Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Number Two on the List

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I mean there's not much else to say about this one. In my defense, we're potty training a toddler over here so bathroom talk is just an everyday subject.

Text:
SP: My constipation is over!
LP: That's number one on my list of things I didn't want to know.
LC: I thought it'd be #2.

Sunday, July 21, 2024

Shofar So Good

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I thought this up at my cousin's wedding reception when I saw my niece standing on a large rock and blowing on a big stick that had a distinctive twist in it. I have only heard a shofar once, and that was back in college when I was leaving my Bible class - I heard a peculiar noise and looked over and there was my future brother-in-law, blowing a shofar in front of his class. Apparently they had waited until the class hour was over so that they wouldn't disturb the other classes, but this meant that many students witnessed this event.

Text:
M: Is that ram's horn working out as a trumpet for you?
P: It is shofar.

Thursday, July 18, 2024

Odometer Reading

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Clearly, since Europeans flip the month and day when writing the date [May 3 is written 3/5 rather than 5/3] then they also flip the beginning and end of the year [2024 becomes 2420]. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Also, why is "dyslexic" such a difficult word to spell???

Text:
M: The odometer was at 2420, so this year if you're dyslexic. 
L: I think that's how they write the year in Europe.

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Literary Baseball

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And now that's what I'll think the book and team are called. I remember reading it in high school and not liking it, but being forced to do things tends to paint said thing negatively. 

Explanation: the baseball team is the Seattle Mariners. The book is called Silas Marner.  

Text:
M: It's the Orioles vs. the Mariners, so that's Baltimore Orioles vs. -
B: The Silas Mariners. 

Sunday, July 14, 2024

No Hare Out of Place

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My pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 11 last week and he titled his sermon "Not a Hair Out of Place" and that spawned this comic. 

Explanation: "Hair" and "hare" sound the same but mean very different things. This comic plays on the phrase "not a hair out of place" which means everything is in order. And if the rabbits are all back in their enclosures, then things would all be in order. So it works both ways?

Text:
A: Did you get the rabbits all back in their enclosures?
B: Yep, not a hare out of place anymore.

Thursday, July 11, 2024

Captcha Fail

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This is a true story because there was a bug when creating a Steam account from the app that it wouldn't let you pass the Captcha. You had to create your account in the web browser then you could use the app to login. It was frustrating. 

Explanation: Failing a captcha over and over can make one questions their humanity. Maybe I really can't see which squares of the grid have bicycles. 

Text:
M: Did you open a Steam account?
L: No, it convinced me I'm a robot. 

Tuesday, July 9, 2024

Ruler Ruling

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I hear that's a perk of being a ruler. You can just measure things because you are the ruler - who are those peasants to say that something is a different size? Or maybe you can just perfectly eyeball any object. I've heard it both ways.

Explanation: Yet again, rulers are a tool used to measure things and also a term for a leader, in this case a princess. I don't have any more ruler comics queued up but you never know, I might need to measure something and instead make a new comic.

Text:
A: I can't eyeball it - I need a ruler.
B: It's 2'x3'. 

Sunday, July 7, 2024

Ruler of the Office Essentials

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Scissors, you are being divisive. 

Explanation: A ruler is a tool to measure things but also is a term for a leader, i.e. the one in charge.

Text:
S: Why is he in charge? He just measures things.
P: He's our ruler.
R: *existing* 

Thursday, July 4, 2024

Ruler Returns

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Happy Independence Day! I still haven't seen Hamilton but I have listened to the music and King George III has some great songs. 

Explanation: A ruler is a tool to measure things, but it's also a term for the leader of a country. 

Text:
A: I hope this fits and I don't need to return it.
B: If only we brought a ruler ...
KG3: ♬ You'll be back, soon, you'll see ♬

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

July Fourth Medley

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Get ready for the Independence Day concerts! We can only hope they pick someone who can truly sing the national anthem because you need a range and it can be done quite poorly. I saw a ranking somewhere of all the singers who've sung the anthem at NFL games and it was rather fascinating. But I don't remember where it was. But this would be an interesting medley to hear - each singer picks a song on the fly based on the last word of the previous phrase. 

Text:
A: ♬ O say, can you see -
B: ♬ See clearly now the rain -
C: ♬ Raining, oh baby it's raining, raining ♬

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Day of Birth

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I feel like if you know this answer, you're faking your identity. But now that I've posed the question, you might be curious what day of the week you were born. I know the day of the week for my kids but not for myself. 

Explanation: When verifying your identity, sometimes the questions are rather specific. Most everybody knows what day of the month they were born, but we don't log the day of the week. I considered asking week of the month, but if you're in the first week you probably know that.

Text:
S: Please verify your identity: on which day of the week were you born?
L: ... what?
S: DENIED!
L: Uh, Monday? [How many guesses do I get?]
S: DOUBLE DENIED!!

Thursday, June 27, 2024

No Auto Idle

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Speaking of new car features...

Explanation: The car salesman is talking about the auto idle system which is what "automatically switches the engine off at traffic lights and other brief stops, eliminating wasteful fuel consumption." However "idle" and "idol" sound the same and can lead to misunderstandings apparently. 

Text:
S: This car has auto idle-
M: NO IDOLS IN MY CAR!!!
L: DOWN WITH BAAL!!!

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Car Safety Features

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Some new safety features in cars are quite intrusive, but many safety features are just nice to have and help you drive more safely (like warning you that someone is in your blind spot). If you feel like this comic is targeting you, maybe reevaluate how you drive?

Text:
*redacted*: I can't stand all these new car safety features - turn them off!!! I don't want it telling me how or where to drive!!!
L: Quick question - would you want to be driven by someone who drives like you?

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Car Color Options

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Well that would be unfortunate. Yes, the drab color name is from a quote from one of the Pink Panther movies. 

Text:
S: Car color options are Radiant Red, Disgusting Drab, or "Color of the Day" which is where we mix up the leftover paint cans. 
M: Yeah, we'll take Radiant -
S: Oops, we're out of red. 

Thursday, June 20, 2024

Accent Wall

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And now when you want an accent wall in a room, you know what kind of decor is needed. 

Text:
A: Around the corner here is an accent wall.
*Lime green wall with signs reading "Howdy" "y'all" "Pa'k the ca'"*