Thursday, August 6, 2020

Let us Discus Shot Put



My college had Field Day once a year and it was all the classic Olympic track and field events like long jump and sprints and such. One year I signed up for it because while I'm not the most athletic (I really don't like running so my two P.E. classes were ice skating and broom hockey), I figured shot put and discus should be fine because what are the odds that any current college student would know how to do this? The odds were very high for non-American students apparently. But some Tongans were very friendly and showed me how to throw the surprisingly solid ball and disc and I totally failed but that is expected when trying something for the first time against people who know what they're doing. But it was fun! I would do it again and probably fail just as badly. 
My college did not have all the track and field events; I think there was a very good reason we did not do the hammer throw. That just seems like a bad plan to do with minimal training. 
The pun here is that to talk about something is to discuss it - if you wish to throw a disc in an Olympic event, that's a discus. 

Text:
A: What are we doing for fun this weekend?
B: We can discus tonight?
A: I'd prefer shot put. 

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Dragging Lizard



This interaction happened at my in-laws. It took the onlookers a moment to get the pun. Haha, 'dragging' sounds like 'dragon' and that's cooler than a lizard. But seriously, this heat wave is just sucking the energy out of everybody except those people who actually like the summer and better be enjoying this because I am not. I totally prefer winter. Or autumn. Or even spring. Just not summer. But I am very grateful for fans and air conditioning and a cool basement which is where my home office is so I can stay cool and calm and collected. 

Text:
N: I'm dragging tonight.
L: Better than being a lizard?

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Giggle Pickles



Welcome to August! Is it still super hot out there? Probably. 
You know you want to try this out at a phone store. I realize the Apple employees have blue shirts and that lanyard thing and not a visor but I have simple drawing skills and some things like lanyards don't look right on my stick figures so I improvised. 
Giggle Pickles is a reference to gigapixels, which is a measurement for high-resolution images, and phones have cameras which take photos, and that's the link. You want at least two barrels of them :) 

Text:
Banner: Apple Store
A: How many giggle pickles are in this phone?
B: ... a barrel?

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Wedding Birthday



Woohoo! Our anniversary is this weekend. I have scheduled this over a week in advance and I don't know what we plan to do for our anniversary. So many rules currently with the Pandemic so it's hard to know what's open or what the rules are if they are open, so we need to research to find out where we can go and have a pleasant time. 
This is a throw-back comic because I drew it a while ago, have had the file on my computer for a while, and apparently keep missing it the one time a year I can post it. But I got it this time! I like hand-drawing comics for cards, but I like digitally drawing comics for my blog since I don't have to do the scanning and cropping part. 

Text:
A: Happy Birthday to your wedding!
M: We have a word for that. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Password Frustration



This one is based on an interaction when my amazing husband was trying to open an account for something real estate related and the site had obnoxious rules. He did not go with markmark, as he just can't be that lame with his passwords, but in the end he realized they would email you your password in the clear if you forgot it, so yeah. 
If they can email you your password in the clear, that means they are storing in the clear somewhere, which means someone can break in and get all the passwords in the clear and use them for nefarious purposes. "But this is a lame site that just gives me access to someone else's data, like government plats, and isn't my info so it's fine" - no it really isn't, because people tend to reuse their passwords so if someone gets that user@place.com has "fluffyBunny" as their password (oh wait, that's 11 chars so too long for this site), there is a high likelihood that one could use that username/password combo on a social media site or bank site or company site and get in and get whatever is desired. It's a problem and in this day and age there is absolutely no reason to store passwords in the clear / email passwords around. If you forget your password, it should instruct you to pick a new one. 
So on the safety side, if you are making a login for a site that will email you your password if you forget it, pick a unique password that you do not use anywhere else. I mean, you should be picking unique passwords for all of your accounts but it's human nature to be lazy and reuse so I say in this case specifically, do not reuse. 

Text:
M: The password must be eight to ten characters with no special characters!?!
L: Guess you have to use your name. But it's too short!
M: ... markmark it is. 

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Chess Cards



We are in the middle of selling our house and buying another and we are doing both at the same time and there are a lot of pieces moving. My amazing husband should have been credited in this comic because it is nearly a quote by him. His brother's response was "Yahtzee", to quote an excellent skit by Studio C from a while ago. If you don't know the skit, please click the link and watch it. The Yahtzee part is about four minutes in but the skit is only five minutes or so total - it will be a humorous break for your day. 
We are very grateful to God that things are going smoothly (at time of writing, clearly, since I don't have the ability to see how things will be going when this posts but I am trusting that they will continue with minimum bumps). We have a new house, we have a buyer for our house, and our sellers have a new house to move into, and there are rent-backs going on but they seem to all be cooperative with each other. Can't wait to be all moved in (should be by September) and hopefully will not have that one room that holds all the boxes that don't get unpacked for years. And then we don't plan to move again until we die. This real estate thing is just stressful. 

Text:
M: It's like a chess game, you have to play your cards right.
N: *confused*
M: And then you just roll the dice. 

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Too Phony



After writing this I had to look up, is that actually how you spell phony? And indeed it is. Is it related to a phone? I don't believe so. I looked up the origin but all I got was 19th century of unknown origin. So maybe it's related to the phone - I cannot say either way. I don't recall what prompted this comic, probably I heard someone use the word 'phony' and I thought, what if you called a phone phony? That's usually how my trains of thought go. I did an old school phone like my parents had/have (not sure if they still have it) - it's corded but I didn't draw that and also it's a yellowish-ivory color. It's not actually a spin dial one, it just looks like it but you just push the buttons rather than spinning them around with the end of your cigarette holder like Cruella de Vil does in the animated 101 Dalmatians. And now I have to look up how to spell her name because that's not one I use very often. 

Text:
Phone: Why can't we be together?
Stapler: You're too phony. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Not My Type



I think I have a similar comic where one letter compliments the other on their accent, but this time it's font types and the easiest way I can do fonts is to use print and cursive. I know there are lots of strong feelings about teaching cursive and I think if you feel that strongly about it, maybe teach your kid cursive on your own? Or maybe don't teach your kids cursive and let us use it as a secret language when we are old. Not like they will make a text reader to decipher it, oh wait, hmmmm maybe write cursive pig latin yeah that will totally work. 

Text:
Text letter 'b': Sorry, you're not my type.
Cursive letter 'b': I see. (written in cursive but I don't have a cursive font here)

Sunday, July 19, 2020

Phishing Trip



I am a software engineer who has worked in security for years and I have nearly been caught by a well worded phishing attempt (when you get a malicious email that looks nearly legit and you desire to click the seemingly innocuous link only for it to do nasty things to your computer), possibly more than once. They sometimes are super easy to spot (spelling errors, pretending to be from a company with whom I do business but not from that email, pretending to be from a company with whom I don't do business, ...) but other times they either seem like they're from a legitimate source or like the comic, they have a touching or heartwarming story that makes you want to read more or give to a cause. 

Text:
A: So this unsolicited email tells a heartwarming story and there's a link to the video at the bottom - 
B: NO

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Fishy Help



I forget what inspired this one, but I feel like it was not work related because my team is very helpful. It might have been a home situation where Mark needed assistance but I was occupied - that seems likely. The fish bowl is inspired by the one I had for my beta fish nearly a decade ago. Omega was our first and only pet so far. He had colorful rocks at the bottom of his vase. His vase was taller and a bit narrower than this drawing.

Text:
*Fish tank with two fish*
Fish1: Ask someone else to help you!
Fish2: How?

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Internal Processor



I wrote this over a year ago when work was kinda rough (my company rolled out some changes, my 5-person team became a 3-person team, and I took on more responsibilities due to both) and this is how I felt. Things are better now. I'm still an internal processor. It's hard to get the words out when I need the time to know how I feel and how to arrange the words and then sometimes the opportunity is gone. 

Text:
Manager: I appreciate that you're not fazed by all these changes at work - good job being calm and handling things smoothly!
L's thought bubble: I am an INTERNAL PROCESSOR!!!
L: Thanks!

Sunday, July 12, 2020

Showers with a chance of Blessings



We were listening to the radio and when the weather update was given, they said there was going to be showers, and Mark and I both added OF BLESSSSSSINGGGGGGS and didn't hear the rest of the weather report. I was going to try to draw the person listening to the radio but I figured a TV was clearer that it was a weather forecast. 

Text:
Weatherman: And tomorrow, there will be showers - 
Mark: OF BLESSINGS!! *music notes*

Thursday, July 9, 2020

Sheep Uprising



This was inspired by our trip to Ireland a few years ago - one of our tour guides mentioned how the sheep liked to break through the hedges and get all in the road and stop the cars and he described it as a 'sheep uprising.' Our tour times always had a caveat for sheep uprisings, cause if they were blocking the road then things were gonna be delayed. We did not see any sheep uprisings and also we had a great time over there. So much history and beautiful vistas and such nice people. 

Title: After the latest uprising through the hedge
Ram: This breakthrough is all thanks to ewe!
Ewe: The ramifications are huge!

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Stuff on Sail



I thought this one up a while ago and it took a while to finally draw it out. I like the boat in the distance to show where the sail is from. What's on the sail? Possibly pirated stuff. You just never know what you could find when a pirate sets up a beach shop (I would say having a yard sale but it's not a yard and it's not on sale). I wonder if he'll get any customers. Who is even on the beach nowadays? At current writing, most things are closed but hopefully more things will open up and people will defeat the virus once and for all!

Text:
Sign: Stuff on Sail -->
Pirate standing on a sail, surrounded by goods: Why do people think it should be marked down?

Sunday, July 5, 2020

Wholly Holey Holy



I'm not a fan of cheese since I'm lactose intolerant (I know there is less lactose in harder cheeses but really it's not worth the stomach ache to figure out if I can eat something and also there are plenty of alternatives at Wegmans so that's quite excellent) but I am a fan of puns, the more the better :) Swiss cheese has holes, but why and also are there other cheeses that have holes? CultureCheeseMag has the answer! But BBC has a different answer but it isn't peer reviewed. Also there are many cheeses from Switzerland (we visited there a few years ago and they talked about their hundreds of cheeses) and several of them have holes. 

Text:
A: Why did you bless the block of Swiss cheese?
B: So it can be wholly holey holy cheese!