Tune the Car Musically

Happy early Birthday to my father-in-law, sister-in-law, and nephew! So many birthdays this weekend. 

Explanation: Tuning a car and tuning an instrument are not very similar but we use the same word for both. Why is English like this.

Text:
A: Are you ready to tune the car? *holding a wrench*
B: To the key of C. *holding a tuning fork*
A: What?
B: What?

Forearms

 

Oh, the English language. 

Text:
L: You have syrup on your forearms.
R: I don't have four arms. 

Winter Driving Tips

Stay safe out there. Which means, don't follow this comic's comical advice. 

Happy early Birthday to my littlest brother! How are you a college senior you were like 3 when I went to college.

Text:
A: Winter driving tips?
B: Match your driving speed to the weather.

A: Excellent advice.
B: So if it's 20F, drive 20MPH.
A: I take it back.

A: ... summer driving tips?
B: Match your driving speed to the humidity.
A: That explains Florida drivers.

Be Anything But

 

So this is was created while my husband was playing DOTA2. In the first step of the game, you pick your character (called heroes) but you can ban heroes as well so people can't pick them. It's all a strategy move. 

Text:
A: You can be anything you want to be!
B: They banned my preferred hero.
A: You can be anything you want to be as long as it's not Zeus/Storm Spirit/Dragon Knight!

Not a Train

 

My son received a cute wooden car carrier with three little cars and he loves playing with it but he makes it chug along because he likes trains and his sister is not cool with that misrepresentation. 

Text:
O: Choo choo!
R: That! is! not! a! train!!!
O: ... choo choo!

Vintage and Spoiled

 

As it happens, this one came from a sermon doodle and it's included below. The sermon title was "Divine Urgent Care" which made me think of "the vine urgent care" which would be a fruit/vegetable taking care of some wrinkly grapes but that'd be hard to draw so I changed it up. 

Explanation: It's a play on "looking your age" but with wine it's vintage not age. Also when milk goes bad it's spoiled (not just a bad attitude but that would probably contribute). 

Text:
Milk: You are looking your vintage.
Wine: You are acting spoiled.

Shrimp Chicken Quack

 

He really does know his animals, he just sometimes fails under pressure. But really, what child actually *knows* what shrimp is? 

Text:
M: This is shrimp.
O: Chicken! Quack!
M: Wrong on all accounts, buddy.

Eternal Sickness of a Toddler Winter

 

Some days it be like that. Why are kids the best at sharing germs? It's like they won't give you the remote but they will sneeze directly in your eyeball. No snuggles at bedtime but all the snuggles when a tissue is direly needed.

Oh, here's the sketch this one came from:

Text:
Title: Eternal Sickness of a Toddler Winter
R: It's my turn to mutate the virus!
N: *handing over green blob* Ok, give it back when you are done.

Tool Search

 Not much to add.

Explanation: Calling someone a tool is an insult. The awkward pause makes it seem like the worker is self-labeling an insult. 

Text:
Title: Home Improvement Store
L: I'm looking for a tool. *shows phone*
W: Well, I'm right here.
...
W: And! I can help.

No Solution Desired

My child does not like waiting for me to finish my breakfast tea. I don't like rushing into the day. We are at an impasse. But as far as solutions go, I'm super grateful for my Yeti tumbler (not a sponsor) - I got it at an Alumni meetup from my college and it works wonderfully. It keeps my tea hot for hours! One time, I made boiling hot tea at 9am, sealed it and put it in my car out in the winter weather, then didn't drink it until after lunch around 2pm and it was perfect drinking temperature. If you're a parent who keeps getting pulled away from their tea and coming back to a cold cup, I think this is an excellent solution. 

Text:
R: Play with me!
L: I want to finish my tea first.
R: Use a fermos*
L: I don't want a solution.
*thermos

Penne for your Thoughts

 

You rigatotally had me there. If you want to know the difference in these noodles, see here: https://www.paesana.com/blog/lets-talk-about-pasta-the-difference-between-penne-ziti-and-rigatoni 

Explanation: "Penny" and "penne" sound similar and "penny for your thoughts" is a normal phrase. 

Text:
A: Why are you handing me a pasta noodle?
B: Penne for your thoughts?
A: That's rigatoni. 

Toddler Logic

 

Some days it be like that. This is a true story, depicting Oriole dumping out the freshly tidied up toys. But kids want to play and learn and not stick with your schedule. 

Text:
M: Why are you doing that - that's not helpful!
L: There's your answer.

Second Try

 

It's probably not fine, but we're gonna click the red button to surely find out! I thought this one up in a conversation with my brother, but I don't remember the context. 

Text:
A: Third time's the charm!
B: But this is the second try?
A: Yep, I have a bad feeling about this attempt.