thanks to my brother-in-law who came up with this comic - I had heard of Beth Moore before but I still don't know much about her and would not have come up with this pun situation on my own. But her name really lends itself to such puns. She has two kids - that's fewer Moores than I expected. Now trying to think up a play on 'the Moore the merrier' but my brain is done for the day so I'll just lay that out there for you all to work on. 

Text:
Title: Southern Baptist Convention
A: This year, let's do less with Moore.

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Birdy Names for Children

Some birds are allowed as human names, others.... not so much

This comic is related to one from earlier. It is probably becoming more clear, but yes my favorite bird is the Emu. Why? It's just one of those odd animals and I think they're cool. We saw the emu getting fed at a zoo once and the zookeeper was like 'eat your greens!' because the emu were just picking through their feed bins to get the apple pieces and throwing the salad leaves on the ground. Kinda reminded me of that scene from Napoleon Dynamite where he's feeding Tina the llama. 
The plural of emu is either emus or emu, both are accepted.
Also, have you heard of the Great Emu War?! How many bird breeds can say they won a war again human aggressors? Well, many birds died but the thing is the military gave up on trying to cull the herds. Also the bounty system put in place actually had people breeding emu to collect the bounty instead of hunting wild emu like intended, so there was that. 
One final thought on emu, some people keep them as livestock, like chickens or ducks! That's an adventurous backyard poultry project. But their eggs weigh a pound! And are very pretty. Good Mythical Morning did a segment on exotic eggs and yes, you can hard boil an emu egg. 

Explanation: It is implied that the name would be one from the comic linked above, namely (hah) Robin or Jay or Wren, whereas of course the name is Emu because Emus are awesome. 

Text:
D: Do you have a name picked out for your little one?
L: Yep, we're naming our kid after my favorite bird.
D: How sweet!
L: Little Emu is gonna do great things.

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Gender Neutral German Name

A nice international name?

A conversation which might have happened after a sneeze. Now I want to know if that word is truly gender neutral, since many words in other languages have gender (like table in Spanish is 'mesa' which is feminine). Per this site it is feminine, so I guess it's not truly neutral. But either way, it would not be a good name for a child. Maybe for a cat with allergies. Scratch that (haha), it would be an excellent name for a cat with allergies. Good luck with spelling that name on any forms though. I double-checked the spelling to ensure I didn't make a typo in the comic. 

Text:
L: We could name our kid Gesundheit - it's gender neutral.
M: Well, I agree with the second half of that. 

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Names Starting with E

 

One of these names is not like the others

One of these names is not like the others :) I couldn't resist adding my favorite bird into the lineup. 
My friend's due date is today and she has already shared the name of her kiddo so is not in need of any suggestions but I figured it wouldn't hurt to do another short series on names. 

To explain the comic, the first person has a picture of her children (3 kids and a dog). The second person thinks Emu is the dog since it's not a normal human name while the others are. The first person corrects the misinterpretation by saying Emmett is the dog, which means her kids are named Ella, Emma, and Emu. 

Text:
A: Here's a picture of my children - Ella, Emma, Emu, and Emmett. 
B: WHAT?! Oh, three kids and a dog, nice.
A: Yeah, Emmett's a good dog. 

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Sam With the Green Eggs

Not every Sam will offer you green eggs and ham

 Many kids like Doctor Seuss and also many kids make unexpected connections. I have happy memories of reading Dr. Seuss books as a kid and also memorizing at least one for a Reader's Theatre (I wasn't doing the performing - my sister was - but I had to sit through all the rehearsals and ended up memorizing all their parts). And there's a game that would be played at my church's VBS called 'Cat in the Hat' which was kind of like musical chairs but instead of music, the leader would read the book 'The Cat in the Hat' and when certain words were said, kids would have to move and a chair would be removed. But helping with that game enough times got me to memorize at least the beginning of that book. 

Text:
A: And this is Uncle Lucas' friend Sam.
S: Hi!
E: I don't want green eggs.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

CoVid Screening for Telehealth Visit

Viruses can be computer transmitted

 I have to complete a CoVid screening before any in-person doctor appointments and it's just a short questionnaire about do I have it, am I waiting to know if I have it, do I live with someone who has it, etc... But I was going for a telehealth visit and it said I needed to fill out a questionnaire and I thought up this comic because that'd just be ridiculous but the questionnaire was actually about my health and family health pertaining to the visit so it was not ridiculous. But I still made a comic about my first impression. Also my doctor couldn't figure out the telehealth system so he ended up just calling me which worked fine because it was a consult and you can do that over the phone, no extra technology needed. 

Text:
L: I have a virtual visit with my doctor today.
M: Have you completed the CoVid screening?
L: Right, because computers can transmit viruses. 

Sunday, February 14, 2021

From the Bottom of My Heart

 

Happy Valentine's Day from the bottom of my heart

Sometimes you just want to draw things literally - except the heart is the cartoony type because (a) this is a cartoon/comic and (b) anatomical hearts are difficult to draw and look weird. Actually drawing any internal organ is either difficult or ambiguous since most people don't know what internal organs look like. But if you play the game Organ Attack you could learn! Also the author of that game has a comic and is very good at drawing cute internal organs. 

Text:
*Heart with text in the bottom of it*: Happy Valentine's Day
Subtitle: from the bottom of my heart

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Peanuts Gallery

 Nobody wants to hear from the Peanuts Gallery

I did my best to draw Charles Schulz's characters, and here they are in my style (a little more filled out since they just didn't work as stick figures). Do you know where the term 'peanut gallery' originates? If you clicked the link, you now know! It apparently is debated if the comic strip's name is related to the popular phrase. I always liked reading the Sunday comics in the paper, especially the Peanuts strip. 

Text:
C: Nobody wants our comments.
P: They tell us to be quiet.
S: *sad face*

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Unscented Deodorant

 

Scentless doesn't make scents

I actually prefer unscented with most things because I like to be more neutral, and also just everything wants to have its own scent from laundry detergents to soaps and hygiene items. No need to layer on all those flavors, just stick to like one and call it good. Also, many people are irritated by the fake scents to when I do go with scented, I like to find ones that use essential oils or other natural means rather than fabricated scents. It's an uphill battle though with reading lots of labels. 

Text:
A: Who uses unscented deodorant? That just... doesn't make scents :) 
B: *facepalm*

Sunday, February 7, 2021

In The Yes

 

Being in the yes means you're not in the know

I don't recall what sparked this one but I think it was just hearing someone talk about being in the know and since 'know' and 'no' sound the same, this comic happened. Not sure if I'll get around to using this in an actual conversation but you are very welcome to do so and tell me about the success of it. 

Also, Happy Birthday to my niece and Happy belated Birthday to my brother-in-law!

Text:
A: He's in the yes.
B: What??
A: It means he's not in the know. 

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Carnivorous Dessert

 Mousse is tasty


Mousse looks like 'mouse' but sounds like 'moose' so that's just confusing. I don't remember when I thought up this pun but I'm probably not the first person to do so. I think I have a similar comic from a while ago (thought up at my previous job) - let me look for it. Here it is! When I was last in CT, my grandmother made an amazing chocolate mousse and it was so tasty (but everything she makes is tasty). I didn't eat all of my serving because I realized even with a dairy pill, it was still loaded with lactose and I didn't want to get ill right before my return trip home. But it was super tasty. 

Text:
L: What is a carnivore's favorite dessert?
M: Do they even eat dessert?
L: MOUSSE!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Movie Time

 

Time for the movie, but not time to pick the movie

Happy February to all! Happy Birthday to those born in this month, like my father-in-law, nephew, a few nieces, cousin, uncle, and the list really does go on - it's a popular month for birthdays!

This was an actual discussion from an evening recently. I believe we settled on a new TV series, possibly this is when we found Forged in Fire which, while Netflix only has one season and it's not the first and they start with a recap two-part champion episode so that was confusing, we have enjoyed watching it. Watching crafty people do their thing is enjoyable, even if one of the blacksmiths took a dig at crocheter. 

Text:
M: It's only 8pm - we have time for a movie!
L: But we don't have time to PICK a movie!
M: Yeah...

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Everything Bagels are the Best

Liking everything doesn't mean liking everything

My sister got me the famous EBTB seasoning as part of my Christmas gift, and it is AMAZING because everything bagels are my favorite and now I can have everything toast and everything anything! It seems fairly easy to make on your own if you're not up to swinging by Trader Joe's for it. And people have lists of what it's good on, which is a wide variety of things! 

Disclaimer: This one is based on a conversation and not an actual scenario because my Mark knows me better that this (I do like blueberry bagels but everything ones are my favorite). Chocolate chip bagels served warm are also really good - I got those a lot during my Panera days in college. But I don't think chocolate and everything seasoning is a good mix. 

Text:
L: Why did you get me a blueberry bagel? I asked for - 
M: You said you liked everything so I just picked one at random.

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Hair Styles By My Brother

Or lack thereof

 A discussion on hairstyles happened while I visited family and this lovely image was imagined. I hope this was never a thing but I'm a little curious yet scared to look it up. Well, I did not make it through this article but apparently the dual party look was a thing. Ew. Please don't do that.

Text:
N: I'd like a mohawk in the front, and a mullet in the back.
L: So a party in the front, and a different party in the back? 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Faxing Phones

Classic modem noise

Happy almost Birthday to my Brother! (not the one in this comic)
We had a conversation about printing out emails and somehow it devolved into a discussion on fax machines and this interaction happened between my brother and mom. And I just went down a rabbit hole trying to find a good onomatopoeia for that sound and I'm pretty sure that xkcd had it in a mouse-over for a comic but I cannot find it. The closest I found is: urrrr EEEE urrr NNNGGGG CRRRRcrrrr KEEEEEEE grrr nnnnnng Ah, the sound of the 90's. Reminds me of playing games off a floppy disc. 

Text:
Li: You have a fax machine on your phone?!?
Lu: ... Yes, Mom. *modem noise*

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Lord of the Rings OSHA

Clearly we don't need any railings

My brother had the idea to watch the Lord of the Rings over Christmas break, and it had been a while since I had last seen them. It was nice to rewatch them - they are still great movies after all these years. They went all out on the set designs with the lofty ceilings and the arching walkways and somehow little to no railings. Everyone must have such good balance. 

I had to look it up since I knew the initials but not what they actually stood for - OSHA is the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

Text:
Title: Watching Lord of the Rings
L: Middle Earth has no OSHA.
M: OSHA does not inspect after orcs overrun the place. 

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Addictive Non-Medicinal Drugs

Can I get a prescription for my sugar or caffeine?

An actual conversation from the Christmas holiday. Some members (one member) of my family is anti-sugar but pro-caffeine. I think removing excess sugar is always a good goal, and I should probably watch how much I consume since we still have German Christmas cookies from Aldi's in the house. But they are so tasty. Also, caffeine is helpful to some extent but can easily be overdone. Should watch that consumption as well. 

Text:
L: Sugar is a drug! Remove it from your diet!
M: So is caffeine.
L: *gasp of HORROR*

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Chipping Chips

Chip away at that bag of chips

I really like potatoes. Also, plain potato chips (the wavy kind) are my favorite - just potato, salt, and oil. Probably shouldn't chip away at a whole Costco-sized bag of chips by your lonesome self - it would be too easy to overdo it and then you might not want chips anymore and that'd be sad. We use to eat jello a lot until we overdid it one night and yeah, we took a break for a few years. We are back to liking jello, especially a Dr. Pepper jello salad that I found in a church fellowship cookbook from back in the day (I don't put the nuts or cream cheese in it, just jello, fruit, and soda). Also, crisps is just the British way to say chips (because they think chips are fries) - I didn't want to repeat 'chips' in the comic (do you see the name on the bag? It's "Ripples for Days").

Text:
A: It's gonna take you forever to finish that bag of Costco potato crisps.
B: Well, I'm chipping away at it.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Dessert at Grandma's House

So much cake

True Story, my grandparents are amazing and my Grandma does indeed have back-up desserts in case the first course is finished. Everything she makes is amazing and the comic just didn't do the mousse justice because when I tried to add whipped topping, it just looked like the cake had holes in it. And the spare dessert was pulled from the freezer because my Grandma bakes ahead of time and freezes for when it's needed, so everything's home made still, just some things are not made that day. And she has family over so much, the extras don't stay in the freezer that long. 

Text:
H: And in case we finish this chocolate mousse, I've pulled a carrot cake from the freezer.
M: I love going to Grandma's house!

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Train of Thought Derailment

 

There were no survivors

This is what happens sometimes. Or a lot of times. Once the train hops off the tracks, there's no getting it back on. Might as well just move on to another topic. Also, I like cool socks - totally worth derailing a thought train over them. I got some socks for Christmas which have dinosaurs wearing Santa hats - I like them but it's no longer the season for them. 

Text:
A: What we need to do is - oh, I like your socks!
B: Cool... Where is your previous train of thought?
A: Umm... Derailed? No survivors.