Thursday, September 21, 2023

Sketchy Idea Trains

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This is related to the previous comic, as it happened shortly after our conversation about clothing that's older than our marriage. So many trains of thoughts getting all crossed like wires. Don't cross your cable cars, that would be bad. 

Text:
M: Let me sketch out my idea.
L: To replace your shirt?
M: No, I have a lot of trains going - this is about the flooring.

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Belated Anniversary

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Happy rather belated Anniversary to my amazing husband! I meant to post this over a month ago, but alas. It's posted now! 
So my husband recently replaced some old polos of his, and now I'm curious - how much of our wardrobe is older than our marriage? I know I still have some clothes from college... I haven't worn those items in a while. But they have good memories. We thinned out our wardrobe when we moved a few years ago because we didn't want to pack up stuff we didn't need - moving is a great motivator for decluttering. 

Text:
Title: Happy 14th Anniversary!
M: I think it's time to replace this shirt.
L: But it's older than our marriage!

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Happy Birthday Remake

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This is a remake of the first comic I posted to my blog way back in May 2012. It was in honor of my husband's birthday, and now the remake is for my own birthday! Please note the fine print, it's rather fine and makes the comic funny. 

Text:
A,C,D: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
B: wow you're old
E: thanks? 

Thursday, September 14, 2023

New Acquisition

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So we have relatives who've been bugging us to get a dog and also get a real couch for our basement (we've had two futons for the past like 14 years and they've worked fine in my opinion). But there's these Buy Nothing groups on social media and people just post things that they're getting rid of and someone posted a couch and I said YES and like two months later we got it. And we also got a ton of pet hair, but my man shop-vacuumed it off and we got a deodorizer spray and it now seems great! 

Explanation: both a puppy and a used couch have fur and smell doggy. 

Text:
L: We finally got the thing you've been bugging us about - it's furry and smells like a dog...
N&S: *excited noises*
L: A couch! Used but in cleanable condition.
N&S: *less excited noises*

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Failure to Communicate

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Haha, we are missing the phone there let's try that again:

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Much better, it's hard to read a mistyped text if you don't have a phone. 
This did not actually happen but I could totally see it happening because our children often need baths and also often need their nails trimmed (or rather filed because I don't like sharp little nails cutting me or them). 

Text:
M: He needs a bath in manure?!?
L: That was supposed to be "bath and manicure."
O: *vibing in my arms*

Sunday, September 10, 2023

Cerulean Dion

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Ever since making this comic, I cannot think of Ms. Dion's first name correctly (it's Cรฉline). 

We kept the genders of our children a secret before they were born and it was interesting to see how adamant people were that we were having a boy or girl when they had absolutely nothing to go on other than their feelings. Also, there was a time I dressed my daughter in a blue floral dress (with a flower hat) and I had someone say they couldn't tell if she was a boy or girl because the blue. That was a confusing conversation. And in case you're wondering, the shade of blue that is a girl's name is Alice Blue

Text:
B: Blue is a boy color!
R: Because clearly there isn't a girl name that's literally a shade of blue.
B: ... What?
R: You know, the famous singer - Cerulean Dion!

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Seis Leches

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Happy early Birthday to my mom!

So Tres Leches Cake has, as the name is, three types of milk in it - evaporated milk, condensed milk, and whole milk. I recently learned of Seis Leches Cake, which has six types of milk in it BUT two of them are non-dairy - sweetened condensed, evaporated, heavy cream, coconut milk, condensed coconut milk and dulce de leche. I'm lactose intolerant so the dairy would not be good for me. I need a dos leches cake with just the coconut and condensed coconut...

Explanation: "leche" means "milk" in Spanish so if you're trying to avoid dairy, don't eat any cake with that word in the title. 

Text:
M: Want some tres leches cake? 
L: There's 3 reasons I can't have that.
M: What about seis leches cake?
L: Surprisingly only 4 reasons I can't have that. 

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Mom Snacks

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Happy belated Labor Day! That's a day celebrating the act of motherhood, right? :)
Robin expresses this conversation with minimal words, but that's too hard to draw. Thankfully she normally understands "mom snacks" are not for her, provided she has her own similar snack.

Text:
R: I want some:
L: No, this is mommy's snack.
R: But you're my mommy!
L: Exactly, I gave you life out of my own - what more do I need to give you?!
R: Your snacks!

Sunday, September 3, 2023

Returning an Ebook

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Note: IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL MONTH OF THE YEAR!!!

My local library had a summer reading program and it was nice. My kiddos both entered it, and their tasks were like "read a book about numbers" or "read a book outside" or "attend a library story time" and they had to rack up 10 tasks and it was rather easy to do for them. As an adult, I got a booklet and I needed to read three books but they had a bunch of categories listed and suggested books for each category and it got me to read some books that I would not have otherwise. 

Disclaimer: You should return your ebooks the same way you rented them - through the app. Don't drop your phone in the book drop - it is a book drop, not a phone drop. 

Text:
A: How do I return the ebook that I borrowed from the library?
B: Drop your phone in the book return slot.

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Mess Making

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Yeah, that's life currently. The mouseover is good on this one :) Also, Robin has learned to say "nope" (really popping the "p") and "yeah yeah yeah" so that's something. She likes to say the latter when one of us are on a call and trying to have a conversation - it's not the best. However, Robin is pretty good with picking up after herself so that does calm down the house a bit - I do not like having things strewn all about.

Text:
M: What are we making?
L: A mess.
R: Yeah yeah yeah

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Missing Phone

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I got this idea after setting down my phone at my in-laws and thinking, "hey it would be annoying if I left this here." On a related note, I saw something about the Star Wars prequels and thought, this comic totally could have been a conversation between Obi-Wan and Anakin in their early days. 

Text:
S: Oh, Lauren left her phone here. I'll text her to let her know.
*Elsewhere*
L: WHERE - IS - MY - PHONE???

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Change Hater

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I feel like this every time a site I use changes. Does that make me old? Probably. But now I'm on Instagram and Facebook so hopefully this change is good? It's more of an addition than a change - I still have my site here but now I have new avenues for people to find me?

Fun fact: this is my second comic named "Change Hater" - here is the first.

Explanation: in order for things to improve, there has to be change. You can't stay the same and get better. 

Text:
A: I hate when *the site* changes!
B: You didn't like how it worked, so this is good?
A: I want improvements without change!

Friday, August 25, 2023

Instagram Announcement

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Special Announcement! I've started an Instagram page, and to make scheduling easier there is also a Facebook page! Follow/like/subscribe if you'd like to get my updates that way.

https://www.facebook.com/Comical.True.Story

https://www.instagram.com/comical.true.story

I will continue to post here on my site, which will send out emails if you have subscribed to that. But now you should see me in your feeds if you add me there! 

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Checking Boxes

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I was going to save this one up for election time, but this is the last of my pre-Instagram comics! That's right, all my future comics will be in Instagram dimensions so I had to either update this one, which would have been annoying, or just post it now and hope people remember it as they go into their election seasons. 

Explanation: You should not check both the Yes and No options in a yes/no question.
"Are you for *this* decision?" ☑Yes ☑No
"Are you coming to the wedding?" ☑Yes ☑No

Text:
A: Why don't you like this candidate? He checked all the boxes!
B: But they were Yes/No questions?!?

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Fun Gus

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I drew this thinking of Shawn and Gus from Psych. I like the mouseover I wrote on this one - you should check it out. 

Explanation: Mushrooms are a type of fungus, and "fun, Gus" sounds like "fungus." 

Text:
G: Why did you give me all these mushrooms, Shawn?!
S: You need to be more fun, Gus. 

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Spirit of the Game

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Catch the spirit? I feel like this would be a great Halloween costume. Would make you think a little bit to understand it. Could also be a fun addition to your local sports stadium. Some have the running of the presidents, another could have this. 

Explanation: A ghost is also called a spirit. 

Text:
A: This stadium is haunted!!!
B: Oh, that's just the Spirit of the Game.
SotG: *waving pennant and wearing a ball cap*

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Cashew or Not

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WHAT it's my 11/12 birthday? Just putting that out there.
I thought this up when I was putting mixed nuts into the food processor to make "peanut butter" but since it's mixed nuts that's not quite the right name but it sounds better that way. I like making my own because it's surprising what all is in commercially available peanut butter when it really should just be peanuts and maybe salt. 

Explanation: So "catch you" and "cashew" sound similar, and that's the word play here. Because the first speaker is a peanut, not a cashew, and wants to catch the second speaker, who claims to be faster and therefore uncatchable. 

Text:
Peanut: Imma cashew!
Almond: No, you're a peanut and I'm faster.

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Expert

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Word dissection can be fun - if a word seems to have a prefix, what are the other forms that can be made of the word? The only definition I'm finding for "pert" is "small or attractive" and that's unfortunate if you're an expert then. 

Explanation: "Ex" is often a prefix, like an "ex-girlfriend" or "ex-marine" and denotes a former role a person had. However, English is made up of many words from many languages and in this case, the word comes from the Latin expertus, But then again, "ex" meaning "former" is from both Greek and Latin meaning "out/out of" like "exodus" so maybe there is a mysterious pert that we need to define!

Text:
A: I'm not expert -
B: So you're currently a pert?
A: ...
B: When do you think you'll resign? Or get kicked out?

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Slow Fast

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So "Pokee" sounds like "poky" as in "The Poky Little Puppy" which is an excellent Little Golden Book, and "Xpress" is a stylized form of "express" which means "faster than usual" like express shipping which can cost orders of magnitude more than the item you're buying. So I thought the restaurant name was humorous. Maybe they meant it as a pun - there are a number of restaurants around me that have, if not puns, plays on words in their names.

Text:
M: There's a Pokee Xpress - want to get lunch?
L: Haha, slow fast. 

Thursday, August 10, 2023

Upside Down Smile

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So my little one is a fairly happy baby so this comic is depicting him smiling, just (Star Wars music) from a different point of view. To have an upside-down smile would be a frown, but if the person is upside-down then the upside-downs cancel out? If you are upside-down and frowning, would that be a smile? So many angles to take with this.

Text:
S2: He's smiling upside down!
S1: That's called frowning.
O: coo

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Swallow

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Both of my kiddos are droolers but for the baby that's normal - the toddler needs reminders to close her mouth and swallow. 

Explanation: "Swallow" is a type of bird and also an action where you keep the spit from falling out of your mouth and dripping on people, places, and things.

Text:
A: Do you still call your daughter Robin?
L: Well, nowadays we usually call her Swallow.

Sunday, August 6, 2023

Illegal Minute

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I forget which station plays this ad, but I hear it wrong every time and think of this instead. How much can be done in one illegal minute? I think of it as 60 seconds to break a law, rather than a minute that exceeds 60 seconds (breaking the laws of time, but time is a construct so everything is arbitrary, so hmmm).

Text:
Radio: It's time fore A Legal Minute with Yale Specter.
L: Illegal minute?!

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Testing Patients

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So I heard the phrase "testing my patience" and thought this up. If you are in the medical field, please find a way to use this at work. I saw some funny medical stickers that made me think of an EMT friend of mine, but I don't remember exactly what they said, just that they were funny in a medical way. One of them was something like "natural selection intervention squad."

Explanation: "patients" and "patience" sound the same but are different things (one is a virtue, the other is a category of people). To "test my patience" means you're being irritating, but "testing my patience" means you're checking the education of the people here to see the doctor. 

Text:
Dr: Are you testing my patients?!?
N: Yes, and they are flunking - this is basic pathophysiology!

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Lovely Moose

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Happy Anniversary ๐Ÿ’•

Explanation: "Dear" is a term of endeerment :) and sounds the same as "deer" which is an animal slightly similar to a moose. 

Text:
M: I love you, my dear!๐Ÿ’•
L: And I love you, my... moose? ๐Ÿ’“

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Queenly Children

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"Go get your brothers Peter and Eustice." 

Explanation: In the Chronicles of Narnia, Lucy is one of the protagonists while Jadis is a main antagonist. Please read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" - it is an excellent book.

Text:
A: How dare you insinuate that I have a favorite child??? They are both queens!!! Lucy and Jadis, we are leaving! ... why are you always fighting?

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Turned into a Cow

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Guys, I think this is the most hilarious movie and you should watch it AND also if you look up the behind the scenes of how it was made, it's just so ridiculous and they will never make another movie like it. So many quotable lines, but this one is my favorite. At my old work, I drew a cow in a Viking helmet on my desk's whiteboard and he just had the text "Ummm..." 

Explanation: In the movie "The Emperor's New Groove", there is a scene where a group of guards get turned into various animals. One asks their leader "Um, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" and she says "You're excused. Anyone else?" and they all look at each other and there are no more cows (just an ostrich, gorilla, octopus, etc.) so they say "Nope, we're all good!" and they continue on. It's quite humorous. This poster is satirizing the classic lawyer commercials about "If you or a loved one have been XYZ, you may be eliglible for compensation." Hmm, is it "have" or "has"? I feel it could go either way. 

Text:
If you or a loved one has been turned into a cow, You may be eligible to go home. *Cow wearing a Viking helmet*

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Fancy Water

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Over in Germany, the hotels we stayed at usually had water bottles in the room, and we learned that some were just water and some were seltzer - "Wasser mit Gas" - and I'm not a fan of seltzer. It's like a color that is mainly white but a drop or two of color - just enough to make you wonder, "is this blue or just white?" I want distinct colors and distinct flavors - not "water transported near a lemon."

Explanation: Berkey is a water filtration system. The word "Berkey" sounds like "burpie", and carbonated beverages (like seltzer) tend to make people burp. 

Text:
A: Would you like some Berkey® water?
B: Burpie water? You mean seltzer?

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Most Points

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Sometimes you have to break the news gently? The game in question was Play Nine, which is a rather simple and fun card game. Just like in golf, you want the least points in this game. 

Text:
J: Am I winning?!?
G: Well, you have the most points!
J: ... that's not good. 

Thursday, July 20, 2023

ABC Book

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 So we have this baby book and it's literally just A B C - no words or numbers to muddle up the message. There is a cartoony animal on each page, but it's not an animal that starts with the letter on said page - they seemed to have been picked at random. We also have a 1 2 3 book, but it actually counts up to 10. But the first three numbers are on the cover, meaning that the first page starts with 4. 

Update: I have made an Instagram page! But I'm still going to posting my comics here. I have changed my template size to be Instagram-friendly, so my new comics will be in the right format and will get posted over there as well as here. This should happen in a few weeks - I would like to finish out my already-created comics here, but I might mix in some Instagram-sized ones to see how they look over there. I'm also switching to using my kids' nicknames instead of real names, so you'll see Robin (gold crown) and Ori (silver crown) now in my comments. 

Text:
M: Does he have the ABC book?
L: You mean an alphabet book?
M: No, this one is just three pages. 
O: *holding baby book*

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Fly Fishing

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This is totally a normal fisherman and not someone going undercover (quite poorly) to get insider fishing information. Finding where all the best fish are? 

Explanation: I'm not sure what fly fishing is but I am fairly certain it is not fishing for flies. 

Text:
A: How was fly fishing?
B: Sadly, the flies were not biting today. 

Sunday, July 16, 2023

Coral Choral Chorale

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So many words sound like "coral" and mean totally different things - a color, a sea critter, an animal enclosure, putting animals in an enclosure, a musical number, and probably more! I couldn't fit them all in this comic, but I did look up the hex code for coral and used it for the bandanas. 

Explanation: chorale is a musical term and it sounds like corral which means to round up animals into a confined space. Basically this cowboy is going to have some musical animals but he really wanted them to be put back where they belong. 

Text:
A: Why did you hire a music director as a ranch hand?
B: He's gonna chorale the animals. 

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Dispensing Snacks Pleasantly

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 So much of parenting a toddler is just dispensing snacks. I believe my man was asking if he should give them to our toddler on a plate or in the snack trapper. I'm not sure how you would do what I said above, it was just the first phrase about dispensing that came to mind.  

Text:
M: How should I give the pretzels to her?
L: Dispense them as if they were pleasantries.
L2: Eat!!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Totally Different Movies: The Lizard of Oz

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My nieces came up with this when we were at a Wizard of Oz playground in the area - it's a super nice place! Pretty much everything in the playground is taken from the book, and it's very nicely done. No mentions of lizards, just the wizard. But it would be a cute twist if they were looking for the wizard but find a lizard, and a further twist would be if the lizard WAS the wizard. Would it be a highly trained lizard, or would it be a wizard who did a spell incorrectly and turned himself into a lizard? Who knows!

Text:
Title: Totally Different Movies Presents... The Lizard of Oz
Image: a lizard peeking out of a ruby red slipper.

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Hymn Singing

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I thought of this during a music service and now I think of it nearly every time the music leader uses this phraseology when explaining when we are singing the chorus. So clearly he's meaning sing verses one, two, then the chorus, then verse three etc. But the phrase could be taken to mean either singing verses one and two at the same time (would be the same tune but conflicting words) or we only need to stay together for the first two verses (would be discordant afterwards as everyone does what seems the right pace in their own eyes). 

Text:
Title: Hymn with four verses
P: Sing verses one and two together.
S: Like, at the same time?
L: Do we all go our own pace on the other verses?
Postscript: He meant skip the chorus between those verses.

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Daughter Glasses

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My sister gave us a pair of toddler sunglasses and my girl loves to wear them around the house. Sometimes she wears them outside but it's usually indoors. I've had to repair them a few times because she is not gentle with them, but they do bring her a lot of joy. 

Text:
M: She loves her sunglasses.
L: Don't you mean daughterglasses??
L2: *loving her ... tinted glasses*

Tuesday, July 4, 2023

States Not United

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This comic was inspired by current events, when that Wagner fellow marched towards Russia instead of Ukraine but then calmed down and it was all confusing? Who knows what the state of things will be by the time this comic posts. But I think of all the USA state names, Maryland is a solid contender for a new former-Russian country. Maybe Virginia, too? I feel like the states named after people (not Washington probably) are possibilities. So Carolina? Not north or south, just Carolina. And now I'm thinking through all the state names in a way I never have before.

Text:
A: What's on your mind?
B: I think that if countries want to break away from Russia, they should follow the example of Georgia and name themselves after USA states.
A: That's... a... interesting thought.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Allosaurus

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The first dinosaur is just a generic theropod, and the Allosaurus is a little scrunched up because I didn't size properly when I started drawing him. But I still like how they turned out. What colors were dinosaurs? We have no idea! My interest in dinosaurs started when I was in college and I saw the skeleton of a camel and realized the most distinctive feature of camels, their hump(s), is totally lacking when you just see the skeleton. We could be totally off about so many features! We haven't a clue about fatty deposits, or cartilage features, or spots vs stripes! There are a few that we have more information on, if they are found in solid mud and somehow extracted so the imprint remains. But it's all so fascinating! 

Explanation: An Allosaurus is a type of dinosaur. Some people say "allo" instead of "hello."

Text:
B: Why can't you say "hello" like a normal theropod?
A: Because I'm an "allo"saurus! 

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Chicago Problems

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♪♪"Scruff McGruff, Chicago Illinois, 60612"♪♪

Why do the jingles from your childhood stay with you for life? How did Scruff McGruff take a bite out of crime? So many questions. I never watched the tv show (I only realized there was one when I looked up how to spell his name because I figured it was like this but wanted to check because you know how you think something is one way your whole life then you get fact checked and your world is rocked?) but I heard the commercial about "taking a bite out of crime" so many times. I don't recall the plan to take a bite out of crime, but I knew the name of the bloodhound detective and his city, state, zip. Not sure if that was enough to mail something to him - maybe it was? What would you even mail to him - I guess evidence of a crime? Many questions remain. I don't recall the article that my husband was reading that made him give the above statement, if I did then I would link it here. But I don't think it's a disputed fact that Chicago has a crime problem. 

Text:
M: Chicago has a crime problem.
L: But Scruff McGruff lives there!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Waffle Math

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The recipe I use is this one and it's simple and tasty. I add spices to it to, ah, spice it up but it's a great plain waffle recipe. I have two waffle irons - a Captain America shield one (makes one shield at a time) and a dinosaur one (it makes five mini dino waffles at a time). To help the morning run smoothly, I make the batter the night before and my Mark cooks it up in the morning. 

Text:
L2: Should I make two batches of waffle batter?
L1: How much does one batch make?
L2: Four captains and ten dinosaurs, where five dinos equal one captain.
L3: Eat!!

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Toddler Dentist

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So it actually went well which was unexpected and very nice! Our dentist has a tiny chair, perfect for a toddler to watch what's going on while Dad gets his teeth cleaned, and they had her sit on his lap in the chair so they could take a peek at her teeth and get her acclimated to the tools like the water squirter and the suction tool (Mr. Thirsty). I waited in the waiting room with our baby because I wasn't sure if the toddler was going to tolerate the appointment, but she did not need rescuing! I heard the hygienist counting my husband's teeth, much to my toddler's delight. 

I'm trying something different in this post in that I'm leaving the comic image at the default "medium" instead of increasing it to "large" - I was thinking it comes through a little pixelated in the emails that send out when it's "large" so I want to see how this looks. 
UPDATE: So the size change didn't seem to change anything with emails BUT it does make the comics a bit small on the website so I'm going back to setting them all as large. So no change anymore. 

Text:
L: Are you ready to bring our toddler to the dentist?
M: Who knows how it will go!
L: I think I know how it will go...
L2: *oblivious to the impending dental visit* 

Thursday, June 22, 2023

Favorite Color Confusion

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So this came up because my husband's work had a lunch which had an unexpected "ice breaker" section and my man really dislikes being put on the spot and also dislikes picking favorites so I think he was able to just avoid the questions but one of the questions was "what's your favorite color" and I thought up this. 

Explanation: "Charcuterie" is a plate of cold meats and cheese, maybe with olives and such, usually used as an appetizer at events. "Chartreuse" is a shade of green named after a green liqueur (for some reason I always think chartreuse is a dark red, it just seems like that should be what it is, but rather it's a bright green so I'm totally wrong with my thinking there). 

Text:
A: What is your favorite color?
M: Charcuterie!
A: ... Do you mean chartreuse?
M: Nope!

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Dairy Interactions: Sugar

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True Story - we were at a buffet restaurant and the waitress asked if we would like ice cream because they serve that for you and this happened. I usually ask for clarification when the server doesn't seem to take "non-dairy" seriously or something just seems off. I'm glad I did ask for clarification because sugar-free and dairy-free are very different things and I can't tolerate one of those (or really both because I do like my sugar and usually sugar-free means they're using something as a sugar replacement that is probably bad in its own way). 

My other comics about Dairy Interactions: 1 2 3 sadly I forgot to add the header to this one and I'm not sure it will fit with how much text there is so *shrug*.

Text:
W: Would you like ice cream?
L: Do you have dairy-free?
W: Yes, vanilla.
L: ... it's dairy-free?
W: Yes, well it's sugar-free.
L: Yet still from a cow.

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Pride and Joy

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Happy Father's Day to all fathers, especially my father, my father-in-law, my grandfather, and my husband! I am very blessed by the strong fathers in my family. Can't forget my brother-in-laws! They are excellent uncles to my kiddos. Someday my brothers could be fathers and that's just a weird concept for me to grasp because in my mind they are the little kiddos that saw me off to college - I kinda struggle to see them as adults but that's what they are now. No more thinking about that! Reach out to the excellent fathers in your life and tell them that they are excellent! 

Explanation: A group of lions is called a pride. A common phrase when talking about your beloved children is "my pride and joy." 

Text:
Father lion: You all are not only my pride, but also my joy.
Cub 1: Daaaad
Cub 2: Stop, you're embarrassing us. 

Thursday, June 15, 2023

Whine Cellar

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The salesperson in the previous comic sold the whine cellar to this fellow. Everybody needs a place to voice their complaints? My toddler has started whining a lot in the car and it's quite unbearable. She tosses her toys away from her car seat then whines like she's bored. I'm like, girl, the solution was in hand and you rejected it. And she's like, whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. It's not the best time being had. 

Text:
A: Why do your kids go into your basement to voice their complaints?
B: It's the whine cellar.

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Biers and Cellars

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One of those is more of a niche market than the other. But how do you sell a cellar to someone? That seems like a cart before the horse situation, but I'm not totally sure how to use that phrase so I could be wrong. 

Explanation: "Biers" sounds like "buyers" and "cellars" sounds like "sellers." A common phrase is "buyers and sellers." 

Text:
A: You specialize in flammable funeral rites and also underground storage?
B: Yep, Biers and Cellars!

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Alligator Tears

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Why does everyone call fake tears "crocodile tears"? Also, I always have to look up the difference between a crocodile and an alligator. They are both nopes in my book and I hope to never see either in the wild. 

Text:
H: Quit your crocodile tears!
A: I'm an alligator!

Thursday, June 8, 2023

Weak-End

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I believe there is a quote from Downton Abbey where the actress who played Professor McGonagall asks "what is a weekend?" (I haven't seen the show but I've seen enough clips to get the main gist of it I think) and after reading something about back-end development vs front-end, I came up with this comic. 

Explanation: In software development, there's front-end and back-end (among many other things). The character in this comic is adding a third option, weekend, i.e. do you prefer not being at work. There is a misunderstanding since "week" and "weak" sound the same. 

Text:
A: Do you prefer front-end, back-end, or weekend? :)
B: What is weak-end?

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Accounting Book

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This came up because my sister-in-law gave an adorable book to my daughter, and Lucy loves to "read" it and I find it enjoyable to read to her. You can guess the title by the blurb mentioned in the comic :) It actually does a surprisingly good summary of the book in just 10 pages, using the numbers 1-10. Also, it only has the number and the item (i.e. six fingers) with the illustration on each page, so I'm able to read it at the pace my daughter flips the pages (not a feat achievable in most books). 

Explanation: "a counting book" is a common book for young readers which teaches them to count, usually from 1 to 10. "accounting book" would be something a college student studying accounting would have, and would not be appropriate reading for a toddler. The two, however, sound the same. 

Text:
M: She's reading a counting book from her aunt.
N: An accounting book?!? She's two!!!
L: Six fingers!

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Pomegranate Pool

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I heard this fact and thought this thing. The tip is intending you to just put the pomegranate in like a bowl of water, submerged while you break it apart. Then the fruit juices don't squirt all over the place, leaving red streaks across your cabinets and ceilings and such. Fun times cleaning all that up. But I guess opening the fruit in a pool would qualify, it would just leave a red streaky mess in the pool and yeah that might be worse. 

Text:
A: I like pomegranates, but opening them up makes such a mess.
B: Oh, you can break them open under water to limit the juice spray!
A: So like, in the pool?