Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Advanced Deflection


Sometimes you just don't want to answer but you can't not answer so you come up with a way to have more time. I could have had the first guy respond with "Do you know where I could find him?" instead of "ok" but I just thought of that while typing this up and I'd have to think of how the second panel would go. Maybe just the two of them staring at each other in silence. That could be funny.

Text:
A: Who is going to make this hard decision?
B: You should ask my wife's husband.
A: Ok.
Later:
A: Wait a minute...

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Lip Service


Specifically Isaiah 29:13-14.
There's a song by Relient K called "Maybe It's Maybelline" and I mentioned it to my husband and he thought Maybelline was just some woman they were blaming stuff on because he's not familiar with beauty commercials, specifically the "Maybe she's born with it; maybe it's Maybelline" ones which is what the song is referencing. The song is about blame-shifting and saying "maybe it's you, maybe it's me, or maybe it's Maybelline" so I can see how my husband was confused. The slogan, on the other hand, is trying to say that Maybelline makeup is so natural looking that you can't quite tell if the lady is wearing makeup or just is naturally that good looking. Also, I'm totally fine with my man not knowing all the beauty commercial slogans. It'd be kinda odd if he did.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Fishbowl


Sometimes you want to expand your options but maybe check that you can? I remember way back in the day we were at a fair and they had that little pool of goldfish and you paid like a quarter for one scoop to try and get a fish and my little brother caught SIX on his first scoop. We set up a little aquarium for them but they started disappearing and we didn't know where they were going but we noticed the dog had taken to patiently waiting by the tank and she just liked to chill there. Then we realized the fish were jumping out of the tank if we forgot to close the lid after feeding them and our dog was just enjoying the little snacks. :( We then remembered to close the lid every time and two of the fish lasted like two years which is crazy for a cheap little goldfish.

Text:
G1: I think that we should see other people.
G2: How?

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Fellowship vs Ladyship


Some ships are nicer than others.
Also, happy day-after-your-birthday to my brother-in-law, but I'm not sure if he reads my blog.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Spicy Changes


Any great plans for the new year? Any changes you've resolved to do? Remember, variety is the spice of life and your stomach can only handle so much spice. But it is good to have at least some flavoring which could be thought of as spice (not all spices are spicy).

Text:
A: How do you feel about the recent changes?
J: TOO SPICY!

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Piney Pork


I thought of this a while ago but didn't get around to drawing it until recently. I think my piney pork looks kinda cute. I accidentally drew a hedgehog instead of a porcupine and I realized the joke didn't work like that so I redrew the animal. But it was a little tedious to draw the hedgehog then erase it and draw a porcupine.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Going Sideways


Happy New Year!
Maybe for crabs, things going sideways is seen as a good thing? Who knows. Also, I realize live crabs shouldn't be red (that's what happens when they're boiled) but they are more recognizable when red, and also I forgot the boiling fact when I drew this.

Text:
Snail: How's life?
Crab: Things are going sideways, as always.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Mustard the Troops


Last comic of 2018! Time to get your act together? Fit as many puns in as you can! It's the best way to spend your time, clearly.

Text:
G: Why are my men covered in a yellow sauce?
P: You told me to mustard the troops.
G: ...I'll catch up with you later.
P: I don't relish that.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Pencil In Plans


Sometimes I doodle comics during meetings. This one is on the back of a page-a-day calendar page which is showing through a little. It's a Liz Climo comic calendar and I've enjoyed it all year. I also enjoy when meetings have concrete details.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

A Spinosaurus for Christmas


If someone has the pleasure of recording this amazing cover, please send me a link.

I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
Only a Spinosaurus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinkey tinker toy
I want a Spinosaurus to play with and enjoy
I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use a dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door
That's the easy thing to do
I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a Spinosaurus standing there
I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
Only a Spinosaurus will do
No Velociraptors, no Triceratopses
I only likes Spinosauruses
And Spinosauruses like me, too
(Original songwriter: John Jefferson Rox)

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Christmas Fringe


Oh, those lovely cats. I do not have any pets and I would not like to ever have a cat (I am very much a dog person - I enjoy pet sitting for friends).
We got new Christmas stockings last year (well, post-Christmas sales the year before but last year was our first year using them) and they are Captain America and Iron Man (from their Civil War movie). I like them a lot. Our previous ones were the classic red with white trim. I considered crocheting stockings for us but realized that is A LOT of work and I really like our Marvel ones so I'm not gonna do that any time soon.
Also, I can't call something "in" without thinking of the Netflix "Series of Unfortunate Events" episode where they were declaring absurd things fashionably "in" and "out" - that's the episode with the Salmonella Restaurant and that part had me crying with laughter.

Text:
W: The cat destroyed the stockings and the tree skirt!!!
H: Well, I believe fringe is in.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Shaved Chocolate


And this is a classic example of why you don't use non-food-safe implements in the kitchen.
On a much tastier note (which really wouldn't take much) I noticed several outposts of Girl Scouts selling their wares around town and I bought three boxes - I love the Thin Mints, I've enjoyed the Smores, and the Lemonade ones are always good. I helped the kids learn math skills because I paid with a $20 and the boxes are $4 each.

Text:
M: Why is my Gillette razor in the kitchen?
L: I needed to shave some chocolate for this cake.
M: *BLEH*

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Tobias and Phobias


Well that's just taking name rhyming a bit too far. There's a comic about name rhyming in the Pickles comic - Pearl considered marrying Earl and naming their kids Merle, Burl, and such, Oh, here it is.
I'm all for naming your kids on a theme, but maybe don't use non-name words to make the theme work. Maybe just pick a new theme.
Now the question is, how do they pronounce Phobias' name? I would think they make it fit the cadence of Tobias rather than pronouncing it the correct way. Which would just be annoying for the entirety of that child's life.

Text:
P: Here are my kids, Tobias and Phobias.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Aria and Cadence and Staccato


We were at my sister-in-law's church and there was a family who's kid was named Cadence and I started thinking why are some musical notations name-worthy but others aren't? Well, per a quick Google search for 'musical names for children' (I was trying to find the comic/post that inspired this where it starts out with normal musical names and slowly gets to ridiculous ones) there are quite a few musical terms that some people deem name-worthy but I don't.

Text:
S: You've met my sisters, Aria and Cadence.
F: Oh, now you're name makes more sense, Staccato.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Olive and Pimento


A pimento is a type of pepper that is used for a variety of things but specifically it's the red thing stuffed into green olives. I'm not sure why some foods are considered name-worthy but others aren't.
We were watching a show called Manifest but stopped because we realized we didn't like any of the characters on the show. One of the characters is named Olive and her twin brother is called Cal and I don't know his full name but I've decided it's Kalamata (which is a type of olive).

Text:
P: Here are my kids, Olive and Pimento.