Thursday, January 23, 2020

Batman vs Octopus-man


Those who received a comic book from me this year have already seen this one! But for those who follow this blog, this is your first time seeing it! How about I just look up the blurb I used for it in my book....
If that guy follows Batman's naming scheme, he'd be Octopus-man. Maybe he'd have the ability to blend in and fit through tiny spaces and also extreme intelligence.
But Batman doesn't actually have any bat abilities - no echolocation, not actual flight, and he doesn't (to my knowledge) eat bugs. He does eat fruit, and some bats also eat fruit, but also humans eat fruit so that's not a defining characteristic.

Text:
R: Who are you?!?
B: Your worst nightmare.
R: But you don't look like an octopus. So who are you?!?
B: My worst nightmare.
R: ...maybe you need therapy?

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Big Bucks


I forget where I heard the phrase 'big bucks' that sparked this comic, but I think it has always brought a deer image to my mind. Now I want to find the origin of the phrase. So bucks are slang for dollars, which is kinda common knowledge, but apparently that could be due to people trading deer skins for goods, which made them a type of money. So the big bucks are worth more, since that's how commodities work. So that makes sense I think.

A: The biggest deer come from your forest.
B: Yeah, I raise the big bucks.

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Favorite Famous Farmer


This was sparked by a sermon a while ago, but I cannot find it on my church's Sermon Audio so it wasn't based on this verse. I believe it was when we were in between pastors so it was a guest speaker in the 2017-2018 time frame. But he had a good point about this verse, in that we don't have celebrity farmers (at least, to the extent of my knowledge we don't). However, farmers are very important.

Happy Birthday to my niece Adeline! I hope you have a splendid day :)

Text:
P: Who is your favorite famous farmer?
D: ?

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Bald Faced Lies


Well, at least he's being honest about his desire to lie. But what if he's lying about that? Then .... things just get confusing. What if your face became bald when you lied? Would that be better or worse than the Pinocchio complex, where your nose grows really long when you lie? I think both are bad.

Text:
A: Why did you shave off your eyebrows and beard?!
B: I wanted to tell a bald-faced lie.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

CO Alarm


I forget what sparked this comic, but it possibly was when we had to replace a battery to an alarm in the house. Then I was thinking about how CO could be Carbon Monoxide OR Colorado (there are probably other CO options as well).
I have visited Colorado and it was nice. There was one year when we visited CA, CO, and CT and it wasn't our goal to stick with the C states but it worked out nicely. All the visits were nice.

Text:
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Dad: That is the CO monitor, young lady!
Mom: Where is your friend from?!?
Daughter: I...I thought...
BF: What do you people have against the Centennial State?!

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Gift Card Denominations


I have to admit, my first thought when I went to buy a gift card and this question was asked (thankfully through the computer so there was not an awkward human interaction) was exactly this comic. It's funny that money has denominations and so do religions but they are not parallel.

Text:
L: And I'd like to buy a gift card.
C: What denomination?
L: Ummm.... Baptist?

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Core Values


We had an all-hands meeting at work and they were talking about core values and I thought about how some fruits have cores and others don't and that is not what the meeting was about. There are only a few fruits actually with cores, many have pits or other things you avoid in the center but not a whole line from top to bottom. And many don't have anything to avoid in the center.

Text:
Apple: Tell me about your core values.
Grapes: ?

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Instant Chill Mode


Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law Noah! Not to be confused with my brother Noah, who's birthday is later this month.
In the Marvel Spider-Man movies (and cross-overs), "Instant Kill" mode is mentioned (I won't say if it's deactivated or activated or intentional or anything).
This one time, at Word of Life (where my family went every year for after Christmas to New Years), they always had a cookie decorating contest and I made a Spider-Man cookie by doing his suit in pastel pink and blue (they only had pastel frostings) and then making the lines all in chocolate sprinkles (used a toothpick to get them all in lines) and it took a while but it looked awesome and there's probably a picture of it in a five-gallon bucket of pictures at my parent's house.

Text:
PP: Karen, can you order soda and pizza for me?
K: Activating Instant Chill Mode.

Sunday, January 5, 2020

A Day in the Life: Programmer



I forget what inspired this comic, but it's part of being a developer. It doesn't always matter who caused the issue. But fixing things is a cool part of my job, where you can see an issue and see how to fix it and implement the fix and people are happy (for a few minutes hopefully before moving on).
Sometimes I type my comics because there's too much text to easy script it.

Text:
Title: A day in the life of a programmer
L: Good news: the issue is not our fault! Bad news: we're still getting blamed for it.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

Dream Mash Up


Happy New Year!
Nothing says holidays like watching kid movies with the nieces and nephews :) Tangled and Horton Hears a Who are great movies. Maybe shouldn't be combined.
I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year's and are ready to face the 2020 word with perfect eye sight (that's what happens this year, right? We all get 2020 vision?)

Text:
Rapunzel: *singing* I have a dream, I have a dream!
Katie: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies.
Flynn: ... Your dream is unique and I hope it never happens.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Beef Options


Be sure to specify how you want your beef when you eat out for New Years. Do people go out for New Years? Like to a restaurant? I have always been at a family or church party, and there are games and pizza involved, but no restaurants (other than the pizza place to pick up or deliver the pizza).
I think the waiter should be more specific - beef solid could be a roast or steak or tartare (which is actually kinda squishy so maybe not a solid) or many other options.

Text:
W: Would you like beef soup or beef solid?
P: *uncertain*

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Words With Grandma


So there's this game called Words With Friends and both of my grandmothers play it (I believe my paternal grandmother got my maternal grandmother into it) and they are both rather good at it so I usually have at least one game going with each of them. My paternal grandmother grew up playing this amazing card game called Royalty and most people haven't heard of it but I have many memories of stopping by my Great-Grandmother's house and seeing Hope Sr. and Hope Jr. playing Royalty with a dictionary next to them to settle disputes.

Text:
L: *sigh* (while looking at phone)
M: Bad news?
L: My grandma just laid a 50 point word on me in Scrabble.

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Mother's Children Spying


I was trying to remember the name of this song and it's just "The Christmas Song", sometimes subtitled "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" which is the opening line and quite frankly, more distinct than the given name. Also, this one time while out shopping we saw a container of roasted chestnuts so we got them and ew, they were gross. They were all soggy and cold. I think roasting actual nuts on a fire could be good, but not from a jar. We really should have known better.

Text:
R: And every mother's child is gonna spy -
G: Yeah, maybe in Russia.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Not a Creature Was Stirring


'Twas the night before Christmas...
Sometimes you just feel the need to play your instrument and defy stereotypes.
I hope you have a restful Christmas Eve and a cozy Christmas!

Text:
Quiet as a ... oh.
*mouse playing drums*

Sunday, December 22, 2019

What Child Is This


"Hail, hail the Word made flesh, The Babe, the Son of Mary." ~William C. Dix, "What Child Is This?"
 I was singing this song at church and was reminded that it is one of the few that directly links the Crucifixion to the Nativity. When Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to the Temple, Simeon gives a prophesy of suffering surrounded by hope - Luke 2:25-35.
It can be hard when you are surround with all the things, even good things, around Christmas, like family gatherings and gift exchanges and travel plans, to remember the true meaning of Christmas, that Christ was born as a human in order to take the punishment of sin for us. I find Bible reading plans (many are available in the YouVersion app) helpful to keep me grounded and re-align my focus on God and how He works through this season and through history.

Text:
"Nails, spear shall pierce Him through, the cross be borne for me, for you" - "What Child Is This?"