Thursday, March 31, 2022

Neat Nick

enable images

 I do not have a nephew named Nicolas (or any close relatives by that name but I believe there is a Nick if I go up my family tree to my grandfather and over to one of his siblings and down a level or two). I don't know if he's neat. Now I want to know why the phrase 'neat Nick' is a thing... Ah, that should be neatnik. Apparently there's also a medical tool called a NeatNick which is used for blood draws (I appreciate the punny name) and a Preserves company by the same name headed by a lady named Nicole. But I can't seem to find the origin of 'neatnik' so maybe I'll leave that research up to my viewers. 

A: Why is your nephew Nicolas so messy?
B: He's just not a neat Nick. 

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

High, High Hopes

enable images!

 So I was listening to the radio and "High, High Hopes" came on and these lyrics just made more sense to me. The actual lyrics are "Mama said don't give up, it's a little complicated" rather than what I came up with. But yeah, mom life. 

Song: Mama saiiiiid - don't give uuuuuup - you're a little constipated
Baby: *grunting*

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Cereals of Catan


enable images!

I was eating my breakfast cereal and happened to look at the fine print on the box and saw this warning (Contents may settle during shipment) and clearly I had to draw this. Settlers of Catan is a fun game provided you put time limits on people's turns so one person doesn't make the game go on for hours (it seems like hours anyways - nobody can or wants to give you bricks so just move on!). Also, I really like Blueberry Morning BUT they are not a sponsor for this AND they probably don't want you to know that you can buy freeze-dried fruit at many grocery stores and just add your own blueberries to your cereal. Or strawberries or whatever fruit floats your boat. You probably could mortar and pestle the freeze-dried fruits and get a nice fruity coverage over all your cereal bowl - that could be tasty. I feel like there was a mythological figure that traveled around in a mortar and pestle, possibly Russian, let me look that up. I was right! It's Baba Yaga

Cereal Box Label: Contents may settle during shipment.
Voice 1 from cereal box: Anybody have a sheep?
Voice 2 from cereal box: Two bricks?
Voice 3 from cereal box: I NEED ORE!

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Stow All Carry-Ons

enable images!

This is another comic inspired by my trip to my cousin's wedding. Sometimes the flight attendant says things in a different way and it just strikes me differently - the way this one said to stow all carry-ons made it sound like everything on your lap over two pounds had to go, and yeah my little baby is quite a bit over that. I try to focus on what the attendants say, even if I've heard everything before, because that's just polite and you never know if you'll need to know something in the event of an emergency. I have noticed I pay more attention to some safety things ever since I had my child, because she's not gonna figure out any of this stuff on her own yet. Also, this was her third flight and she's less than a year old! She either handles it well, or it's a short enough flight that I don't feel too bad for everyone hearing her screaming (and most people figure it's her ears with the air pressure, not that she's just an ornery child). 

Flight Attendant: Anything over 2 pounds must be stowed for takeoff.
Woman holding baby: Even my BABY?!?!
Husband: *face palm*

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Wedding Doodles, Part 2


Enable images!

More doodles from my trip to my cousin's wedding. These just happened into my mind while there, and have nothing to do with the events of the weekend. The first one is a reference to the Untitled Goose Game, which I have not played but saw many references to when it was quite popular a while back. The first comic is a play on this idiom, and the second comic is a play on this idiom

Text of First Comic:
A: You know the saying, what's good for the goose -
B: Is bad for the villagers.
A: ...What?!
Goose: *holding knife in beak*

Text of Second Comic:
A: It's like they say, you can't see the forest - 
B: Due to rising pollution.

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Evidence Says Otherwise


enable images!

So nice when the evidence is clear like that. I think this was sparked by something said in an NCIS episode. The scene is something like "Here is what I think happened" then "But the evidence here says otherwise!" and the comic just takes that literally.

NCIS: How do you know he's not guilty?
FBI: We found this in the evidence locker. *Holds box labeled "otherwise"*

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Wedding Doodles, Part 1

enable images!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Have a safe, festive time. 

I was away for my cousin's wedding (congrats Alex and Janina!) and drew some comics while relaxing with my family. I probably should have inked these to make them show up better - we shall see if I ever get around to doing that.

Text for First Comic:
Flight Attendant: In the event of a water evacuation, leave everything behind when you exit the plane.
L: Even my BABY?!?!
M: *facepalm*

Text for Second Comic:
N: I'm just too tense to dance.
L1: Take a muscle relaxer!
L2: Then you'll have a whole other problem. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Gray Hairs

enable images

This comic makes more sense when spoken aloud. But also without the written text, it sounds rather morbid (since there isn't an audible difference between 'dye' and 'die'). The nice thing about getting some gray hairs is that people know your hair color is natural, so there's that. Also, as the song says, "I'm not afraid of getting older - I'm one less day from dying young." Embrace the age you are!

R: Wow, you are getting some gray hairs there.
L: Well, the alternative is to dye. 

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Dyer Emergency

enable images!

I mean, Go Ravens? I do think purple is a nice color, but I have no plans on dyeing my hair. And I just found out that's how you spell 'dyeing'! Because calling it 'dying' looked... wrong. 

The pun is that 'dire emergency' means an extremely serious or urgent emergency, and an emergency about hair dye could be considered 'dyer'. 

A: Aaaahhhh!!! I wanted black, but it's purple!!! [lady talking about her hair color]
B: That's a dyer emergency.

Thursday, March 10, 2022

Melanin vs Mesothelioma

enable images

So that's just a fun word to inject into conversations, especially if you're watching a period piece and someone has consumption or some strange illness. 

The pigment that determines how dark your skin is, is melanin. The commercials about class action law suits due to asbestos are how most people learn about mesothelioma. The hormone that helps you sleep is melatonin, and I didn't find a way to work that into this comic. 

A: Why are your freckles pink?
L: I don't have enough mesothelioma.
A: I don't... I don't think that's the right word. 

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Winning House

enable images!

I have been getting some ridiculous ads recently on my socials - so ridiculous that I have looked up if said item is for real and it has been every time I've looked into it. But it's a Catch-22 because if I look into it, then the ads think they won and they show me more of the same. Like a tower thing that was apparently so much better than a step-stool because those are just unsafe and a kid could fall off them. Or, what inspired this comic, a Smart Toilet. Companies make them; I don't want them; some things should just not be connected to technology. 

The phrase that this comic is playing off is "The House always wins," which is a phrase used in gambling to say that the establishment will come out on top, no matter the outcome of the games. At least, that's what I think it means and after a quick check, that does seem to be what it means. Couple this with every disaster movie showing how sentient ('smart') computers spell disaster for humanity, and that's why you don't want to automate your house. Or you could refuse due to all the security concerns with IoT. That's a bit more valid. 

M: I'm looking at some smart appliances for our home.
L: Don't automate the house! I hear it always wins. 

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Frog Eyes

enable images

 Closing your eyes when swallowing does not mean you are a frog, but keeping your eyes open when swallowing means you are not a frog! Do you know why frogs close their eyes when swallowing? Their eyeballs help push their food down their throat! Ew.

I kind of want to draw a Venn diagram to illustrate the logic here, but basically all frogs close their eyes when swallowing (draw a small circle labeled 'frogs') and many non-frog things close their eyes when swallowing (draw a large circle around the small circle and label it 'things that close their eyes when swallowing'). 

A: Frogs can't swallow with their eyes open.
B: So if you close your eyes when swallowing, you might be a frog!
A: ...technically, yes. 

Thursday, March 3, 2022

Shrimp Cocktail

 enable images

A friend told me about a misunderstanding she had about shrimp cocktail (she thought it was an alcoholic cocktail drink), and this comic was inspired. And I sincerely hope there is not a shrimp-based beverage out there because that just sounds disgusting and also right in line with those recipes from the 50's where everything was suspended in aspic and covered in mayo. They probably had a shellfish beverage. 

Congrats to my cousin who is getting married tomorrow! I hope the catering does not make a shrimp beverage.

Happy early Birthday to my Dad! I hope you don't get any shrimp beverages for your big day. 

Title: Shrimp Cocktail
P: This is the most disgusting drink I have ever had, and WHERE are the appetizers?!?! 

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Abstain from Whine

 enable images

Welcome to March! Let's march right in, haha.
Thought of this comic of the many times my daughter was whining. Usually it's a sign that she needs a nap, or at least some quiet rest time. Baby girl should abstain from both whine and wine, she's far too young for that. Also we attend a Baptistic church which does not use wine in the Lord's Supper so she is going to go a very long time before she gets any wine. 
On a related note, we were out with friends and Lucy was being a fussy pants and I told her to stop being such a baby. My friend was amused. I think it's humorous to tell a baby not to be a baby because it makes you realize that said baby is actually acting her age.

L: Baby Girl, please abstain from the whine.