Waffling Politicians

 

Sometimes I skip steps in my conversations. I've been using a Krusteaz buttermilk waffle mix but using the measurements from a King Arthur mix and sifting the mix really makes a good difference. They're super fluffy and tasty. Also, making the batter in the morning is way better than making the night before and chilling in the fridge - it tends to deflate in the cold. 

Text:
M: Those politicians keep changing their stances!
L: Oh, we're out of eggs.
M: *confused*
L: They are waffling and I want waffles so I could make the batter BUT...
M: Ah, I see.

Spit Back

 

Based on a true story, this conversation went all over the place and none of those places were expected. I don't think that's how you assert dominance with llamas but you never know until you try? Also I'd like to know the neighbor's thoughts when you have an off-the-wall political slogan sign with a non-election year on it. 

Text:
S: The meat is spitting at me!
L1: Treat it like a llama and spit back - assert dominance!
S: ... treat it like Obama???
L2: I already made the signs. 
Sign: SPIT BACK 2025

Tearable Idea

Halloween disclaimer/warning: today's comic is a little gross so if you're squeamish maybe skip it.

You have been warned.

Proceed at your own risk.

There's not much else to say about this one. I debated posting it for a while then realized it could work for this holiday that's all about icky things. 

Explanation: I'm not gonna explain this one. Just think it through and notice the terrible/tearable pun. 

Text:
A: Holding a baby while wearing dangly earrings is a terrible idea.
L: Yep, tearable. 

Intentional Grounding

And a bonus version:

I sometimes come up with multiple versions of a comic and today's is an example of this. My little one likes to say "uh-oh" for intentional actions and, while cute, is not the proper verbal cue for that situation. Sometimes you need a ref to add order to your life. I've heard of life coaches, but not life referees. There's a market to get into on the first level or whatever they call that.

Text:
O: Uh-oh!!! *threw down his duckie*
L: That's not an uh-oh - that's intentional grounding.
Ref: intentional grounding!

Marble Race

 

This situation has been rectified (in that I have bought marbles). On an unrelated note, my preschooler's half-birthday is today! This means we should watch the "CinderElmo" movie because I recall a scene from it:
King: How old are you?
CinderElmo: three and a half.
King: I now declare you four! 

Explanation: To "lose your marbles" is to not have full control of your mental facilities, and that is how it feels so often when dealing with children (either describing you or them). 

Text:
R: Want to Marble Race!
L: We cannot because all the marbles in this house have been lost. In both senses. 

Nose Sucker Campaign

 

Trying to keep my kids from perpetually having colds is a full-time job. I'm trying to teach my preschooler to blow her nose by putting tissue paper in a cardboard tube and trying to get her to blow it out with her nose but it's a work in progress. Until that skill is unlocked, she must have the alternative used on her. 

Text:
L: The "Say  Yes to the Nose Sucker" campaign is not going well.
M: *pondering*
R&O: No No No No No No No No No No No No 

Tilt the Graph

 

It's an upward curve when you flip it over, like turn that frown upside-down.

Text:
A: How are the sales numbers?
B: We're on an upward trend - just tilt the graph.

Final Meltdown

 

I wrote this one a while ago but it's still very valid. Especially with the toilet training. But it's getting easier with Robin just in time for things to ramp into overdrive with Oriole. Yay. Also I wrote a similar comic back in March so that could be why I feel some déjà vu. 

Explanation: There's a hard rock song "Final Countdown" but I changed the lyrics to be parenthood related. 

Text:
M: It's the ♫FINAL MELTDOWN🎝 *electric guitar noises*
L: Nope, this is probably third out of seven for today.
R: *scream crying*

Manly Bugs

 

Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law! 
The mind of a preschooler is truly amazing. She knows what ladybugs are, and if it's not a ladybug then clearly it must be the opposite. What I think is impressive is that she now knows what lanternflies are and will point them out to me to squash because she knows that's what we do. 

Text:
R: There were bugs outside!
L: What kind, ladybugs?
R: No, not ladybugs.
L: Manly bugs?
R: Yeah, manly bugs.  

DOTA2 Under Attack

 

I always think this line is funny because, you're in a fighting game and he's all outraged/surprised like what did you expect man? For people to not attack you? But to be fair in the game it's physical attacks not verbal, so he's right to be surprised/outraged in my comic here. 

Explanation: Enchantress is half-deer and very protective of the forest I believe so she would have a problem with someone whose main attack is shooting fire out his mouth. 

Text:
Title: DOTA2: A Day in the Life - Dragon Knight
Enchantress: Dragons are HORRIBLE for the forest - fire destroys everything good!
Dragon Knight: I am under attack!

Stay as Long as You'd Like

 

Our two hours of enjoyment have expired and we are ready to go home. There are definite perks to being an introvert couple, like we're both ready to leave a party after the same rather short time, but it is hard when neither of us want to go to a thing but we should go to the thing. It was looking like our preschooler might be an extrovert, but she recently has been asking "why are we going out and about?" and wanting to stay home so maybe things are changing. 

Explanation: The host is encouraging everyone to stay and socialize, but the couple has drained their social batteries and will not be swayed. 

Text:
Title: Introverts
H: No need to rush out - stay as long as you'd like!
L: Oh, we have. 
M: *holding hand, ready to leave*

Carousel Communication

 

Did you know that some antique stores have carousel horses for sale? Sometimes they aren't full-sized, more like 3/4-sized, but some have full-sized ones. Sometimes they have the original paint job, while others have been painted one solid color, to make them seem more like a classic statue. And yes, the horse has the pole in the middle just like on the carousel so it's on a stand like that. I don't think it's a good addition to a household with small children but maybe someday. Until then, maybe a music-box-sized one will do. Why would I want a carousel horse? It could be because my grandmother has a few in her house. It's certainly not because I wanted to write carousel so many times - I think I know how to spell it by now. 

Text:
L: A carousel horse would fit nicely in our house.
M: We don't have a carousel horse. We aren't getting a carousel horse.
L: Maybe in the front room, or behind the couch. 

Monster Trucks and Toddlers

 

That's fair. 

Text:
L: We could take the kids to a monster truck rally.
M: Aren't those extremely loud?
L: So are the kids.
R: ROAR!
O: rawr!

Mad Method

 

Sometimes people just don't see things the same way as you. Specifically the way you sort things. The phrase I'm playing on is "the method to one's madness" which means that there is often a reason behind someone's mysterious behavior. But often does not mean always. And sometimes someone's method is just madness. 

Text:
L: There's a method!
M: But it's madness!

Traffic Lights

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my niece and nephew! I remember when my nephew was a toddler and I was riding in the back seat with him and he would say "red means go!" and laugh uproariously. I think that was when I taught him how to play rock-paper-scissors. Anyways, I went to college in Florida so I know about the beach warning flags and the purple flag means dangerous wildlife. I don't want to know what kind of area needs a purple option on the traffic light. My girl was just being silly.

Text:
R: Red light means stop! Green light means go! Purple light means...
L: Dangerous wildlife.