Eternal Sickness of a Toddler Winter

 

Some days it be like that. Why are kids the best at sharing germs? It's like they won't give you the remote but they will sneeze directly in your eyeball. No snuggles at bedtime but all the snuggles when a tissue is direly needed.

Oh, here's the sketch this one came from:

Text:
Title: Eternal Sickness of a Toddler Winter
R: It's my turn to mutate the virus!
N: *handing over green blob* Ok, give it back when you are done.

Tool Search

 Not much to add.

Explanation: Calling someone a tool is an insult. The awkward pause makes it seem like the worker is self-labeling an insult. 

Text:
Title: Home Improvement Store
L: I'm looking for a tool. *shows phone*
W: Well, I'm right here.
...
W: And! I can help.

No Solution Desired

My child does not like waiting for me to finish my breakfast tea. I don't like rushing into the day. We are at an impasse. But as far as solutions go, I'm super grateful for my Yeti tumbler (not a sponsor) - I got it at an Alumni meetup from my college and it works wonderfully. It keeps my tea hot for hours! One time, I made boiling hot tea at 9am, sealed it and put it in my car out in the winter weather, then didn't drink it until after lunch around 2pm and it was perfect drinking temperature. If you're a parent who keeps getting pulled away from their tea and coming back to a cold cup, I think this is an excellent solution. 

Text:
R: Play with me!
L: I want to finish my tea first.
R: Use a fermos*
L: I don't want a solution.
*thermos

Penne for your Thoughts

 

You rigatotally had me there. If you want to know the difference in these noodles, see here: https://www.paesana.com/blog/lets-talk-about-pasta-the-difference-between-penne-ziti-and-rigatoni 

Explanation: "Penny" and "penne" sound similar and "penny for your thoughts" is a normal phrase. 

Text:
A: Why are you handing me a pasta noodle?
B: Penne for your thoughts?
A: That's rigatoni. 

Toddler Logic

 

Some days it be like that. This is a true story, depicting Oriole dumping out the freshly tidied up toys. But kids want to play and learn and not stick with your schedule. 

Text:
M: Why are you doing that - that's not helpful!
L: There's your answer.

Second Try

 

It's probably not fine, but we're gonna click the red button to surely find out! I thought this one up in a conversation with my brother, but I don't remember the context. 

Text:
A: Third time's the charm!
B: But this is the second try?
A: Yep, I have a bad feeling about this attempt.