Counting Order

 

Happy Birthday to my brother! He has his degree in accounting, so maybe he can help my preschooler get her numbers straight. Ha, the other day my kids were playing dress-up and they were a prince and princess and for whatever reason, Robin was getting Ori to count to ten and he had his numbers all over the place so she very sweetly said "my prince, you are not very good at counting; you need to go to school" and he agreed. 

Text:
R: eleven, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, fifteen, nineteen, twenty!
L: That's not in the right order.
R: But it's my order?

Lane Departure

 

Sometimes it's very hard to keep the snide comments inside. I know that some safety features are overreaching and it's hard to adapt to all the lights and warnings that new cars have, but some just make sense. Stay in your lane (bro) or change over with your blinker on. 

Text:
A: I HATE how my car complains about "lane departure" when I switch lanes, like I KNOW! That's the point here!!!
B: ... Have you tried using your blinker?

Pants vs Capris

 

A fellow parent at the school my preschooler attends made this comment and I just had to comic it. I am quoting Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor from Netflix's "A Series of Unfortunate Events." That character likes to declare things "OUT" and "IN" in a fashion sense, for example she declares elevators "OUT" and stairs "IN" so everyone has to take the stairs rather than use the fully functioning elevator. She has exceedingly vibrant outfits and is quite the character. Also, she's evil. There's that, too. 

Explanation: If your pants are too short, you can try calling them capris and hope for the best. 

Text:
A: My kids grew SO MUCH over Christmas break that their school uniform pants are too short!
L: School pants are OUT! School capris are IN!

Just Trying

 

I mean, he's a very literal child. I've been singing "it's time to go to sleep" (to the tune "Arise, My Soul, Arise") as a lullaby to him and he'll open one eye and say "I AM going to sleep" like yep, buddy, that's what we're doing here but clearly you're not asleep yet however per the lyrics (just that one line, over and over) it simply is time to go to sleep, and he is trying to go to sleep, so he needs to announce it. 

Explanation: None needed if you've dealt with a toddler potty training. 

Text:
L: Do you need to poop?
O: No, just trying. *GRUNT*
L: LET'S do that on the toilet. 

Sushi Yoshi

 

My preschooler likes sushi (California roll or other cooked ones) but my toddler hates rice so... we usually bring a pbj for him. And she pronounces sushi as "shushi."

Explanation: Sushi sounds similar to Yoshi, and Yoshi races with Mario, and Mario is red like Spider-Man? Maybe. Seems like it could be my toddler's logic. 

Text:
L: Your dad is picking up dinner on his way home. Did you hear what we're having?
R: Shushi shushi shushi!
O: Yoshi Yoshi Mario Mario Spider-Man!

Elephant vs Ape

 

That is my daughter using logic taught to her by VeggieTales Silly Songs with Larry - specifically the Monkey with Larry song. It's a funny song with a deeper meaning about false dichotomies. Let's dive in!

It postulates: 
monkeys have tails (correct)
apes do not have tails (correct) THEREFORE
things with tails are monkeys (mostly false other than one case [monkeys])
things without tails are apes (again mostly false other than one case [apes])
things without tails are not monkeys (true other than Curious George)
things with tails are not apes (true)

Logic is fascinating and you can get to a right answer with wrong logic.

Text:
R: African elephants are not apes because they have tails.
L: I mean... yes...

Protein vs Antitein

 

Peanut and steak vs broccoli and carrot, who will win??? Well, it's a protest so there's no winners? Maybe they'll have a nice discussion and come to realize that diets should be balanced. 

Yes, this is a continuation of the comic from Sunday. Also yes, I drew these like VeggieTales without arms because arms are hard. But also no faces because I don't like anthropomorphizing food. 

Explanation: Some foods (like peanuts and steak) have protein in them. Others (like vegetables) don't have protein. The word "protein" starts with "pro", so therefore I invented an "anti" to go against it.

DISCLAIMER: This comic was written before the new food pyramid and all that happened. I'm not weighing in on that - I'm just making a pro- vs anti-tein joke. 

Text:
Peanut and Steak holding a PRO TEIN! sign.
Broccoli and Carrot holding an ANTI TEIN! sign. 

Survey Says

 

These are the questions to which we need answers. 

Explanation: Antediluvian means before the Flood (i.e. Enoch is such an antediluvian name). Anti and Pro are usually opposites. Ante and Anti are easy to confuse. I have decided that if you like meat then you are pro-tein (haha, it's protein) and if you're anti-tein you just like fruits and vegetables (like a toddler avoiding beans and meat). 

Text:
S: Are you antediluvian or prodiluvian?
C: What?
S: Are you pro-tein or anti-tein?
C: ?

Home vs Home

Tis a mystery why my kids are like this...

Explanation: The first image is me with my kids. The second image is my mom with me and my brother.

Behind The Scenes: Originally, the second comic didn't line up completely with the first but I changed the layout so my brother is to right of me just like my son is to the right of my daughter. Also I made our arms similar and our feet are in the same places over the link at the bottom. My original plan was just to have the "mom" blurb copied but I like how similar I was able to get them.

Text:
Title: Me at Home
L: Why do you guys say my name so much?!?
R&O: MOM mom Mom mom Mommy Mom
Title: Me over the Holidays
L1: Guys...
L2& L3: MOM mom Mom mom Mommy Mom

Raw Egg

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my brother-in-law! I have a complicated comic combining his birthdate and my graduation date to make my birthdate, but I don't think it'll make sense without giving away a little too much personal info. I'll save it for his birthday card. It'll be a limited edition (meaning only one made, unless I make it his default birthday comic and put it on his card every year). 

The first hurdle is understanding what your kid is saying. The next hurdle is extrapolating what they're meaning from what they're saying. It's a multi-layered process. Actually the first step is getting your kid to verbally say what they want rather than just crying. Then the understanding followed by the extrapolating. 

Text:
L: We're having noodles with fried eggs for dinner.
R: I don't like when you cook the eggs. Can I have mine uncooked? I like them that way.
L: *translating* ... You want a hardboiled egg? 
R: Yes please.

Peppermint Deterrent

 

Apparently you can use peppermint as a pest deterrent in your attic and pantry and such. Or maybe you can use it to discover the truth about people? Results may vary.

Also, this logic is reminding me of the Monkey Silly Song from Veggie Tales.

Text:
L: Both mice and spiders don't like peppermint.
M: Good to know.
L: ... You don't like peppermint.
M: ... Oh no, you found me out?

Nineties Fashion Explanation

 

Happy New Year! May the new year not bring back super baggy clothing. Loose is nice - hanging off is not. 

Explanation: In the nineties, computers were huge and fashion was super baggy. I have decided these facts are related.

Text:
Title: 90's Fashion Designers
A: I just met a time-traveler who said that in twenty years, we will have computers that fit in our pockets!
B: We need to design pants that can fit a computer in them!!!
C: In! Each! Pocket!

Playing Old Maid

 

We have a version of Old Maid where it's a dedicated deck of people with jobs and one old maid who has a lot of cats. You can also play with a standard deck of playing cards and just remove three of the queens so the remaining one is the old maid. But anyways, my kid likes playing our version of the game from Five Below with slightly oversized cards that make it easier for kids to hold apparently. We also have War and Go Fish, and all three are great for four-year-olds to play.

Explanation: Old Maid is a game where you want to lay down matches which you find by drawing a card at random from another player. 

Text:
Title: Playing Old Maid
M: You took my lawyer!
L: You didn't have her on retainer?
M: Robin must have paid higher.

Lip Hurt

 

Sometimes my toddler answers a question before thinking of what he should say. I think some adults have this issue, too. 

Explanation: Like any two-year-old, my kid hopped out of his chair at the table and just went face-first onto the hardwood floor. His lip was rather swollen for a few days. The Kids Academy workers at the gym were concerned. I felt utterly horrible even though he has gotten out of his chair countless times with no issues so it clearly was an unexpected moment of clumsiness. Such is life as a parent.

Text:
L: How is your lip feeling?
O: GOOD! I think it still hurts a little.
L: My dude, you're sending mixed messages.

Jesus vs Moses

 

Merry Christmas! 
I'm sure the two get confused all the time? But when you think about it: (1) both were put in a peculiar vessel as a baby (manger, woven boat), (2) had the ruler of their land try to kill them (Pharaoh, Herod), (3) performed miracles, ... ok, I can see how my toddler got a little confused. And there's also:
"The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me [Moses] from among you, from your brothers—it is to him you shall listen" (Deut. 18:15, ESV) and
"For if you believed Moses, you would believe me [Jesus]; for he wrote of me. But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?" (John 5:46-47, ESV). and 

"And there appeared to them [Peter/James/John] Elijah with Moses, and they were talking with Jesus." (Mark 9:4, ESV).

Text:
O: Baby Moses!
L: Nope, that's baby Jesus.
O: Oh, ok. Big Moses!
L: Nope, that's Joseph. There's no Moses in the nativity set.