Mustard the Troops

Last comic of 2018! Time to get your act together? Fit as many puns in as you can! It's the best way to spend your time, clearly.

Text:
G: Why are my men covered in a yellow sauce?
P: You told me to mustard the troops.
G: ...I'll catch up with you later.
P: I don't relish that.

Pencil In Plans

Sometimes I doodle comics during meetings. This one is on the back of a page-a-day calendar page which is showing through a little. It's a Liz Climo comic calendar and I've enjoyed it all year. I also enjoy when meetings have concrete details.

A Spinosaurus for Christmas

If someone has the pleasure of recording this amazing cover, please send me a link.

I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
Only a Spinosaurus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinkey tinker toy
I want a Spinosaurus to play with and enjoy

I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use a dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door
That's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a Spinosaurus standing there

I want a Spinosaurus for Christmas
Only a Spinosaurus will do
No Velociraptors, no Triceratopses
I only likes Spinosauruses
And Spinosauruses like me, too

(Original songwriter: John Jefferson Rox)

Christmas Fringe

Oh, those lovely cats. I do not have any pets and I would not like to ever have a cat (I am very much a dog person - I enjoy pet sitting for friends).
We got new Christmas stockings last year (well, post-Christmas sales the year before but last year was our first year using them) and they are Captain America and Iron Man (from their Civil War movie). I like them a lot. Our previous ones were the classic red with white trim. I considered crocheting stockings for us but realized that is A LOT of work and I really like our Marvel ones so I'm not gonna do that any time soon.
Also, I can't call something "in" without thinking of the Netflix "Series of Unfortunate Events" episode where they were declaring absurd things fashionably "in" and "out" - that's the episode with the Salmonella Restaurant and that part had me crying with laughter.

Text:
W: The cat destroyed the stockings and the tree skirt!!!
H: Well, I believe fringe is in.

Shaved Chocolate

And this is a classic example of why you don't use non-food-safe implements in the kitchen.
On a much tastier note (which really wouldn't take much) I noticed several outposts of Girl Scouts selling their wares around town and I bought three boxes - I love the Thin Mints, I've enjoyed the Smores, and the Lemonade ones are always good. I helped the kids learn math skills because I paid with a $20 and the boxes are $4 each.

Text:
M: Why is my Gillette razor in the kitchen?
L: I needed to shave some chocolate for this cake.
M: *BLEH*

Tobias and Phobias

Well that's just taking name rhyming a bit too far. There's a comic about name rhyming in the Pickles comic - Pearl considered marrying Earl and naming their kids Merle, Burl, and such, Oh, here it is.
I'm all for naming your kids on a theme, but maybe don't use non-name words to make the theme work. Maybe just pick a new theme.
Now the question is, how do they pronounce Phobias' name? I would think they make it fit the cadence of Tobias rather than pronouncing it the correct way. Which would just be annoying for the entirety of that child's life.

Text:
P: Here are my kids, Tobias and Phobias.

Aria and Cadence and Staccato

We were at my sister-in-law's church and there was a family who's kid was named Cadence and I started thinking why are some musical notations name-worthy but others aren't? Well, per a quick Google search for 'musical names for children' (I was trying to find the comic/post that inspired this where it starts out with normal musical names and slowly gets to ridiculous ones) there are quite a few musical terms that some people deem name-worthy but I don't.

Text:
S: You've met my sisters, Aria and Cadence.
F: Oh, now you're name makes more sense, Staccato.

Olive and Pimento

A pimento is a type of pepper that is used for a variety of things but specifically it's the red thing stuffed into green olives. I'm not sure why some foods are considered name-worthy but others aren't.
We were watching a show called Manifest but stopped because we realized we didn't like any of the characters on the show. One of the characters is named Olive and her twin brother is called Cal and I don't know his full name but I've decided it's Kalamata (which is a type of olive).

Text:
P: Here are my kids, Olive and Pimento.

Hill and Dale

For some reason, my siblings don't appreciate my name suggestions for their kids. I feel like these kids would be great at hide and seek - you'd be searching everywhere to find them.

Text:
P: Here are my kids, Hill and Dale.

Stewart and Stewartess

On a similar theme, maybe don't name your kids too similarly - people will never get their names straight and won't even try because they have an excuse ("I just can't keep them straight"). I remember there's an old Disney channel movie about motocross and the twins are named Andrew and Andrea but both go by Andy.

Text:
D: Here are my kids, Stewart and Stewartess.

Wearing Multiple Hats

I thought this one up during a meeting as well. You know there are so many kinds of hats out there, but it's hard to think of ones to draw when you need to make a stack of them. Yes, he's holding the Fantasia hat and a fez.

Text:
B: You are so good at wearing hats - here are two more for you!

Beating a Dead Horse

I sketched this one during a meeting (it was a virtual meeting so they couldn't see me doodling). Sometimes (haha, all the time) communication is hard and we keep trying to get a point across but it's not landing and it's just painful.
And yes, that's a Princess Bride reference - such a quotable movie.

Text:
(people holding bats, standing around a dead horse)
A: Are we done here?
B: No, it's only mostly dead.

Also, Happy Birthday to my eldest sister!!!

Guest Comic: Shortness

This comic is by my nine-year-old nephew - it's a rather good one on perspective. He told me he's drawn it before, so maybe he'll keep making comics, then start a comic blog some day and I can draw a guest comic for him!

Text:
Tiny person: I'm short.
Average person: So am I!
Giant: I'm not!

Guest Comic: Wacky Bird

My five-year-old niece drew a self-portrait and a wacky bird.
I enjoy fostering a love of drawing in the kids when they visit. They like using my tablet - I closely supervise and help them find the best tool for the job.

Becoming the Christmas Tree

Now that it's after Thanksgiving, it's time to decorate for Christmas! If you wrap up your Christmas lights around a cardboard roll (or even a rolled up magazine), it helps them not tangle and it's still a fairly compact way to store them.

Text:
M: I was trying to untangle the lights, but now I am the tree.
L: TINSEL!

Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Happy early anniversary to my friends Amber and Jeff! I thought this up right around a year ago. Their wedding was lovely and also a little nippy as it was the end of November but beautiful Fall weather (and nobody fell so that's always a good thing). I remember when my sister got married in October and my mom was worried about ice or snow but that was New England which is a bit colder than Maryland. Also that was a few years ago. Like 11.

Thanksgiving Orc vs Orchestra

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your time with family and/or friends and hopefully you can relax and be thankful for what you have without having work or other distractions intrude! A big thank you to those who have to work on major holidays to keep the rest of us safe.

This was inpired by an email sent out by our music director who abbreviated orchestra to orc. 

Text:

Orchestra: Come ye thankful people, come...
Orc: I'm grateful that meat's back on the menu!

Chuck and Angus

There are so many themes one can use when naming children. What is the name of Chuck and Angus' sister? Bessy, of course. I wouldn't go with this theme. You could be like my parents and name them in alphabetic order.

Text:
B: My brothers Chuck and Angus are both wrestlers.
A: I think they are beefcakes.

Bird Sanctuary

I realized after writing that I didn't specify - the location is a church sanctuary, not a bird sanctuary. This comic is inspired by a true story - our church had on two occasions a bird intruder. I believe the one that was on a Sunday morning was able to be safely removed. The other one got in somehow without anyone noticing so the first people on a Wednesday walked in to see what looked like white paint splattered all over the lobby and then there was a search for the bird body... So after these events I considered doing the above but didn't. Didn't want to stress out people.

Text:
L: There's a bird in the sanctuary!
S: No, not again!
*L shows S a plastic pink flamingo*

Bitter Biter

Well that would be terrible. We just watched a puppy a few weeks ago and she was adorable and didn't chew up our stuff which was great. There was one time I was ignoring her because I was getting some work done and she opened her mouth super wide and put it on my thigh and then just looked at me. She was super adorable about trying to get attention.

Text:
A: Your dog relentlessly guilt-trips you while chewing up all of your belongings?
B: Yeah, he's a bitter biter.

Bitter Water

Bitter water is pretty disgusting and it would be nice if it just identified itself like this but actually that'd be super creepy and I would have a much more drastic reaction that these chill stick figures.

Text:
B: Don't drink that water - it's bitter.
water: I'll never forgive.

Bitter Herbs

I forget which sermon inspired this one, but I found a series of bitter comics on a bulletin from a while ago. Only had a musical page of the bulletin, so I don't know when it's from otherwise I could look on my church's sermon list for the sermon of that day.

Text:
Bitter Herbs
Dandelion: I cannot believe what she did!
Yarrow: I won't forgive him.
Chamomile: You just wait!

Explaining Literature: Herman Melville

Wow, it's a long one. I have read excerpts in literature class, and never tackled the full one. Even the excerpts were long! But the movies were a normal length I believe. Moby Dick is not as terrifying as Monstro (from Pinocchio) - he's the scariest Disney villain in my memory.

Text:
Explain Herman Melville
I: Are you ready for a yarn that'll last you the rest of your life? Cause this is a long one.
B: Hi Ishmael!

Explaining Literature: Charles Dickens

This seems to be the plot of most of his books. Not that I've read a full one, other than the kid's version (lots of full-page pictures). But I've seen the Wishbone version of the major ones, and also some cartoon versions, ...

Text:
Explain Charles Dickens
B: Life can't get worse. But it will!

Explaining Literature: Jane Austin

The first in my literature series - I'll be honest and admit I've never read a novel of hers but I might have watched a movie adaptation. Some of my in-laws like watching the adaptations, but from listening in from another room (where strategy games are played) it seems that they all have the same plot - girl doesn't like boy, girl grows to like boy, and then they get married.

Text:
Explain Jane Austin
G: There's a man. I don't love him. But I do!

Going Colorblind

I can imagine this conversation going down between my husband and I in the future. I mean, most of his brothers are colorblind, so it's a logical conclusion?
Also, a very Happy early Birthday to my grandma!

Text:
L: You have some blonde hairs in your beard.
M: Yeah, I don't think they're blonde...
L: What??? Are you going -
M: Yeah
L: Colorblind?!?
M: ... Nope.

Happy Medium

Well this is really a throw-back - I somehow didn't post this one from back in the day when I pencil-and-ink drew my comics! It is just so much easier using a tablet - no capturing the image via scanner or camera then uploading and cropping and etc. I do like the quality of pencil-and-ink and I do it for cards (except when mass-produced at which point I print them). There just is a certain charm with the pencil coloring. I like it. But not enough to go back.

Possible Ghost Sighting

I think this is an EXCELLENT costume. Also I feel like this comic might need a border, or maybe some fill for the cape and sheet. But it should be a white sheet to complete the look, so then it needs a background color instead and that is just too much work after the fact, since there's text.
I was up in CT a few weeks ago and learned about some PJ show that my nieces like and when I see a superhero I now think "night time is the best time to fight crime!"
The costume could also be a person struggling to fold a fitted sheet - that's a good idea as well. Just trying to help those who are trying to come up with an awesome easy costume.

Text:
A: Are you a ghost?
B: No, I'm just struggling to hang up a sheet.

Bumkin

It's a throw-back to when I first transitioned to digital and was experimenting with not hand-drawing but rather typing and using shapes. I do like the nicely rounded circles and very straight lines, but there's a charm to hand-drawing.

Text:
A: Why is your jack-o'-lantern wearing sweatpants?
B: It's a bumkin!

Cats on the Brain

I realized after drawing that I should have made the guy taller if he's really T'Challa but I didn't think to do a Black Panther comic until deciding on the hairstyle of the female (I liked Shuri's hair in two buns - a great take on the Princess Leia style).

Text:
S: What's on your brain today?
T: Cats.

Straw Ban

To be fair, I get the push for straying away from straws - they aren't necessary for most drinks/people. I've wondered for a long time why we put such different lids on cold vs hot drinks - why not always use the hot-style lid and go without the straw? I get the drinks with a load of whipped cream on top needing those domed lids - you don't want to squish that down.
And yes, I believe the straw that broke the camel's back was a plastic one. Think of the poor camels lugging your plastic straws across the desert so you can sip your dessert.

Text:
A: Camels rejoice as straws are banned.
B: Camel chiropractors are going out of business as the law goes into effect.

Aquaman and Manatees

Haha, manatees are kinda useless. I'm sure someone can think up a scenario where Aquaman needs to control them but I am not that creative currently. My husband has a story about manatees and that's why he thinks they're disgusting and gross.
I looked up the plural of manatee for this comic and both manatee and manatees are proper.

Unresolved Comic-Con

So we went to Baltimore Comic-Con which is always a good time because there are some truly amazing costumes (saw a perfectly Tangled Rapunzel and Eugene, and two kids in those inflatable t-rex costumes, and loads of superheroes) and interesting comics and nerdy stuff and super crafty stuff like wood carvings and such. We got an expansion pack to Pandemic so that game just got harder and it'll be awesome hopefully (we'll play it when we go visit family in VA). I also got a super cute coin purse that I like a lot and I walked by it like three times then went back to buy it.

Text:
L: I determined to get pictures with cool costumes and talk to artists and exchange info and you know what I did?
M: What?
L: Not that. None of those. Again.

Don't Eat Here

I had a great time in CT recently and during that time I realized my littlest brother just keeps getting taller than me and also he has rather quick comebacks.
To answer the question, I would name my restaurant Taters Gonna Tate. Just kidding, but it would be a potato restaurant and "The Kartoffel Restaurant" is already taken - I think The Great Potato might be as well. (Kartoffel is German for potato.)

Glasses Swap

Sometimes sharing is caring, but sometimes things can't be shared. I couldn't figure out how to draw glasses on him - it seems flounders are not made to wear glasses. Hammerheads are not made to wear glasses either. But I did see a Liz Climo cartoon where a hammerhead wore a t-shirt and his eyes were out the arm holes.

Daydreaming

I thought this up when I zoned out for a moment at my day job and then thought of my sis-in-law who's a nurse and works a rotating schedule which means sometimes it's at night. She is not fond of the night shift. I wouldn't be, either.

Tarrying Tares

I thought this up in a sermon a while ago - here we have some wheat talking about their unwanted neighbors. Yep, that's my interpretation of ripe and unripe wheat. I'm not an agricultural person.

Contrails VS Superman

The little-known nemesis of Superman and his visibility (PUN PUN PUN).
I found how to draw the airplane on Pinterest! You can find useful things on there. And also lots of non-useful things.
Also, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to my nephew :) he's adorable.

Chrome Incognito

Do you know about incognito mode? It's how you can open a page that the rest of your browser won't track or know about, so you can like log into a site as two different people at the same time. The more you know...

Happy First Octobear

Happy First Octobear! But it's Monday and this comic posts on Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday? Well, this is a special occasion - the first Octobear of the year!
That's a good reason to wake up when September ends, so you don't get overtaken by the Octobear. Or maybe you should just sleep through it? Not sure which would be better. But the Green Day song takes me back to high school. Most Green Day songs do that.

Appalled or of Apollos

Happy Birthday to my oldest little brother! It's your last year of being a teen.
I believe I thought of this during a sermon on I Corinthians 3 and 4. I don't believe this is what the pastor was hoping I got from it (I did get something related to what he was saying I'm sure, it just didn't make its way into comic form).

Scent Trees

Well, if you have enough of them maybe the smell would keep out intruders? But also would keep out the people who should be there.
This one time I pulled into work and parked nose-to-nose with this little car and it had at least a dozen fully opened Black Ice scent trees (it looked like a compressed forest) hanging from the rear view mirror and I don't want to know what happened in there.
My dad bought a used truck that had a smoker as the former owner and he put in some scent bombs to handle the odor but the only scent he could get was bubble gum so his truck smelled strongly of sugary sweetness for a while but it was better than cigarette smoke.

Bad Idea

So many times this is how it goes down. Thankfully it's not the norm at my work but many times we have to argue for it to not happen. Because devs feel very strongly about their ideas but so do product managers. I'm sure there's some sort of parallel to marriage as well.

Happy day-after-your-birthday to my Grandpa!

Peace Dove

On my way to lunch on Thursday, I had the radio on and the DJ stopped to pray for the shooting north of Baltimore (I was listening to 95.1 Shine FM). When I got to my location, I looked it up and there were three major stories of shootings that day - in Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. It's a crazy world we live in and prayers for peace are needed, as well as people who are open and willing to help out those who are in need.

Romans 12:18 ESV - "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

More verses on peace: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/peace-bible-verses/

Manna Restaurant

We went to the Museum of the Bible down in DC and wow, it's a great museum! So much to see. And the food is good, too! They have a lot of exhibits, including several limited-time ones so look up what's going on before heading out (or just wing it, you do you). We went with my parents and a good time was had by all. There is an amazing array of artifacts, including sling stones from a besieged city and wow, I did not realize they were like the size of baseballs. That's how you kill someone with a sling and a stone. It's not little pebbles flinging around. We spent several hours and didn't get to all of the exhibits (did a quick pass of the last few as it was getting to be dinner time). We got there around 11am I think and left around 4pm (we used the Metro to get in and out of the city so we didn't have to deal with city driving and parking).

The pun is that "manna" means "what is it" :) :) :)

Text:
M: Upstairs is their Manna Restaurant.
L: Oh, what is it?

Commissioned Dinosaurs

I have not gotten a dinosaur fossil (yet) but I had the chance out in Utah because there was this Rock Shop that had so many rocks but also trilobite fossils and old shark teeth and other stuff and at the register I saw SPINOSAURUS TEETH but Mark correctly inquired "what would you do with it?" which is a valid question. Probably just keep it as my prized possession. But really, maybe leave the fossils for the paleontologists. I don't even remember the cost but that's not important. But it was pretty awesome.

Text:
L: Did you know that you can commission dino fossils and keep them in your home?
M: We are so old, our anniversary present to us is an actual dinosaur!

Grand Junction Airport

So we flew out to Utah for my birthday and it was amazing - saw two National Parks (Arches and Canyonlands), one state park (Dead Horse), took several hikes to see dinosaur tracks, and went to some museums (including Moab Giants which has life-sized dinosaurs and wow a full-sized T-Rex is just huge) and it was a totally great time (well, allergies were not cool but everything else was). We flew to Grand Junction and drove to Moab since the Moab airport is super small and hard to line up flights with it so we just drove the two hours. However when leaving we had some time in the airport and wow is it small. I thought Pensacola and Bradley were small. GJ has one spot for arrivals and departures pick-up/drop-off. It has just a bar, cafe, and gift shop (and the workers communicate via walkie-talkie). But we got to see some fighter jets get refueled, so that was cool.

Text:
A: Ma'am, why do you keep walking over to security?
B: It's the only Pokestop in the three-shop airport!

Tootsie Pop Hospital

My friend is having a baby shower soon and I'm debating using this comic for the card. Who knows. I was going to add in several Tootsie varieties but it's hard to draw them distinctly - there's the little ones, the little flavored ones, the thick log ones, and I'm sure others. The little flavored ones remind me of going to my grandma's house because she would have a bowl of candy by her kitchen and there would be the little flavored tootsie rolls in there and I think that's like the only place I've had them.

Text:
Tootsie Roll: "Is this the Tootsie Pop Maternity Ward?"
Tootsie Pop: "Yep, a sucker is born every minute."