Potato Chip Cooking Methods

 

This one came to me when my brother was eating a bag of hand cooked potato chips. Please note in my comic the names of the chips - I am proud of the branding.

Text:
A: I sell hand cooked potato chips. *holding po-tay-to chip bag*
B: Well I sell foot cooked potato chips. *holding po-tah-to chip bag*
A: ew.

Shopping on Target

 

The joys of parenting in the potty training phase. No, this is not a true story - I would not do that to my daughter (and really it would be to myself as the one who would be on cleanup). The true part of the story is where my son sees things in the store and calls out their names so I say "we have that at home" and move on. He now says it back to me (while laughing) when I mention what's on the list and I have to say, "no, we don't have it at home and that is why we're at the story, my dude." 

Text:
L: We are only going to get what we need as we shop.
O: Goldfish!
L: No, we have Goldfish at home.
R: Potty!!!
L: We have potties at home!

Hearsay

 

Happy Birthday to my grandmother! We look forward to our next visit up to see you.
Check your sources, people. This is a true story and indeed, his guess was incorrect. My library gives out hand or book stamps at the end of most story times (there's a booklet to track how many classes you've been to but my kids prefer to get their hand stamped). I don't remember why I drew this as a sticker rather than a hand stamp - maybe it was clearer this way. 

Text:
E: Come get a sticker!
O: Maybe it's purple
R: I heard it's purple.
L: Did you hear it from his guess?
R: Yes.

Stuff the Duvet

And a bonus version:

Stuffing a duvet into the duvet cover is an act of love. Unless you do it wrong, then it's an act of annoyance. There are many tips and tricks with how to get it all in there flatly, but I wish you the best of luck if you need to tackle the task. 

Explanation: During the summer, a duvet cover can be used on your bed without any filling. It's like a top sheet or thin comforter in that state. But as the weather gets colder, you need more warmth and can fill the duvet cover with a duvet of your preferred thickness. 

Text:
L: Speaking of laundry, if the duvet cover isn't warm enough for you - you can stuff it.
Bonus:
M: I feel targeted. I guess I could do that.
L: If you want it done right, I can do it.

Bubble Blaster Weed Whacker

 

We are nearing the end of both bubble blasting season and yardwork season, so I needed to get this one out before it got stale. I could have just saved it for next summer, but that would mean planning very far ahead. Finding time to draw comics is difficult, but I do enjoy drawing when I can get around to it. I think up a lot of comics that live in text form on my phone, but getting to sit down and draw them out takes more time than just jotting down the text. Finding balance is hard with anything, even enjoyable hobbies.

A bubble blaster is like a battery powered water gun, but it blows bubbles rather than squirts water. It is a way for young kids to blow bubbles without spilling the solution. While using traditional bubbles is great for coordination and such, sometimes you want the easy win rather than a learning experience. 

Text:
R: What is that noise?
L: Sounds like our neighbor is using a weed whacker.
R: Or it could be a bubble blaster?
L: Unlikely.
R: Maybe?

What Else Did God Make

We have been teaching our kids the First Catechisms (there's 150 in there and while I disagree with 133/134, the rest are sound theology and also we have only tackled the first like 10). There are songs to go along with them - Ask Me Whooo. I've only heard the first two albums (available on Spotify and YouTubeMusic) so like the first 100 catechisms set to song and they are a catchy way to learn some sound theology. Provided your kid actually sings along instead of making his own version and overpowering the chorus. Yes, God did indeed make the trees and flowers but ALSO so much more - all things, to be exact.

Links here:
First Catechism: https://opc.org/cce/FirstCatechism.html 

Ask Me Whooo: http://askmewhooo.com/home.html

Text:
Song and Mom: What else did God make? Whaaat else did God make?
Song and daughter: God made all things, all things, all things! God made all things, aaaaaall thiiiiings.
Son over song: Trees and flowers!

Be Grass

 

Sometimes your kids just say what they mean, and while it still comes out of left field - it is nice to know what they're going for. And this is a true story, transcribed how it happened (even down to the blue mug I was sipping my tea from). My kids were asking me to be a bunch of things, mainly animals so I would just make a sound between my sips of delightful Earl Grey. But then there's this. 

Text:
O: Can you be grass?!?
L: How??
R: You lay down on the ground, and we walk all over you.
L: Hard pass.

Be a Horsie

 

Someday my kids will appreciate my humor. Or at least groan respectably at it, like some of my nieces do. I know I'm hilarious, and that's what matters. 

Explanations: Horses say "neigh." "Nay" mean no. Yay, a pun! Toddlers don't seem to acknowledge those.

Text:
O: Can you be a horsie?
L: Nay.

Sea Eagle

 

We went to the beach in October and it was actually nice because no sunburns and also no crowds. As shown in this comic, toddlers can act like poor speech-to-text software with just assuming similar words are your words. He was super excited to see the birds, whatever they were. And we did not feed the beach birds - what goes in then goes up and comes down. 

Text:
L: Look - a seagull!
O: WOW! Eagle!
L: No, a sea gull.
O: Oh! Sea Eagle!

Weightlifting: Parenthood Edition

Happy early Birthday to my brother-in-law Dan! You can probably do both.

Yeah parenting is not for the weak. Deadlifts don't scratch and kick you while shrieking. Please note that my children are usually angels, but every child has overemotional times and WOW they are taxing on the whole household.

Explanation: A deadlift is a strength exercise where you lift a barbell, which does not move or scream at you. A livelift is something I just made up, and it's when you get exercised trying to move your child mid-meltdown. I'm sure there's an exorcism pun to be made there.

Text:
WL: I can deadlift 400 pounds of cold, hard iron!!! YEAH!!!
L: I can live lift 50 pounds of squirming, crying preschooler.
Ref: WINNER!

Indecisive

 

If you say someone is on the fence about something, what kind of fence do you picture? One of those natural wood, neighbor-dividing ones that Garfield the cat would caterwaul upon? Or a white picket fence that you'd have to balance daintily on? Some sort of wrought iron type? So many options.

Explanation: he's being indecisive about being called indecisive. That is a difficult word to spell.

Text:
A: Your family is know for being indecisive.
B: I'm not sure about that...

Tall Order Cook

I would love for this to happen in real life. You would probably lose your job but you would gain the admiration of all those in line. 

Explanation: A short-order cook has been explained in a previous comic (look back if you need to). A tall order is when something is going to be difficult or hard to accomplish. I do not want to be a tall-order cook.

Text:
P: I want *super complicated order*
S: We're gonna need the tall-order cook.

Parking Garage Meal

 

True Story - it was a stegosaurus. 

To be clear, we did not eat random food off the floor of a public garage. We do have standards. We also threw out the leftovers we forgot in the car overnight, because we care about our intestines and don't want to cause duress. 

Text:
Title: *Walking Through a Parking Garage*
L: ... Would you like a dino nugget?
M: With a side of that mac'n'cheese we left in the car overnight.
R: What obligation are you so desperate to get out of?!?!

Not Short Order Cook

This may have been inspired by a sign about being "short staffed" and someone complaining that they should hire taller people.

Explanation: A "short-order cook" is not referring to their size, it's referring to the time it takes to make meals (they make things that are quick like sandwiches or eggs apparently). 

Text:
A: Are you a short-order cook?
B: I'm a slightly-above-average-order cook. 

Time Not Well Spent

 

Happy belated Birthdays to my niece and nephew!
I feel this is in line with a comic I posted back in July about a lack of dedication. Did this one spawn after one too many times of lollygagging for a bit then when I sit down to actually do something then the children are no longer placid and totally need my attention to be on them instead of whatever I just started working on? Who can say.

Text:
M: How was your afternoon?
L: I wouldn't say I wasted the time, but I can't say it was well spent.

Shark Shutout

 

So we were driving along and saw a sign for all-you-can-eat sushi, which straight up does not sound like a great idea, but then my husband made it worse and this comic was spawned. I once had a coworker who would take the occasional gamble and have gas station sushi for lunch. He thought I was in the same boat one lunch but I gently corrected him with "no, this is from Wegmans." I don't gamble with seafood. 

Shark Tank is a show where people with ideas pitch said ideas to people with money and try to get their idea to happen. Not all ideas are good ideas.

Text:
A: Hello Sharks - my idea is simple yet attention-grabbing: All-You-Can-Eat Gas Station Sushi.
Sharks: Get out.

Pesto Bismol

 

Happy Birthday to my little brother!
Funky, fresh, and what else do you need when your tummy is rumbly? I think the Sharks are gonna say nope, but maybe they like the fresh take? Maybe they have indigestion and figure, why not?

Explanation: Pepto-Bismol is a medicine for indigestion and the like. Pesto is a sauce of crushed basil leaves, pine nuts, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil, typically served with pasta. Combine the two, and I'm truly not sure what would happen. 

Text:
A: I want to innovate medicine with fresh ingredients, so I present: Pesto-Bismol!
Shark1: *inquisitive*
Shark2: *face-palm*

Furniture Princess

 

There is a wooden bench in our church atrium and it's a solid, smooth bench however the legs are not even so it wobbles. It has no upholstery so it's not dated, but it is loud since the center legs are longer than the ones on either side. It's not an ideal situation, and yet it stays.

Explanation: The princess is Belle from Beauty and the Beast, a movie where the staff of a castle are turned into furniture and other objects in said castle. There's other plot points but that's the relevant one for this comic. 

Text:
D: Did we get rid of that old bench from the church lobby?
M: Nope, someone is sentimentally attached to it.
D: Nooooo, who has sentimental attachment to furniture?!?!
Belle: :( 

Jog for Life

Happy belated Birthday to my Grandpa!
A local pregnancy center had their 5k this past weekend, and there was a one mile walk as well as some kid races. We did the walk and my preschooler did a race (about the length of a kid soccer field). I realize that there's a Mandalorian reference here but I was not up for drawing a Mandalorian helmet. Maybe I'll do a bonus scene one day but it's unlikely. My toddler was happy to be held for the full mile walk and specifically wanted to be on my right side (I tried changing him to my left side and he scooted across my front to get back to the right) so needless to say, my right arm was super sore the next day. 

Text:
L: That lady brought her jogging stroller.
M: This is the Walk.
L: You can Walk for Life and/or Run for Life, but there is no Jog for Life.

Uno Domination

 

My preschooler has a few card games that she likes, and Moana Uno is at the top of the list. It is truly unfortunate how the cards end up sometimes. I believe if you're old enough to play, you're old enough to lose; however, losing all the time is not fun or encouraging so I play more at her level. But sometimes you just have a handful of action cards and you gotta play the cards you're dealt. 

Explanation: I was playing Uno with my kiddo and I had a handful of actions cards which she was on the receiving end of. Poor girl was picking up cards left and right. She still had a great attitude about it, which is what I'm trying to cultivate.

Text:
Title: Game Time
R: I don't know how I have so many cards.
L: Well, there have been a few +2's and +4's played....

Not Pretty Not Princesses

 

The life my art imitates:

I believe this toy is a Melissa & Doug one, which has passed through my cousin's house then my nieces' house and now is in my house. It's in good shape, too! The outfits are magnetic and stick to the characters, and there are lots of options to wear. And the girls are pretty - I'm not sure why Robin was being a contrarian that day (I think it's a sibling thing, purely to rile up her brother). 

Text:

O: Playing princesses?
R: They aren't princesses.
L: He thinks all the pretty girls are princesses.
R: They aren't pretty.

Searching for Little Grey Cells

 

I was introduced to Hercule Poirot by my in-laws. Not sure how I hadn't heard of him before, but then again I didn't know much about Agatha Christie other than she was a writer in the mystery genre. As for the unfinished comic, I could not decide who to put as the foil so I leave it up to your imagination. 

Explanation: Detective Poirot uses the phrase "little grey cells" for his brain. Instead of asking where someone's mind has wandered off to, you can use this phrase instead!

Text:
HP: Let us send out a search party for those little grey cells of yours.
X: <insert character here>

Rich Young Ruler: Luke vs Mark

In a Sunday School lesson, my teacher mentioned the passages about the rich young ruler. I came to the realization (it could be a translation thing) that only Luke calls him a ruler - Matthew and Mark just call him a person, like maybe they didn't know he was a ruler. So in my mind, Luke is aware of local politics but the others are not. I also gave him a name so it seems Luke really knows who he is.

Luke 18:18: "And a ruler asked him, 'Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"
Mark 10:17: "And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%2018%3A18ff&version=ESV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%2010%3A17-31&version=ESV

Text:
Title: Gospel Writers
M: Some guy is talking to Jesus. (Mark 10:17)
L: That's Octavius - I voted for him. (Luke 18:18)

Rich Young Ruler: Luke vs Matthew

 

In a Sunday School lesson, my teacher mentioned the passages about the rich young ruler. I came to the realization (it could be a translation thing) that only Luke calls him a ruler - Matthew and Mark just call him a person, like maybe they didn't know he was a ruler. So in my mind, Luke is aware of local politics but the others are not. 

Luke 18:18: "And a ruler asked him, 'Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'"
Matthew 19:16: "And behold, a man came up to him, saying, 'Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?'"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%2018%3A18ff&version=ESV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019%3A16ff&version=ESV

Text:
Title: Gospel Writers
L: That is our rich young ruler. (Luke 18:18)
M: He's just some dude? (Matthew 19:16)

Kid Song Remix

 

Why not do a song mashup, but I do need them to know that they are doing a song mashup and that's not the way either song actually goes and also it's a weasel not a monkey that pops. Why? I don't know. It's just the way the ancient song goes.

Text:
R&O: Ring around the rosie, Pop goes the monkey, Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
L: Wait a minute...

Hard vs Soft Tasks

 

This was written in reference to getting my preschooler changed into her swimsuit. I'm trying to get her to do more tasks that she can do, but it's a struggle because it's hard for her and much quicker for me. But this is how we grow? Wet swimsuits are a struggle at any age.

Explanation: Hard and soft are opposites. We describe difficult situations as hard, but we don't usually describe easy situations as soft.

Text:
R: You do it.
L: Why?? It's hard.
R: I only do things that are soft.

House Rules

 

Happy early Birthday to my Mom!
The weird things you say as a parent. Why do we have to specify such things? Oh yes, it's because they are new to the world and don't realize social norms. If a toe can fit in a nostril, why not?

Text:
A: What surprising things have you legislated this week?
L: Do not put his toes up your nose.
A: Wow.
L: Do not grab your sister's tongue. Or anyone's tongue.
A: You can be too specific.

Summer Library Challenge

 

I did not read all of these but I did read one of them and I made a separate comic about it, which will be uploaded once I figure out how many comics I'll make in the summer reading booklet.
Explanation: All of the books mentioned were made into movies starring Matt Damon. My library does a summer reading challenge which is a booklet with about a dozen categories of books and five or so books in each category, and the goal is to read at least three books in different categories (don't have to be the ones listed, those are just samples) then you get a prize like a reusable bag or cup or notebook with the library logo on it. It's a nice way to expand your reading list and find some books that you might have overlooked otherwise.

Text:
A: Did you do the Library Summer Reading Challenge?
B: Yep! For sci-fi, I read The Martian. For spy/thriller, I read The Bourne Identity. And for voices of war, I read Saving Private Ryan.
A: Over-achiever.

Adorables

 

True Story. They are both adorable. Ori has been saying he's not adorable because that's not his name or the animal he's pretending to be. But it is super adorable to have an adorable kid say they're not adorable. 

Text:
M: Are you adorable?
O: No!
M: Your brother thinks he's not adorable!
R: But he is!

Egg Ordering

 

I look up how I want my eggs and the knowledge will. not. stay. I know scrambled is often ok, but what I really want is (let me look it up) eggs over medium. With no crispy wispy edges. It shouldn't be that hard to remember but when the server asks how I want my eggs, my mind goes blank and I'm like "uuuuuuuhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm scrambled." 

Text:
L: I know how I like my eggs, but I don't know how to say how I like my eggs.
M: Tis a struggle.

Pickle Burger

 

The pickle burger, drawn by my preschooler for my toddler.

It's interesting what my kiddo thinks she can or can't draw. I'm trying to encourage her and explain how objects can be drawn using simple objects, like a car is a square with circles for wheels or a spider is a circle with eight sticks for legs. Also, that's an aqua-mat, which is a surface they can draw on with water and it evaporates to clean itself off and be used again. Pretty nifty. 

Text:
R: What do you want me to draw?
O: Car!
R: I can't draw a car. How about a pickle burger?
O: OK!

Finger-Licking Good

 

Why are toddlers like this? I guess he likes it and wants to share? He has asked this of me several times, and every time he is so hopeful then nearly heartbroken when I don't acquiesce. 

Text:
O: Want to lick my fingers? 
L: Nope.
O: *whining* WHY?!
L: That's weird, my dude. 

Life

 

I saw a "Life is Good" t-shirt and that inspired this comic. 

Explanation: "Life is Good" is a brand of clothing. Life is also the name of a board game (Parcheesi is another board game). Life is also the name of a cereal (Honey Bunches is another cereal). 

Text:
A: Life is Good!
B: I prefer Parcheesi.
C: I like Honey Bunches.

Candle Sharing

 

This came to me in a dream. I might have woken up chuckling then wrote down the idea hoping it would be funny when fully awake (I think it is). I personally don't like candles that smell like food because then I want the food and it's not there. I'm fine with fruit scents, but I feel like that's different because you're sort of inoculated against that due to many lotions and soaps having fruity smells so there's not that immediate connection of "cinnamon roll smell means there's a cinnamon roll to eat" and instead is like "oh, citrus, nice." 

Text:
A: That smells amazing - can I have a taste?
B: No.
A: Aw, why not???
B: It's a candle.

Bluey Games

 

In the show "Bluey," there is a game about being tickle crabs and they are defeated by a seagull. My kids like this game. They like most of the games from Bluey, which means we have to be engaged watching the show so when they ask us to play some random game that's mentioned for a minute we can acquiesce. 

Text:
R: Squalk! Can you be a tickle crab so I can eat you?
O: No. No thank you. 

Wild Hair, Don't Care

 

True Story. Not sure if I captured her hair in all its curly wildness. Sometimes her hair tie is hanging on by only a few hairs and it's all in her face and she's like "no fixing needed, this is what I want" while constantly brushing it out of her face with a probably sticky hand. 

Text:
L: Want me to redo your ponytail, my girl?
R: No, I like it WILD!

Bad Idea: Swimwear

 

I came up with this at a waterpark. Got to get all the summer comics out before summer ends and we can get to the best season (autumn)! I thought to turn this comic into a Shark Tank type one, but I ended up not quite figuring that out and just drew it in the straight conversation style. 

A: You know what's a bad idea? A -
B: Insecure swimwear.
A: *horrified noise*

Hair Compressor

 

My preschooler has completed her first swim lessons and she loved it! The class recommended swim caps and goggles, and I tried just goggles but wow her hair just wrapped around those and it was not excellent. But a swim cap gets all that hair out of the way (one might even say, compresses it away), and the goggles are atop it not getting wrapped in curls. My toddler thought he wanted to try on a swim cap, but panicked once it was on because it was "so tight" and then I had to chase him to get it off as he cried to get it off. Fun times. 

Text:
M: Do we need an air compressor?
L: Like a swim cap?
M: ... what?
L: Hair compressor.

Strawberry Plant

 

They require MAINTENANCE?  But they are outside, with nature providing for them? I actually just fashioned a cage for my strawberries because the birds and bunnies kept getting them, so for a week or so we had delicious tiny strawberries, maybe one to three a day to share. 

Text:
L: My strawberry plant hasn't been putting out berries anymore - I guess the season is over early?
A: Have you been watering it?
L: Have I been what now?

Can't See or Hear

 

The mind of a child is amazing. This is depicting my daughter and my husband, who is behind the play teepee we have in our yard. It has windows and a climbing side and a door and a hammock inside but I didn't depict any of that due to... artistic reasons. 

Explanation: if you can't hear someone, you can't respond to their question. If you respond to their question, that means you can hear them. 

Text:
R: Dad, I can't see you!
M: Can you hear me?
R: No.

Have a Little Faith

 

I thought of this when I heard the phrase and capitalized a letter. 

Explanation: "Have a little faith" is a phrase meaning you should have confidence, at least a little. However, Faith is also a female name, so if you need someone to babysit your kid and she's named Faith you can use this comic interaction as a template. 

Text:
U: I don't know if I'm up for babysitting.
D: It'll be fine - have a little Faith.
F: Yay!

Dino After Eating

 

Happy Anniversary to my little brother and my sister-in-law!
Oh, the things you will say as a parent. "No acrobatics on the stairs." "Seats are for sitting." "Dinosaur impressions are not allowed while holding food." 

Text:
O: I be dinosaur!
L: You can be a dinosaur when you're done eating. 

Old MacDonald Part 2

 

Another twist on the classic song. 

Explanation: Usually, Old MacDonald is sung with farm animals on the farm, not safari animals. To each their own?

Text:
R: And on his farm he had an osswig.
L: ... ostrich?
R: And zebras. Five zebras.
L: What kind of exotic farm is he running?
R: And a LION!

Special Update

Hi all! No comic today, but there's good news and ... related news. So, the good news is that I have crossed 100 subscribers! Woohoo! That's great. Due to this, we are switching to sending out emails ONCE A WEEK (on Fridays) instead of each time I post (i.e. three times a week, Sun/Tues/Thurs). If you want to see my comics more frequently, check out my site, Facebook or Instagram! 

https://comics.comicaltruestory.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Comical.True.Story

https://www.instagram.com/comical.true.story

Thank you for following and subscribing!

Lauren :)

Old MacDonald Part 1

 

A new twist on a classic song? Or a plot that is thickening?

Explanation: if you have a farm with nothing on it, anywhere, what are you doing with a farm? Clearly you are hiding what you're doing, and it might not be farm related. The song should go "on that farm he had a sheep (or whatever animal)" and then the animal noise in duplicate "with a baa baa here and a baa baa there."

Text:
R: Old MacDonald had a farm... on that farm he had NOTHING! Nothing nothing here, nothing nothing there!
L: ... Is Old MacDonald getting investigated by the FDA?

Dedication

 

I don't recall what exactly spawned this comic, but it is true throughout so many scenarios in life. 

Explanation: With more work, things would be better. But behold! More work did not happen. 

Text:
Me: If I was more dedicated, I could have sorted those out. But behold! My lack of dedication. 

Paid Tools

 

A true conversation with someone in the software engineering field. 

Explanation: Being called a tool is not a nice thing, basically just a brainless worker. Paid tools in software engineering are pieces of software that cost money instead of using the free versions. They are generally nicer and some are worth the money. With free software, as with most things, you get what you pay for. 

Text:

Title; Software Engineering
M: My company doesn't let me use paid tools.
L: That means you're the paid tool!

Classic Pairings

 

This is another one from my Pensacola trip a few months ago. My dad was trying to put together a trailer hitch, and I was distracting him. 

Explanation: Washers are an appliance (often paired with dryers), and also a small disc used in assembling many things. Nuts are another item used in assembling things, and also a tasty snack (very different items - don't snack on the building part or use a snack for a building part). 

Text:
A: First add the washer, then -
L: The dryer, yes.
A: No, we add the nut.
L: I have an almond.