Wine Cheese Candy Pairings

 

And a Happy New Year :) I have not done this but I am considering. Please remember that all information online is not to be taken at face value. Sometimes when people say to mix M&M's with your uncooked popcorn then pop or say to put a pickle slice inside your chocolate chip cookies, they are just wrong. Check those vibes. 

Text:
L: I want to make one of those wine/cheese/candy pairing lists.
M: But you're lactose-intolerant and dry?
L: Gonna run it on vibes only. 

Elijah the Turtle

 

She's holding two Magnatiles like a book there. She was being very creative and yet not very creative. I like how kids hear a word and break it down into words they know. You get some interesting results. 

Text:
R: This story is about a turtle named... Elijah! And another turtle named Elijah. And... a gorilla named ...
L: Melchizedek.
R: Yeah, a gorilla named Milk Cow. 

Keep the Spares

 

This is a great organization hack until your item gets discontinued so the peripherals run dry OR they update and don't keep the old peripherals for sale OR if you need the side items in an urgent way and can't wait for shipping. There are a few caveats, so keep that in mind. 

Explanation: it's hard to remember where the spare parts are stored, and if you can't find them then maybe you just need to order more, and on that note why not just order new when you run out rather than keeping more on hand?

Text:
L: Where do we keep the spare filters for this?
M: ... on Amazon!

All I Want for Christmas is...

 

Merry Christmas Eve!

How dare someone not cue in to the lyrics you're quoting. But a Merry Christmas can still be had! By sharing your heart or something like that? Don't give it away the next day though - that's rude. 

Explanation: Maria Carey sings "All I Want for Christmas is You" and the lyrics start out "I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need" then resolves with the title so that's what I was going for here. (By him saying "nothing comes to mind" he's implying that he doesn't want her.)

Text:
L: Do you want a lot for Christmas?
M: No.
L: Aw, is there just one thing you need? 💗
M: Nothing comes to mind.

Angel Harold

 

"Lo, how a rose e'er blooming," ... "As angel heralds said"

Explanation: "Herald" and "Harold" sound the same and I thought of this while singing the song "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming" last year. 

Text:
A: Who said there was an ever-blooming rose - the gardener Harold?
B: Nope, different Harold. 

Christmas Stockings

 

I feel like this song needs a solid update - nobody should be gifting a hammer with tacks to a child. That's just inviting bad decisions. A whistle is ok, if you're a fan of shrill noises. A whip? Maybe they're an Indiana Jones fan. I think the ultimate stocking stuffers are socks and candy. Maybe some soap or little trinkets. Nothing that can harm someone or damage furniture. 

BREAKING NEWS: Super Simple Songs has an updated version! Here it is! No weird gifts listed!

Text:
D: Where are the Christmas stockings to hang up?
M: We aren't putting them up after last year, with the whips and tacks. 

Jingle Baal Rock

 

That's the Jingle Baal, that's the Jingle Baal, that's the Jingle Baal Rock! I keep typing "ball" instead of "baal" because one of those words is much more common that the other. Also this comic brings to mind someone else's post about Lord of the Rings with a Jingle Balrog. 

Explanation: stone=rock, Canaanite idol=Baal, festive sleigh bells=jingle.

Text:
A: Why does your stone Canaanite idol have festive sleigh bells?
L: That's my jingle Baal rock.

Because I Want To

So my preschooler often explains her reasoning with simply "because I want to" and yeah that's not what we're looking for usually. This is basically a Christmas comic because around Christmastime there are SO MANY GOODIES that have dairy and are SO hard to resist. 

Text:
M: That has dairy - should you be eating that?
L: Nope.
M: Why are you eating that?
L: Because I want to.
M: Wow, quoting the three-year-old. 

Honey Bug

 

Nobody tell him?

Explanation: Honey is from bugs. Bees, to be specific. It's, well, regurgitated by the bees. Yum!

Text:
A: I cannot BELIEVE some people want us eating bugs - YUCK! I don't want to eat anything to do with any bugs!!!
S: Would you like honey in your tea?
A: Yes, please. 

Alphabetic McDonald Farm

 

Mash those songs together, little man! He doesn't know his alphabet (other than the first four letters) but he does know his animals and sounds. Usually. He does not like to perform so when asked he usually quiets or does the wrong one. You do you, I guess?

Text:
O: 🎵 Now I know my E-I-E-I-O 🎵
L: Remix! Or mashup? Medley!

Turkey and Mistletoe

 

As I wrote this, I was thinking of the t-shirt I saw somewhere that postulated "Surely not everybody was kung fu fighting." Anyways, pausing this song right hear changes the meaning quite a bit (the full phrase is "Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe helps to make the season bright").

Text:
A: Surely not everybody knows a turkey, and mistletoe too!
B: You'd be surprised...

Obedience When In View

 

Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law! So many birthdays this week.

Oh, the honesty of preschoolers. We have rules, people, and they aren't just when Mom is around.

Text:
L: No standing on chairs, my girl.
R: Oh yeah, no standing on chairs when Mom is in the room.
L: ... wait a minute.

Birthday Celebration

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my sister!!!
So Chick-Fil-A had these Conversation Starter sets as the prize in 4+ kids meals, and we got some a few times before I remembered that they weren't doing the Peaceable Kingdom games anymore (those are great for my preschooler - not so much for the conversation starters). 

Explanation: There's a phrase "shoot for the moon" which means (quick Google AI Overview) "to set a very ambitious goal, aiming for something that might seem difficult to achieve, even if it means you might not reach it completely; essentially, strive for the best possible outcome, no matter how challenging it appears."

Text:
L: Where would you like to celebrate your next birthday?
M: The moon.
L: Well, that's something to shoot for.

Common Pitfall

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my aunt!

Classic Benaiah. Also, I had to Google "common pitfalls" and find one that fit nicely into this conversation.

2 Samuel 23:20 - "And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was a valiant man of Kabzeel, a doer of great deeds. He struck down two ariels of Moab. He also went down and struck down a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen."

Text:
A: The lack of clear objectives is crippling, Benaiah!
B: That is a common pitfall. And you know, friend -
A: Wait, pit? NO -
B: when you're in a pit -
A: Dude, it was one time!
B: always check for snow and lions!