Paid Tools

 

A true conversation with someone in the software engineering field. 

Explanation: Being called a tool is not a nice thing, basically just a brainless worker. Paid tools in software engineering are pieces of software that cost money instead of using the free versions. They are generally nicer and some are worth the money. With free software, as with most things, you get what you pay for. 

Text:

Title; Software Engineering
M: My company doesn't let me use paid tools.
L: That means you're the paid tool!

Jira Opportunities

It's actually "Work Item" instead of "Issue" but I like my version better. What Jira Opportunities are you working on today? 

Explanation: Jira is a type of program management software, which is something that teams can use to track what they're creating or fixing, and individual items in there were called Issues but now they're called Work Items. I've heard plenty of quotes about seeing issues as opportunities, to get you to reframe your mindset about a situation. 

Text:
M: Jira is rebranding, so now Jira Issues is - 
L: Jira Opportunities?