Define n00b

The person was wearing a periodic table shirt similar to this.

Wedding Cassowaries

Know what a cassowary is? When provoked, they are 'occasionally fatal.' NBD.

Spring In Your Step

Hahaha nope! Might get more snow.

Hand It Over

I saw a form that had 'hand this to so-and-so when filled out' and thought this up.

Sluggish

Haha molluscan humor :)

Pet the Dino

Totally worth it.

Give Yourself a Hand

Real Housewives of Genesis

That's terrifying.

Sports Foul

Wait, is this the one where you kick the ball?

Head or Foot

This is a hard-hitting biology question here.

Smoke Scented

Genius!

Valentines Day Rookie Mistake

Let this be a lesson to everyone - say what you actually want. Don't play stupid mind games.

Worse Than Karaoke

Chew Gum and Kick Butt

Don't be fooled - Double Bubble really doesn't last that long so he could be through both those buckets in a few hours.

Flowering Weed

Adapted from my favorite Lewis Carroll quote, which is an excellent example of a false dichotomy.