All the Milk Cows

 

This is another throwback comic, from when Robin was a bit younger and didn't understand the rhyming part of the goodbye pairings. It should be "See you later, alligator! Take a bow, milk cow! Out the door, dinosaur! Wave goodbye, butterfly!" and so on. There's a whole song about them. But it still is cute how kids process things. 

Text:
R: See you later, milk cow! Take a bow, milk cow! Out the door, milk cow! Wave goodbye, milk cow!
L: The alligator, dinosaur, and butterfly feel left out, my girl. 

Yesterday's Pets

Pet stores are like the free zoo for kiddos. There was a pet store (Today's Pets) in a shopping strip near me where we would browse before getting groceries. It is now a sushi place and I just think that's ironic, since the pet store had a long wall covered in fish tanks. I wonder if they were able to repurpose any of the things from the previous occupants. I have not visited despite my curiosity and my desire to eat sushi. 

Text:
R: Can we go to the pet store?
L: That's not a pet store anymore. It's now ... oh, it's a sushi place. Hmmm.
Store sign: Today's Pets Kawa Sushi AYCE

No Snuggles Allowed

 

The mind of a child makes all sorts of connections that take me a minute to follow. Now that I think about it, my kids might think all sailors are pirates. We were watching Turning Pointe Ballet's Little Mermaid on YouTube, and my kids were calling Prince Eric's ship's captain the Pirate Captain. No amount of saying they are all sailors and that's just the captain could get them to realize that they were not pirates. 

Explanation: my kid hears "dictatorship" and thinks it's a type of boat (ship), and apparently only pirates are on boats. 

Text:
O: No snuggles allowed!
L: What kind of dictatorship is this?!?
O: ... We don't have a ship. We are not pirates. 

Counting

 

So in French, they count oddly. I don't know French, but I do know this. Actually I just looked it up (here) and they don't have specific numbers for 70 (“sixty-ten”), 80 (“four-twenties”), and 90 (“four-twenties-ten”)? So that's unique. But they do have a number for 30 (trente) however I think my comic's point still stands. Also this is an older comic that I took a while to draw - my kiddo knows how to count at least to one hundred so this is a throwback. 

Text:
L: 27, 28, 29 - what comes next?
R: Twenty-ten!
L: We are not French.

Rules of Parenthood Continued

 

You really start to understand lawyers when you're a parent and your kids are so very literal. I have had to refrain from snapping at my child when I realized he was technically doing what I said, just not in the way that I intended (the mind of a child is a bizarre place that does not understand figures of speech). The interaction that sparked this particular comic was my toddler trying to clean the sink with his toothbrush. When I told him not to use his toothbrush to clean the bathroom, he might have eyed his sister's toothbrush. But now that I think of it, my rule as listed in this comic does not prevent someone (Ori) from using someone else's (Robin's) toothbrush for bathroom cleaning. 

Text:
A: What new rules have arisen in your household this week?
L: We only brush our own teeth with our own toothbrush. 

Tootsie Rolls

 

The mind of a toddler is a wonderful place, full of new experiences and unfamiliar language idioms. 

Explanation: Would "tootsies" be toes, or toots (farts)? Neither is a good option. My kiddo calls toes "toesies" as in "I didn't want my toesies to touch the cold floor" and I think it's adorable. 

Text:
O: What is this?
L: A Tootsie Roll.
O: What is it's flavor?
M: Tootsies. 

Taco Dinner

 

Parenthood is a wild ride. Also, it's all about rebranding. Oh, you don't like chili? Well no worries, we are just having meaty beans. (credit to my friends Jen and Eric for that one) My little guy used to say he didn't like whatever was offered, no matter what it was or how much he actually liked it. He now accepts/requests items and then eats one bite, says it's good, and goes no further. 

Text:
L: We're having tacos for dinner.
O: I don't like tacos!
L: I'll give you a brand new bouncy house if you can tell me what a taco is.
O: ... a tickle ball?
L: Don't complain about food you actually like. 

Rules of Parenthood

 

So true. So many oddly specific rules.

Text:
A: Is parenthood like you expected?
L: I expected to say "don't put your finger up your nose." I actually say "don't put your brother's toes up your nose." I then clarify "don't put your or other's toe(s) up your or other's nose."

Unexpected Red Rover

 

Happy 17 years to my husband! 💕
I don't recall the name the song as it was on a service-generated playlist, but I have not forgotten the song. Also thinking of "running into <someone's> arms" as Red Rover is quite context-changing. 

Explanation: Red Rover was a (terrible) game from my childhood where one team would link hands and call over a player from the other team, who would run at you full force and try to break through the line. 

Text:
Song: Come on and run into my arms
L: That's called clotheslining.
M: Unexpected Red Rover.

Means a Latte

 

True Story, the gas price fluctuated 50¢ between my last two fill-ups. Granted, the cheaper price was at a Buc-ee's so bulk discount and all that. But still, $5 is a latte. 

Explanation: "lot" and "latte" sound similar. $5 is an average price for a coffee (I assume, as I am a tea drinker). 

Text:
A: Why did you go to that gas station?
B: When getting ten gallons, it's $5 cheaper there. That might not seem like much, but it's actually a latte. *holding coffee*

Fat Singing Cows

 

Apparently "till the cows come home" is a phrase that means it'll take all day, while "till the fat lady sings" is a phrase that means the end of something. It alludes to an opera which ended with a powerful soprano number that required a well-built, large woman to sing it, hence it was over once the fat lady sang. So all that to say I think we both used these phrases correctly? 

Text:
M: When do the cows come home?
L: I think it's when the fat lady sings. 

Introversion from the Mouth of Babes

So we had a visiting family a few weeks ago at our church, and they had a kid around my youngest's age, and my kiddo did not extend the right hand of fellowship. He actually burst into tears when he saw a new kid in nursery and his buddy wasn't there. He did rally himself and parallel play with her there, but there was no friendship started that day. 

Text:
L: Did you meet a new friend in church nursery today?

O: No.

L: ...was there a new kid today?

O: Yes. :(

L: Oh, my little introvert.

O: *sobbing* NO MANNETTE!
L: I know, Buddy, Ma-Annette wasn't there today.

Special Mayo

 

I didn't know that my kid knew our pastor's name, since she usually refers to him as "Nathanael's dad" which is fair since she knows her friends more than their parents. Honestly, I never considered that the phrases "Pastor Cho" and "Trader Joe" have a similar cadence. (Her grandma has alpha-gal and the only mayo she knows is truly vegan is the TJ one.) The super confusing thing is that we had just had a church fellowship where the Chos brought a salad which contained mayo so I did have to think... but I realized what was going on before calling the Chos and asking for their mayo brand. 

Text:
R: You need to get Pastor Cho's mayo for the potato salad - it's the only one Grandma can have.
L: ... Trader Joe's mayo?
R: yes. 

Mr. Shark Time

 

So many variations of this game exist. I've heard it called Mr. Wolf or Mr. Fox as well. The name of the game is "What's the time, Mr. <insert animal>?" and play is simple (it shows up in at least one Bluey episode, "Shadowlands" and a Danny Go episode about Summer Time). One player has their back turned to everyone, everyone asks the question, the player gives a time, and everyone takes that many steps towards the player. At some point, the player answers "Dinner time!" and then it becomes a game of tag. 

Explanation: 24hr time is like 12hr time except it keeps counting up after noon, instead of resetting at one. Therefore twenty o'clock would be (20-12) 8pm. 

Text:
R: What time is it, Mr. Shark?
O: Twenty o'clock!
L: That's known as 8pm by many. 

Spring Disney

 

You never know when a Disney character could spring into a conversation. I have no clue how a spring Pluto feels, but probably happy? Pluto is a pretty happy character. As long as chipmunks aren't hiding in the Christmas tree.

Explanation: Daisy, Donald, and Pluto are all classic Disney characters. 

Text:
M: That was refreshing.
L: Are you feeling like a spring daisy? Or a spring Donald?
M: More like a spring Pluto.

Car Colors

There are so many shades of red with cars. I didn't have a way to work in Patriot Red (Mitsubishi) or Colorado Red (Jeep), but maybe someday.... 

Explanation: In the game DOTA2, the teams are called Radiant and Dire. Also there's something called  Ultra Kill (four kills in a short time window). 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
L: My Honda is Radiant Red.
DK: Not Dire Red?!
L: ... Tesla has ULTRA RED. 

Migraine Not Cure

 

Please do not attempt. So at my gym, there used to be two hot tubs but they changed one to be a cold plunge which is something I intend to do never. The tubs are next to each other and I had this idea. Ice and heat are recommended to alleviate migraines, but what part of your body gets which temperature? Everyone has an opinion about it. 

Text:
A: Did you know if you put your hands in the hot tub and feet in the cold plunge, you will either cure your migraine OR get kicked out of the gym?
B: ... what?
A: Yeah, the second option is way more likely. 

Sale Sale Sale

 

What do they call this where you're from? I kinda want to go to one and get a landscape painting for cheap and then paint a dinosaur into the picture and proudly hang it somewhere. 

Explanation: When you sell your old stuff on your property, it could be called a yard sale or a rummage sale or a garage sale. Possibly other names for it exist - please let me know if you know of any. 

Text:
M: There's a yard sale a few streets down from us.
L: Shall we go rummage about in someone's garage? 

Erranding

 

Some errands can be made in whatever vehicle is available. Others are not that flexible. I mean, I could make it work - but I've gone this long without filling a gas can and I'm not feeling the need to break my streak. And that just seems overly complicated when I can just take my car to the gas station. 

Text:
M: You can take my car for errands when I WFH (work from home), if you want to get used to how it drives.
L: Well, one of my errands is to get petrol in my car.
M: Ah, that would be difficult to do in my car. 

Overcooked Kitchen

 

So my spouse and I just finished playing Overcooked 2 and it was a journey. It was rather frustrating at times but overall very fun to play. You do need to be on the same wavelength and cooperate smoothly to get through it all. And there are a lot of bonus levels! The graphics are cute and the music is nice.

Explanation: in the game "Overcooked 2" (and also the original "Overcooked!"), you are set in a kitchen and have a bunch of orders to cook and fulfill. However, the kitchen is working against you in your endeavors. It's not how you would want a kitchen to be. But you do have specific tools on any given level, like a rotisserie cooker or massive wok, to cook the ingredients so you can assemble the final product. There are many points of failure, which do complicate things. 

Text:
M: We could get a rotisserie cooker for our kitchen.
L: And then! Sliding counters that move on an unknown timer! Conveyer belts that end in a trash can! Cutting boards totally unreachable from where you get ingredients!
M: No more "Overcooked!" for you!

Throwback Fourth

 Some patriotic ones from the archives:

Scrunchies

 

Bonus!

There is much to be said about 90's fashion. Much of it doesn't need to be said. HOWEVER my daughter has started using a scrunchie in her hair when she goes to bed and WOW her hair is so much tamer in the mornings. 

Text:
M: I have been told this is a scrunchie. They were very popular when your mom was a kid.
L: Had to hold back that perm somehow. 

Bonus:
L: Feels nicer than a banana clip.
M: How do those work?
L: I never learned.

Leave it on the Table

 

My child is serious about his morning milk consumption. He doesn't like the wait when he finishes his first cup and we have to get the carton from the fridge to refill it. He has a solution that eliminates this lag. His delivery brought to mind the classic trope of a person, down on their luck, seated at the bar telling the bartender to leave the bottle when their glass of alcohol is served.

Text:
O: I want milk, please.
M: Sure thing, buddy.
O: Can you leave it on the table?
L: "Leave the bottle, bartender."

Time Mismanagement

 

Such a struggle, being busy after lollygagging. I should complete my tasks before gagging on the lollies, but alas that is not how the story goes. 

Text:
M: How was your afternoon?
L: Super busy once I stopped lollygagging.

Toddler Goals

 

Of course this was loudly announced as I was dropping him off at the kid area in the gym. Where he had peed himself the day before. And thank you, girly, for the clarification. Yes, goals all 24hrs not just when the sun is up or whatever.

Text:
O: I will NOT pee my pants!
L: That is always the goal of the day.
R: And the goal of the night, too. 

Fascinating Transparency

 

Why would I ruin totally agreeable information by actually checking anything? That's like conflict of interest or something. And just to be clear, it does seem to calm a cough when I pop a whole clove in my mouth and just chill with it. This is, to be clear, the spice named clove that is used in spice cookies and such. This is not a clove of something like garlic. That would give totally different results, possibly? I don't think I could manage to suck on a whole clove of garlic to see if it clears up anything. 

Text:
L: I have been told - and have not researched in the slightest because I like this information - that sucking on a whole clove can stop a cough.
A: Fascinating transparency there. 

Throwing Food

 

Tales from Pre-K: name redacted to hide the one getting condemned. I was also informed that he tips chairs, as in when he sits in them he doesn't "keep all six feet on the ground" like I was informed to do as a child. My son thought the individual was really cool because he has the same name as a favorite uncle. You just never know what will stand out to a child. 

Text:
R: *redacted* is the boy who throws food.
L: We do not throw food.
O: Yeah, just gently throw.
R: We absolutely do not throw food at all.
O: Just gently throw.

No Mow May

 

My daughter notices when the grass gets too high (per her estimation) and she'll ask for scissors to go cut the offending blades. It's not an efficient system, but it does take up a lot of time which is usually the goal with summer activities for kids. 

Text:
A: Your lawn is getting rather tall.
B: No mow May!
A: We're halfway through June.
B: It's the sequel?

Baltering

 

Balter is an excellent word, even if spell-checker is making me doubt if it's a real word (it is archaic). It means to dance or tread clumsily. Modern usage has a joyous connotation, meaning you dance gracelessly but with great enjoyment.  

Text:
L: What's going on, Buddy?
O: I'm doing my thing! *balters about* *bonks into a wall* The thing is over.

Food Options

 

If you've ever questioned "why can't my partner just read my mind and know what I want?" then I have a solution for you: it's called verbal communication. Say what you need to say. One of the best pieces of marriage advice that I was given so many years ago was to keep the lines of communication constantly open. Don't say what you don't mean, and don't hide what you want known. For example, if you really would like an item for an upcoming gift giving occasion, send the exact link to your spouse with the title "potential gift" or something very clear like that. Don't just hope that they somehow know such an item exists and is desired. 

Text:
M: So, to which place would you like to go?
L: I'm fine with either as long as you pick the one I want. 

Horsey Video

 

More parental translating, like the last comic. It has become part of Ori's bedtime to watch "the horsey video!" which honestly is rather calming and peaceful and he's learning Greek mythology so that's something ("the rainbow lady is Iris!"). This section has centaurs and unicorns and pegasi as well as other mythological figures, but my kiddo has focused on the horse-like ones.
Fantasia made in on our list of low-peril movies (both the 1940's version and the 2000 version) with only minor edits, mainly we skipped the demon part at the end of the original because wow that gets intense. We also skipped the soundtrack personification part because my kids totally lost interest. I don't believe we skipped anything in the 2000 version. I should share a list of all the low-peril movies/shows we've found that are not terribly dull. It's a fine line - not intense but also something needs to happen. 

Text:
O: Watch the horsey video!
L: Pastoral Suite Part 5 from Fantasia, coming right up.

Silly Donkey Song

 

Happy early Birthday to my niece! I am blessed with many nieces and nephews, and tomorrow concludes this one's first trip around the sun. 

Oh, the many translations/connections you make when you're a parent. We went to the Disney On Ice Encanto/Frozen show earlier this year, and for the song "Surface Pressure" Luisa sang/skated about with a crew of backup dancers/skaters who were dressed as donkeys. My kids thought it was hilarious. They giggle every time the song plays because they're thinking of the ridiculous donkey skaters ("they should be on all fours, like Sven, not on two legs!") ((Sven was played by two skaters in a shared reindeer costume whereas the donkeys were all individual skaters)). I'm pretty sure most people don't think of "Surface Pressure" as a silly donkey song. 

Side-note, did you know that Luisa is the middle child??? I totally thought she was the oldest. Isabella (must be said with all the disgust Mirabel can muster) is the oldest, while Mirabel is clearly the youngest. You learn something new every time you google a random thing to spell-check your comics. (I couldn't remember if her name was Louisa or Luisa). 

Text:
R&O: Silly Donkey Song!!!
L: Uhhhh *remembers Disney on Ice Encanto* right, "Surface Pressure." 

Strong Like Luisa

 

Happy Birthday to my niece! I just realized her birthday is 6/7, like the meme thing.

We have the HÄGERNÄS set from Ikea and it's super lightweight which works great for chairs that the kids can push in and out without struggling. Sadly the table received many dents from my baby/toddler smacking her cup into it, so it was retired to the front room to be used as a printer and spare peripherals table, but the chairs are still in use at my kids' desks (which I got from Buy Nothing but didn't come with chairs). 

My kids are in the "low to no peril" stage of watching movies, and that severely limits our options, but Encanto is a win in that category. The stress is familial relations, which kinda goes over the heads of my kiddos, and there's no big scary bad guy. As far as role models go, Luisa is a pretty good one. 

Text:
O: I'm just like Luisa! *lifting up chair*
L: Impressive, however that is very lightweight pine.

Stars On Ice: Ilia

 

We had a wonderful time at Stars On Ice, and there was one performer (Jason Brown) who did an amazing "You Ain't Never Had A Friend Like Me" routine that involved many jump-splits, and my child really liked that move and wanted other performers to do it. Namely, he was calling out his request when Ilia Malinin, who's famously the only person to land a quad Axel and also one of the first to add backflips to his routines one that was allowed again, was doing his routine (which involved his famous moves, which are not jump splits). 

Text:
O: Do a jump split!!!
L: Ilia is known for several impressive moves, and that is not one of them.

Stars On Ice: Isabeau

 

I introduced my kids to famous ice skaters via books from the library before the Winter Olympics this year so they would enjoy watching the events with me. I mispronounced Isabeau's name (it's Isa-bo, not Isa-boo) and didn't realize this until hearing her name announced, so my child's question/heckle actually rhymed when she said it. 

My kids were super into watching the stars while they were on ice. I did look up the skaters and watch YouTube clips of their performances ahead of time, so they were prepared. Also, I like watching figure skating. It's pretty amazing what people can do. 

Side-note, I posted a thing about our trip to Stars on Ice at Hershey on my other blog: http://notsocomical.comicaltruestory.com/2026/05/stars-on-ice.html 

R: Isabeau, what jump will you do?!?!
L: I know you're just curious, but it's coming across as heckling. 

Dropping Like Hotcakes

 

We have been to two ice skating shows recently (Disney on Ice then Stars on Ice) and for both performances I packed a large interior pocket full of glowsticks. I highly recommend doing this if you take kids to an ice show, as the stands are kinda dark and kids are often not ok with that. But definitely bring extras because kids will drop them and they will roll down the stands and yeah they be gone. 

Explanation: "dropping like flies" and "selling like hotcakes" are two different phrases that can be combined to "dropping like hotcakes", meaning something that is highly desired is quickly depleting. 

Text:
M: Wow, the kids still have glowstick bracelets after the performance!
L: Yeah, they were dropping like hotcakes but I brought twice as many as we needed and we have no extras now.

Wonka and Goliath

 

A continuation from Tuesday, about the giraffe milk macaroon. Maybe Goliath was an early tester (think of the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie and what happened to the kids). Instead of just feeling ten feet tall, he actually became ten feet tall. 

Text:
Title: 1 Samuel 17
D: Wait a minute - did you give these to Goliath?!?
W: He put his hand into his pockolate and got himself some WONKA CHOCOLATE.

Wonka and David

 

A new twist on the classic David and Goliath? Enter one giraffe milk macaroon. (But what if Goliath ate one? Find out on Thursday.)

Once again, this is from the song "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" in the movie Wonka (which does not contain any Bible character cameos - I was just thinking these up as I listened to the movie soundtrack on my way to Hershey Park for a fun Saturday). 

Text:
Title: 1 Samuel 17
W: 🎵 Goodbye to feeling small And frightened of it all Just eat a few of these and you'll be feeling ten feet tall. 🎵
D: I'm... just gonna trust God to use me and my sling stones. 

Wonka and Elisha

 

Counter-offer: behold my hair-repair eclair.

The movie Wonka has many catchy songs, and "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" is no exception. I could not help but think of a certain Bible character who called down two she-bears when taunted by a group of youths mocking the fact that he was bald. 

Text:
Title: 2 Kings 2
W: 🎵Lost your hair, Can't think where, feeling fairly bare up there...🎵
E: You... are getting all the mama bears.

Alphabet Aggressive

 

Someday he'll get it right, but for now it's cute and hilarious. 

Explanation: the actual song ends with "Now I know my a-b-c's, next time won't you sing with me?" rather than my kiddo's "next time you will sing with me." 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Alphabet Abbreviated

 

This is now how my toddler sings the alphabet song every time. My preschooler has tried getting him to "repeat after me" and go through the alphabet, but she doesn't have it down well enough for that. But they got further than the first phrase, so there's that. And got back on track when I prompted them. Also, he will sing it up to a letter that appears in his name, then just sing out how to spell his name instead (as in l-m-n-o-r-i-o-l-e). His actual name has five letters, which means it can be sung in the b-i-n-g-o song, which means the alphabet song transitions seamlessly into Bingo. 

Text:
O: 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 A b c d e f g - w x y and z 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮
M: How concise.

Salty Lot

 

Happy Birthday to my Grandma and niece!

What is Lot embarrassed about? See the previous comics as we move through Genesis in my church's Sunday sermon series. In case you don't know what happened to Lot's wife, she was turned into a pillar of salt. We actually haven't gotten to that account yet, but I thought this up with one of the earlier comics and had to write it up early. 

Text:

L: That's it - I'm leaving and never coming back. You are so embarrassing. 

A: That's a bit harsh.

R: Yeah, Lot, don't be so salty.

In case you've forgotten - previously on Keeping Up With the Patriarchs: