Second Rodeo

 

Happy New Year! Almost. This year brought me into a whole new parenting phase, with two kiddos. This comic was spawned by a phrase I saw somewhere along the lines of "I didn't realize I needed to know everything by my second rodeo - that is still a very low number of rodeos."

Text:
A: What's it like, having two kids?
L: Feels like my second rodeo. 

Spice Organization

 

Being with family over holidays makes you realize that there are just so many ways to do common things. Some are more intuitive than others. This is not based on a totally true story - the actual even was my mom looking for something in my spice cabinet and it is all organized by first letter but she wasn't seeing how it wrapped to the second shelf or something like that. But after drawing this I realized how many spices have 'a' as the second letter. Organizing by second letter just makes you look at words in a whole new way. 

Text:
L1: I thought you said that your spice cabinet was alphabetized?
L2: Yes, by the second letter.

Help from Apolo

And now to draw a speed skater:

True Story, if I were to be an Olympian I would like to be a speed skater. I just think that'd be fun, skating super fast. Due to this, Apolo Ohno is probably my favorite Olympian.

So for Thanksgiving I was making a Colossal Coconut Cream Pie which has a huge meringue on top and it was a little stressful to get that correct. It was a super good pie though, let me include a photo:

I'm not sure if that picture does it justice but it was tall and toasty (my spouse bought a kitchen torch for me and it was a little tricky to start but works great and I've made two meringues and a 6-pack of crème brûlée). As for calling on Apolo, I was stressing and started rhyming. And for some reason I was thinking about the Hershey Gold commercials from the last winter Olympics (Apolo starred in them and set me off on a quest to find the candy which is what commercials are supposed to do). 

Text:
Title: Separating eggs for a meringue

L: Oh no - oh no - calling on Apolo...
M: How is a speed skater going to help with this?
Bonus:
AO: You rang?

Snack Cake Merrily on High

 

Merry Christmas Eve! I hope you have a simply wonderful Christmas time. Remember the reason for the season - the Savior of the human race came down to Earth to be born and live a sinless life, to be the perfect sacrifice to atone for our sin. Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!

Text:
C: Do you know the other verses of "Ding Dong Merrily on High"?
A: 🎵 HoHo merrily on high 🎵
B: 🎵 Twinkie 🎵

A Spinosaurus for Christmas Repost

I originally posted this one on Dec 25, 2018 and it's one of my favorite Christmas comics. I like the Spinosaurus - it has a cool history of discovery and I recommend a deep dive if you have the time. 

Text:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh
I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
Only a Spinosaurus will do
No Velociraptors, no Triceratopses
I only like Spinosauruses
And Spinosauruses like me, too!

Yonder Pheasant

 

This is my attempt at a kingfisher and chickadee. I thought "what bird is nice and royal?" and figured the one with "king" in its name would fit. And I wanted the (checks lyrics of song for rank) page to be a bird with a hat, so one with "cap" in its name fit perfectly. 

Explanation: In the song "Good King Wenceslas," the good king asks his page "yonder peasant, who is he?" and I thought "peasant" and "pheasant" were close enough to make a bird version of this song phrase.

Text:
K: Yonder pheasant, who is he?
C: He's a quail, my good king.

Twelve Days of Christmas Repost

 

This one was originally posted way back on December 8, 2012! And it took me a while to find it because my search wasn't working and I also didn't write much on the posts back then so I needed to remember the title and I did not. I know there's symbolism in this song but when you think of the gifts in actuality, it's a bit weird. Also I recall reading somewhere that gifting someone 13 waterfowl is not an act of true love, but rather an act of violence, especially since the geese were in nesting mode. And that's just the waterfowl! There's nine more birds, for a total of 22 bird gifts. Most people could not handle that. 

Text:
Lady on phone, holding 5 golden rings and with 5 of the bird gifts in the background: Please stop all further shipments. 

Twanging Midnight Clear

 

And now this is what I think of instead of the proper lyrics. 

Explanation: the proper lyrics are "to touch their harps of gold" but I thought "twang" instead of "touch" and this comic happened. 

Text:
M: You know you're in the country when the angels twang their harps of gold.
L: But the midnights are actually clear out here.

Up on the Housetop Repost

 

A repost from Dec 23, 2021. A throwback to a song that I misheard the lyrics of until a few years ago, so that's like thirty years of thinking reindeer had paws for some reason. 

Text:

S: ♪ Up on the housetop reindeer pause - ♪

L: Reindeer don't have paws - they have hooves. 

Wenceslas Introductions

 

I did not realize how many comics I have done about King Wenceslas, but it seems to be only four. The fourth one is scheduled for later this month. Here are the earlier two! 1 2 

Text:
W: Yonder peasant, who is he?
P: My good king, we need to work on your introductions.

Green Sleeves Repost

 

A repost from Dec 18, 2016.There were a few years (2015-2017) when I used a whiteboard instead of drawing my comics. Before this, I would draw (on paper! with pencil then pen!) and scan in and crop each image and it was tedious but I do like physically drawing things. After the whiteboard era, I went digital. It's much simpler and I like how it looks, even if it doesn't have all the feeling of a hand-drawn comic. But I still hand-draw cards when the need arises. 

Explanation: The Christmas song "What Child Is This?" uses the tune "Greensleeves." 

Text:
A: The kid with the green sleeves lost his nametag.
B: What child is this?

Platypudding

My brother sent me the fact that platypus have both eggs and milk and therefore can make custard, so of course I had to look up if you really could and you CANNOT! It's illegal and they don't lay unfertilized eggs and also the eggs are tiny and they sweat out their milk so how would you even collect that. But then I was already on the platypudding train (I later realized that custard and pudding are not quite the same but we're already here dying things teal and giving out fedoras).

And now for some lyrics to hear incorrectly:

Explanation: The platypus is an anomaly since it's a mammal (has milk) and also oviparous (lays eggs). Custard requires eggs and milk to make. There's a famous platypus that's teal and wears a fedora (Perry, or rather Agent P).

Text:
A: Why are you looking up if a platypus can lay unfertilized eggs?
B: They have both eggs AND milk! You know what else has eggs and milk?!?
A: I think they're the only - 
B: Custard!
A: That cannot be legal.

Months of the Year Part 3

 

Happy almost Birthday to my sister!

A final appearance of the OctoBear for this year? Time will tell. We have left October so it's not very likely for him to show up again. Just completing the calendar for the year. Happy December! 

Text:
Months of the year, January through September, ending with the OctoBear holding a turkey and Santa. 

The Only Way

And I just felt these characters who I don't have rights to would fit so nicely in this comic.

 A favorite annoyance in superhero movies is when the main character says "it's the only way!" when it's really not the only way, it's just the most convenient way for the plot. I'm remembering a cartoon clip where something bad is coming to Earth and Superman offers to move Earth out of the way to which Batman replies something like "I don't have time to list all the reasons why that's a terrible idea." 

Text:
S: It's the only way!
B: That cannot possibly be true.
S: ... It's the only way that I'm willing to try.
B: Clearly.

Baby in Retrograde

Happy Birthday to my niece!
This conversation happened a few weeks ago. I believe I read somewhere that Mercury is always in retrograde? Nope, per this article it's three or four times a year for three week periods. I'm not sure what that means but some people use that to govern their emotions. Babies like Ori don't have much governing their emotions. Maybe planetary guidance would be an upgrade. Haha, so much grading.

Explanation: there is a phrase "Mercury is in retrograde" and astrology says that does something to you and your relationships. This comic is using the similarities between the words "degrading" and "retrograde." 

Text:
M: His mood is degrading.
L: Like Mercury.
M: Nope!
O: WAAAA!

Super Babies

 

A wild Oriole appears! I believe this is another one that I wrote for Robin but it hung out in my to-be-drawn folder for long enough to be applicable to Ori rather than her. I imagine this is a group of moms meeting up after getting their babies from Sunday morning nursery. 

Text:
L: If your kids were superheroes, what would their names be?
A: Super Pooper - she can't be contained!
B: Clog Buster - who you gonna call?!

Thanksgiving Repost

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

This was originally posted back in 2019. I often struggle with making comics for a given holiday before the holiday - I usually get ideas when celebrating said holiday but at that point it's too late so I have to write down the idea in a place where I can find it in a year. 

Explanation: Turkey Recovery Day (the day after Thanksgiving) is for people recovering from eating too much food. Turkeys don't recover on that day because they have been eaten the day before. 

Text:
L: My work gets Thanksgiving and the day after as holidays.
M: Oh, Turkey Recovery Day, nice.
C: I don't think the turkey is going to recover.

Grocery Prices

 

One day I took Ori with me shopping while Mark and Robin stayed home and when I returned home I brought the groceries in first since Ori was sleeping in his seat and I wasn't ready to disturb him so this comic happened.
Please note that this is a joke and I did not barter for groceries (who even does that) and also yeah I still have both kiddos. Baby was out of sight for like a minute while safely secured.

Explanation: In fairy tales, the ultimate price to pay is usually your firstborn. Seems like someone asking for your second-born would be a discount. 

Text:
M: Where is the baby?!
L: I traded him for groceries - they weren't asking for a first-born so I figured it was a good deal. 

Off-line Brain

 

An excellent response to someone questioning a poor decision. The scene depicted is reminisce of someone putting regular dish soap into a dishwasher instead of using the proper gel/tab/powder that goes in the dishwasher. Don't do that unless you want to bubble-bath your floor. 

Text:
A: Do you have a brain?!?!!
B: It's off-line!

Every Sequel Movie

Many movies fit this comic, but I needed a specific one where the main character was clear from a stick figure drawing so...

 

I haven't seen the latest Indiana Jones movie so I don't have a specific issue with it, but I believe the reviews agree with me here. I know why studios make the sequels, I mean why leave money on the table, but often it sours the whole series and you should just call it while people are asking for more rather than going until people are asking you for less. 

Explanation: Movies often wrap up their storylines in a nice way by the end of the movie, so when a sequel comes along it's like "forget that happy ending, we're using these characters more!"

Text:
Title: Every Sequel Movie
A: We need you to come back!
I: No, I'm retired.
A: But you were the best!
I: I know, it's called quitting while you're ahead.

TotK Trees

 

This is a video game reference, so if you haven't played The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, maybe just skip this comic. I think it is a beautiful game with excellent gameplay and nicely expanded characters from the earlier Breath of the Wild game. 

Explanation: there are some bad trees in TotK, and when you start the game it's like OH NO WHAT IS THAT but by the end you're like UGH AGAIN why. 

Text:
Title: Post-TotK
Z: Of course the trees are alive, Link, why are you warnting me about that??
L: ...

Tent Eater

I made this comic way back when Robin was in this phase, and I found the comic again as Oriole is in this phase. That tent is great, and apparently tasty. With two kids, it's nice to have a spot for baby-only toys so I know he's not getting into toddler things. 

Text:
L: There's my child - surrounded by toys, eating the tent.
R: *in small tent, ignoring the toys and chewing on the side panel*

Family Game Night Again

I've made a few comics about family game nights, and the more I have then the more I make :) Playing board games together is usually a great time... 

Explanation: there's a movie WarGames with a famous quote (about nuclear war): "the only winning move is not to play." 

Text:
Title: Family Game Night
M: The only winning move...
L: Yep.

Denying Culpability

 

I forget what exactly inspired this comic, but it totally happened (I provided the voice for little Oriole since he's not at the talking stage yet). And now I am imagining my toddler trying to repeat "deny all culpability" - Robin's in the highly repetitive phase so anything she hears could be parroted by her. Apparently too many people have told her "good girl" when she does something, so now she tells us "good girl" when we do something for her (i.e. I help her get into a chair - "good girl!", her dad holds a door open for her - "good girl!").

Explanation: Little kids using big words is hilarious.

Text:
M: Why did you do that?!
O: I deny all culpability.
M: If you know that word, you can't deny it.

Hat Selection

Robin has several hats that she seems to like equally and will swap between them on any given day. If you thought she'd wear them all together, well she hasn't tried that yet. But that reminds me of another comic...

Explanation: "Wearing multiple hats" is an expression describing being busy filling several roles. 

Text:
L: Which hat are you going to wear?
M: I often ask myself that question.
R: *holding two hats while wearing a crown, which is like a third hat*

Months of the Year Part 2

An updated calendar for the new month we have entered!

Text:

January February March 

April May June 

July August September 

OctoBear holding a turkey!

Death to Cupid (repost)

 

This was originally posted on February 10, 2022. It was a Valentine's Day comic, but I think it fits for Halloween too. I didn't have any inspiration for Halloween this year (I don't really like the holiday - too many creepy things) but one of my kids has a koala suit and the other has a fairy costume. They're both cuties. 

Text:
Title: Death to Cupid
Death: Stop making people flirt with me!!!
Cupid: No

Inconsistent Bread Pudding

 

This is the same person that looked for the recipe for Soup du Jour. And now I have that song in my head - "Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres, why we only live to serve!" 

Explanation: Bread pudding is made using the day-old pastries, so the ingredients change based on what was leftover the day before. Sometimes it has raisins, sometimes it has nuts, it all depends on what was tossed together. Sometimes they don't have it on the menu because there weren't enough leftovers! Much like soup du jour, it depends on the day.

Text:
A: What do you think of this bakery?
B: They don't have a consistent bread pudding recipe. 

Food for Thought

 

I'm reminded of a comic I saw about a vampire saying "it's the thought that counts, and I'm the Count that... thoughts." And now I want a snack as I try to remember what sparked this comic. I'm pretty sure it was a discussion while making dinner. 

Text:
M: Well there's some food for thought.
L: I'd rather dine and dash.

Baby Teeth Rate

 

This is like the "you did the math wrong but got the right answer" situation. People have 32 teeth and I looked up when an average kid gets all their teeth, and it is when they're about 88 weeks old. Also there's 88 keys on a piano. Surely that's relevant.

Explanation: Getting one tooth a week does NOT mean you'll have them all in 88 weeks - you would have them all at 32 weeks if that were the case but it's NOT and it turns out 88 weeks is about 22 month and if you get your two-year molars in a little early then yep. 

Text:
L: He got his first tooth last week and another popped up this week! At this rate, he'll have all his teeth in 88 weeks.
A: No. But, sort of, yes?

Donuts vs Vinegar

Apparently it's a healthy thing to drink apple cider vinegar and people who do that like to abbreviate it to ACV. I much prefer ACD and at time of scheduling I'm still trying to find a farm that has them in stock - they are best from a farm that has an apple orchard, that's just a fact of life. I really miss New England at times like this. 

Explanation: Apple Cider Vinegar is a healthy thing people drink. Apple Cider Donuts are super tasty and are a happy thing to eat. 

Text:
A: Have you been having your daily dose of apple cider vinegar?
L: Oh, I thought you said ACD.

Bluey Card

 

The show "Bluey" is a pretty good kids show, with competent parents and good lessons learned and each episode is like 7 minutes so you aren't locked in for half an hour or whatever. Robin really likes the show and she doesn't understand that "bingo" is more than just a cartoon dog's name. Also she says "watch" when she wants to watch a show. 

Explanation: On the children's show "Bluey" there are the main characters Bluey and her sister Bingo. The phrase "that's not on my bingo card" means that something unexpected and/or surprising has happened. I'm not sure what would be on your Bluey Card - maybe "silly games" since they do those nearly every episode. 

Text:
M: I didn't have that on my bingo card.
L: Did you have it on your Bluey card?
R: WATCH!

Folding Fitted Sheets

 

Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law!

So this one is from a few summers ago when I found out that not everyone knows how to fold up a fitted sheet. I learned in college because I had a speech class which had a demonstration speech as one of the projects and I did origami but someone else very helpfully did how to fold a fitted sheet and I have used that knowledge every time I have to fold a fitted sheet. [You have to line up the corner seams and nest them together and make a rectangle then fold as desired.] 

Text:
*taking down a picnic canopy*
L: We just need to fold it like a fitted sheet.
N: So, poorly?

Do the Best

Clearly, set your sights high? I drew this one a while ago and I think it was inspired by the phrase "the enemy of the best idea is a good idea," either that or the good-better-best progression. But please use this comic's response whenever someone calls you a do-gooder. 

Explanation: This is a play on "best" being better than "good." 

Text:
A: Who are you, some do-gooder?
B: *scoff* I'm a do-bester. 

Neewollah

 

Happy Birthday to my niece!
So I thought this up after Halloween last year and held onto it for a whole year and what do you know, October 13 is indeed a Friday! Celebrate by.... asking people who come to your house to give you candy? That would be a surprise to the solicitor. 

Explanation: Halloween is on October 31, and if you reverse those numbers you get 13. If you flip the word "Halloween" backwards you get "Neewollah." And Friday the 13th is traditionally unlucky, which fits the Halloween vibe of black cats and such. 

Text:
A: Why are you so excited about October 13 being a Friday?
B: *holding a jack-o-lantern, wearing a witch hat* Neewollah :)

West Virginian Hair

 

And now I have the "Country Roads, Take Me Home" song stuck in my head. So the slogan of West Virginia is "wild and wonderful" and I wasn't sure how well known that fact is so I wanted to include it. Robin's hair is getting curly and she has spectacular bedhead which needs to be tamed so it isn't WV. 

Extra pun: the "state" of her hair is WV. Wanted to make sure everyone catches that.

Text:
M: Darling, just look at the state of your hair!!
R: It's West Virginia.
M: Yes, wild and wonderful.

Tempural Consequences

 

So a few weeks ago, my pastor mentioned "temporal consequences" when teaching about the life of David and the king's sins. I thought "temporal" sounded like "tempura" and here we are. 

Explanation: Stealing is bad. A temporal consequence of stealing could be jail time and a criminal record. A tempural consequence would be getting the item coated in a thin batter then deep fried. 

Text:
D: You're battering and frying the vegetables that I stole?!?
N: Tempural consequences!

Science Perfumes

Happy late birthday to my nephew and early anniversary to my sister and brother-in-law!

There's a joke about the opposite of formaldehyde being casualdejekyll, which a friend of mine said sounds like perfume names, and here we are. 

Explanation: Formaldehyde is a compound that I thought was used to preserve the specimens in high school biology dissection labs, but after reading the wiki pages I'm not seeing that use so *shrug* it's a compound with many uses. The joke is if you break up the name you see the words "formal" and "Hyde", and the opposites of those are "casual" and "Jekyll". 

Spoilt Children

 

A great response when someone says that you're spoiling your kid, is to take it to the next level and act like that's normal. Maybe someday I will be bold enough to say something like this. Who knows! 

And I just realized I already have a comic titled "Spoiled Children" so I guess it's a good thing that I titled this one "Spoilt Children."

Text: 
A: So spoiled - are you going to get her a pony?
M: Don't be ridiculous. Two ponies, otherwise the one might get lonely.
R: *eating ice cream*