In-laws

 

This realization hit me when I was writing the word "in-laws" recently, I don't remember the context but I wanted to let you all know this factoid. So the next time you're in a conversation and there's a weird lull, you can share this knowledge (and probably make it weirder). "AWS" stands for "Amazon Web Services" and I recommend looking them up to get a nice explanation of what all they do because I am not going to think up a succinct summary of what it is. 

Text:
L: You can't spell "in-laws" without "AWS." 
M: ... I'm not sure what you want me to do with that information. 

Toddler Time

 

I mean, it's all just numbers to a toddler. Saying something happens at two o'clock is meaningless, but saying it's a little bit after lunch means she'll demand it when she takes her last bite of sandwich and that's still a problem, just a different one. Maybe it's like software development, when you eliminate an error message so you celebrate - ignoring that a different error is now showing, that's irrelevant. 

Text:
L: Hmmm, what time is it?
R: Forty-eight!
L: Excellent guess, but it's 2:51pm. 

Many Happy Returns

An early Happy Birthday to my little Robin, wow it's been a few years (literally). So apparently "many happy returns" is from British English and other variants of British but not American. But there was a tv show named that about a returns department manager and that's an amazing title for that premise. There's also a Sherlock mini-episode named that. Who knew.

Explanation: "Many happy returns" is a well-wishing phrase, and some people have many items to return (unknown if the items are happy).

Text:
M: Here are the returns.
L: Are they many and happy?

Blink182

 

True story, except this exchange happened in the car and it was a bumper sticker on someone else's car - but I prefer drawing stick figures over cars, so this is my interpretation based on a true story. Punk bands were very popular back when I was in high school but way back then I just listened to music on the radio and knew nothing about the artists so I'd know all the lyrics and music but be clueless about the band. One way this showed up was when I was quietly singing something around the house and my husband asked "is that Yellow Card or Green Day?" and I didn't have a clue (I don't recall the song so I can't say which one it was). 

Explanation: This is basically like when my grandparents tell each other that all their friends are getting old, what is with that?

Text:
L: That's a Blink182 sticker - how old is she?
M: She looks about our age.
L: ... yeah, that checks out.

Sleep Sack Physics

 

Both of my kids have/had the ability to walk around nearly unimpeded by their sleep sacks (the toddler doesn't wear one anymore but she did for about two years). A sleep sack is like a nightgown that's sealed at the bottom, or a sleeping bag with armholes. They're very nice for when your kid is too small to keep a blanket on and you don't want them waking up cold at night. I don't understand how my kid walks around in one - it shouldn't work, per my mind, but it does. My daughter would walk from her room to our room in the morning like no problem here, just strutting along. Maybe this skill will help them in life somehow...

Text:
M: How did he do that - he's in a sleep sack?!?
L: He doesn't let things like physics stop him. 

Bronze Lining

 

For those unfamiliar with this game, the goal is to have the least points. Oh, a bonus version below? 

You win some, you lose most? I'm pretty sure that's how that saying goes. 

Explanation: The goal in the game is zero or even negative points. 82 is not a good score. But it's cool that 28 and 82 are reverse of each other! Seeing something good in a situation is "seeing the silver lining" so it makes sense that seeing a cool thing that doesn't actually help the situation improve is "seeing the bronze lining." 

Text:
L: Well, that's cool - I got 28 points and that takes me to 82!
M: You found the bronze lining! I got -12.

Man Myth Legend

I'd watch that movie. I just recently watched "The Ballad of Nessie" which is a short film on Disney+ and was a nice little animation. There are many movies about Nessie, so why not make another? I watched a fascinating documentary about the Loch Ness many years ago and I don't recall any identifying info about it other than the summary that there could be a whole school of Nessies deep in the Loch which has so many caverns and a totally uneven floor so you can't use sonar to find what's down there. Also, I made the fake movie title to a similar cadence of the main Narnia book. 

Explanation: "The man, the myth, the legend" is a way of describing a super cool person. If you think of it instead as three separate nouns, then you get a man (the person), a myth (Nessie), and a legend (the thing in the corner of a map that describes what's there). 

Text:
Title: Coming to a theater near you: The man, the Myth, and the Legend
*image of a person, the Loch Ness Monster, and a map with a legend*

Dad's Shoes

 

Happy Birthday to my Mom-in-Law!

So I like to give my toddler options (not show above for brevity but it would have been like "rain boots or black shoes") so I don't just pick one arbitrarily and she has a meltdown because it's the wrong one but if I give her unlimited options she will either (1) pick an impractical one or (2) dither over options for far too long. But sometimes she doesn't like the options I give however that can be fine provided the one she wants is practical. Thankfully in the case above she was just being silly and knew she was being silly so I was able to redirect to a more practical choice. 

Text:
L: Get your shoes on - which pair do you want to wear?
R: Daddy's!

March Madness Giants

 

So my in-laws do a March Madness bracket nearly every year and last year I won! I always pick UConn going all the way and that carried me to victory. This year I stuck with my tradition however many others joined my bandwagon and basically I only had UConn correct after the first two games. So I did not win this year BUT I did not come in last which is where I was until UConn won the big game. I picked my teams alphabetically this year, whichever team was further in the alphabet went further in my bracket, and yeah that was a bad plan. I made an alternate bracket with the opposite strategy, and it did waaaaaay better. I also made an alternate bracket where I picked all underdogs (other than UConn) and that one did about the same as my actual bracket, so that shows how badly I picked. Whoops. One year I picked my teams based on who had a higher scrabble score - I don't remember how well I did then. 

Explanation: There's a phrase "a giant among men" to mean someone really stands out in a good way, and I adapted it for when everyone is over 6' by a good margin but there's one who's sizeable bigger.

Text:
Title: March Madness: Purdue
L: That man is a giant among slightly smaller giants.
M: He's 7'4". 

Toddler Songs: Lullaby Edition

This is a true story. I have been singing Edelweiss as a lullaby to my toddler for a while now, and just recently she added her own words (singing over mine). She also has been adapting more of her songs, like singing "No more daddies jumping on the bed" instead of "monkeys" - I am sure she gets this from her parents as we tend to make the song lyrics work for whatever we need (granted, we often know songs with the lyrics we need, no change needed, but she doesn't know that). 

Text:
Title: To the tune "Edelweiss"
L: ♫ Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep my darling 🎝
R: ♫ Wanna stay awake, stay awake 🎝

Toddler Songs: Church Edition

 

So yeah this happened. I aim to keep my kids with me through the hymn section of the service and put them in the nursery before the sermon begins, but my toddler has been wanting to skip the 11am service altogether and just do nursery for the whole time. She really likes the toys and workers. My baby, on the other hand, wants to be with me the whole time and has been crying when I drop him off in nursery. But the workers say he's been warming up to them and he does like the toys so who knows - maybe both will be clamoring for nursery before I know it. 

Text:
Title: At Church
L: ♫ Amazing love - How can it be 🎝
R: ♫ Nursery - wanna go to nursery 🎝

Foolproof Plan

 

Another foolproof idea :) I think many horror movie victims would be saved by a foolproof plan. Or maybe the clowns aren't all evil anymore - I was never into horror movies and still am not interested at all in them so who knows. My main association for clowns is from PBR since my grandparents liked watching that and there the clowns are the good guys, distracting the bulls when a rider falls. 

Explanation: Like the previous comic, clowns are also called fools. When you have something foolproof, that means nobody can mess it up but it also could specifically mean that a fool (clown) can't mess with it. 

Text:
A: And you're certain the clowns cannot foil our plan?
B: Yes, it's foolproof. 

Foolproof Brownies

 

Happy Birthday to my sister! And a belated Happy April Fool's Day to everybody. It didn't seem right to post this the day before the holiday as that was Easter, so you get it belated. I could have posted it a day early, but that's not my schedule and I rarely deviate from it. As for the comic, I saw an ad about foolproof brownies and thought, oh I guess those aren't for clowns. I'm not sure what the recipe was however I did Google for recipes and found these: 1 2 

Explanation: Clowns are also called fools. When you have something foolproof, that means nobody can mess it up but it also could be taken to mean that a fool can't get it. 

Text:
C: Why can't I eat this?!?
L: They're foolproof brownies.