Unsolvable Problem

 

I know the Germans say "there is no bad weather - only bad clothing" HOWEVER I would counter that lightning is bad weather to be out and about in. When thunder roars, go indoors. Or maybe the Germans want you to be like Link in Breath of the Wild and wear a rubber suit with a fish-shaped hat to keep you safe from the lightning. I'm.... not gonna do that. I'm gonna stay indoors. 

Explanation: My kid wants to go outdoors. I say it's not safe, referencing the lightning. She points at her rain boots, thinking the issue is the rain. We are not on the same page. 

Text:
L: We cannot go outside - the thunderstorm is shaking the house.
R: *points at rainboots*
L: You are an excellent problem solver, but this problem can't be solved. 

Magic Bagel

 

It's not the magician's fault if you word it so specifically and a pun lines up perfectly. 

Explanation: Seagulls live at the sea (allegedly) so clearly a gull for the bay is a baygull, or rather bagel. 

Text:
A: I love seagulls and want to be one but I don't want to move to the sea so can you make me a gull for the local body of water?
M: the BAY?!?!!! :) :) :)

Advanced Magic

 

Yep, that's the sorcerer's apprentice from Fantasia there (as a person, not a mouse). Where is the iconic hat? Well, that belongs to the sorcerer, and he'll be in the next comic (if I schedule these correctly...). Also, a throwback to a comic from 2012 wow. That's an oldie. Pretty close to when I started drawing these comics. 

Explanation: The king's request (which he thinks he's giving to the chef) is clearly to be given a fresh cup of coffee, but it's worded in a way that could be a request to be turned into a cup of coffee. Thankfully, the magician's apprentice is not skilled enough to transmute a person into an object. That seems complicated. 

Text:
K: Make me a cup of coffee.
A: That is advanced and I'm only the apprentice. 
K: ... you're not the chef.

A Whole Lot Better

 

My pastor preached on this passage a few weeks ago (2/15), and I jotted down this comic during the service. He titled his sermon "Kings' Dominion" and focused on Biblical Reflections to Prime Us for Spiritual Warfare (Our Lord is sovereign over unstable nations, Our confidence is not in rulers but in God, Our love and faith inspire courage for battle). 

Explanation: In Genesis 14, there's a war and Abram's nephew Lot is captured. Abram finds out and rallies his people to get Lot and the plundered people and goods back. He does and, clearly, is a whole Lot better once he has his nephew Lot back. This comic is not quite biblical because it's depicting Abram telling a dad joke, and he is not yet a dad (hence his name is Abram and not Abraham).

Text:
Title: Genesis 14
R: Abram, I heard you went after the guys who took your nephew - how are you doing?
A: I'm a whole Lot better!
L: *facepalming in shame at that dad joke from his uncle*

Dessert Island

 

I learned the difference in those words by remembering "nobody wants extra desert but they do want extra dessert, so that's why one has more letter S's in it." Yes, this comic is a play on how desert (the dry wasteland) and dessert (sweets after a meal) are spelled very similarly. I would look up why that is, but I want to play a new co-op computer game (Overcooked) so I'll delay that research for another time (if ever). 

Extra: is this a deleted scene from the 1998 tv show Young Hercules? Maybe? That show was on my mind when I went down a rabbit trail about shepherd's pie for St. Pat's day (there's an episode I recall from my childhood about the guys running the inn for a day and they only know how to make one thing so that's what they recommend to everyone and I erroneously thought it was shepherd's pie but it's actually chicken salad). 

Text:
A: How did you end up on a dessert island?
B: The king wanted me exiled, and his magician made a spelling error.

Wrong Gas

 

Trying to explain to my kid that we have different names for how the gas exits our body... Never thought I'd have that conversation. The joy of being a parent - so many unexpected conversations. 

Text:
R: *toot*
O: You burped in your pants!
R: *confused* ?

Parking Spot Proximity

 

I realize I look like an able-bodied person, but two young kids count as an allowance for close parking spots. I believe that if you have a baby car seat in your car, you should be eligible for handicap parking (but obviously that's not the law). Because you need the extra space to get that carrier in and out of your car! But I understand that a change like that would shift the balance of how many handicap spaces are needed for a place. So maybe just push for more places to be like IKEA parking and have a "parent and baby" parking section with wider spaces for families. 

Text:
A: Have you considered leaving the closer parking space for those who really need it?
L: Have you considered that I really need it?

*redrawn with two young kids clinging to me*

Jurassic Names Part 2

Thankfully I did not need to re-draw my banner since I had it for the earlier comic. Also, I realized after making this that the DNA was extracted from a mosquito not gnat in the amber. Whoops.

Explanation: Terry, Rory, Amber, and Nat are all normal names. Pterry, Roary, and Gnat are not normal names. Amber fits in both categorize in this context.

*did you see this posted last week? No you didn't, because I surely would not forget to schedule and just straight-up post a comic. Surely, I would not do such a thing and I'm gonna make my blog agree with me.

Text:
Banner: WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH
A: There are my kids - Pterry and Roary.
B: Wonderful! My kids are Amber and Gnat. 

Jurassic Names Part 1

 

Well, that's one opinion. Also, I took far too long trying to make that banner look like the one in the first Jurassic Park movie that falls down as the T-Rex roars in the atrium. 

Explanation: Terry and Rory are fairly normal names. Pterry sounds like the name of a pterodactyl and Roary sounds like a loud child.

Text:
Banner: WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH
A: Why so sad?
B: He said I'm not a real dino fan since I didn't name my kids Pterry and Roary.
A: ... How pterrible. 

Puffy Coat

 

I got a puffer trench coat from Costco a few years ago and it has sufficient pockets. Trying to find a particular thing can be difficult, and removing just the desired thing can be tricky, but I love this coat. It's so warm and can hold all my things. 

Explanation: In Doctor Who, his "Time And Relative Dimension In Space" ship looks like a Police Call Box (basically an opaque phone booth) and is "bigger on the inside" as there's a whole multi-room, multi-level space ship in there. There also is one Doctor who likes bow-ties and thinks they are cool.

Text:
D: Wow, your coat pockets are stuffed full!
L: All the winter essentials - hat, gloves, chapstick, DD gift card, tissues, pen, change purse, and such.
D: ... is it a TARDIS?
L: And glowsticks, clean Pull-Up and wipes, cough drops, ...

Gym Humor: Knee Edition

 

So glad this is not a True Story, but I did think of it at the gym and I do wear a wrap on my left knee when exercising (specifically when on the treadmill). 

Explanation: the opposite of right can be either left (direction) or wrong (correction). But that does not mean left equals wrong.

Text:
Title: At the Gym
PT: You're wearing that brace on your wrong knee.
L: ... what???
PT: Because it's not on your right knee!!!

Home Project: Toddler Helper

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my Dad! He taught me many home repair skills, and has repaired and improved so much of my house.

You know what they say: teamwork makes the dream work, except when your teammate is a literal two-year-old. But you let them help now (when they really aren't helpful but have the desire to help), with the hopes that they will keep helping later (when they have the skills but often not the desire to help).

Text:
Title: Home Projects
O: Want to help you!
M: I know you do, but this is something you currently don't have the skills to do. *SNAP* And apparently, neither do I.

Change that Heart

 

True story - Ori has done this. We did not respond quite like this (more like saying the sun is not up so our son should not be up). 

Explanation: we change into day clothes when the sun is above the horizon, definitely not when it's closer to midnight than noon. 

Text:
A: What do you do when your toddler comes in your room at 3am demanding to change out of his pjs?
L: Tell him the only change happening at this hour is a change of heart.
M: Regeneration!

Winter Olympics Amp Up

 

I'm writing this while watching the Olympics Figure Skating Exhibition Gala so my attention is a bit split. The Italian pair started with the macarena and ended with cotton-eyed Joe. You just never know what the next act will be. Apparently it's Greatest Showman, which is fitting for this event. 

Explanation: The halfpipe is a slope built up on the sides to resemble the bottom half of a circular pipe. A whole-pipe would, in my mind, be like a Hot Wheels loop-de-loop track. 

Text:
A: How can we make the Winter Olympics more exciting? Snowboarding ideas?
B: Halfpipe is OUT! Wholepipe is IN!
A: Like a Hot Wheels track!!!

Chocolate Coins

My kids received chocolate coins for Christmas and they have actual currency emblems on them. Some confusion happened. But the coins are tasty.

Explanation: The emblem of a country can be called a seal. Some emblems have birds on them, like eagles. A seal is also an aquatic mammal. So a seal can be a bird but the other seal can not be a bird.

Apologies for any typos - I'm watching the Olympics Figure Skating Exhibition Gala while writing this up and it's such a delight to watch professionals just have fun and be amazing. I highly recommend looking up past Winter Olympic Galas on YouTube. 

Text:
R: What is the bird on this chocolate coin?
M: It's an eagle because that's the seal.
L: Well, is it an eagle or a seal? Those are different animals. 
M: *unimpressed*
R: *confused*

Grayson Truth

 

Happy belated Birthday to my niece!
My kiddo has a gray dinosaur named Grayson. Answers in Genesis has some great Bible verse songs. Misunderstandings can happen. 

Explanation: As I point out in the comic, "Grayson" and "grace and" sound rather similar. 

Text:
Title: John 1:14
Song: We have seen His glory - full of grace and truth
R: That's my dinosaur's name!
L: Grace. And. Truth. Not Grayson truth. 

Bear Trees

 

Or should it be:

But perhaps:

I could not decide which version I liked best so here are three of them. When drawing these, I was reminded of an old commercial for Discover Card where there's a guy with loads of frogs in his house asking about frog protection and the agent over the phone is like, yeah we have fraud protection.

Explanation: "Bare" means empty, like a tree in winter. "Bear" is an animal. Both words sound the same, hence the confusion in this set of comics.

Text:

Patron: I commissioned a landscape painting of bare trees - what is this?!?
Artist: These are bear trees - see them peeking through the leaves?
OR
Artist: There is at least one bear in every tree - what more could you want?!
OR 
Artist: "Bear Trees" features several varieties - this tree has a koala while this one has a grizzly. 

Recipe Substitution

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my niece! 
Oh my child, this is a lesson we all need to learn. There are some subs that work, and many more that don't. But I do like that you were trying to come up with a solution. If you want the recipe we use, it's on Tasty.co. Just three ingredients, so you really need each ingredient. For humor, I recently saw a post where a lady talked about how people had changed her recipe then complained that the recipe didn't work and her response was, you didn't make my recipe. 

Text:
R: Can we make brigadeiros?
L: No, we need sweetened condensed milk for that. 
R: Can we use eggs instead? Or just sugar?
L: Please never comment on recipe blogs.

Singular Spaghetti

 

So at the Olympics Opening Ceremony, they mentioned paparazzi which is the plural form of Paparazzo who was a persistent news photographer in an Italian movie in the mid-1900's. And the commentators mentioned that spaghetti is plural but you never eat just one spaghetto, and the same for other pastas that end in "i" - it's the plural form of that noodle. The more you know...

Haha, I just had a thought that a couple could try to Lady & The Tramp this spaghetto but just keep inhaling noodle only to realize it's a full serving size noodle. 

Text:
A: I heard you made pasta this weekend - did you make spaghetti?
B: No, it's one long noodle - it's spaghetto. *holding plate with one massively long thin noodle on it*

Abacus Ticketer

 

I would like someone to try this and see how it turns out. Let me know. Could be fun. Most likely will be awkward. 

Explanation: An abacus is an ancient mathematical counting device using beads on a grid. Many workplaces have a ticketing system where problems are described on tickets and workers can take a ticket to solve that problem. 

Text:
B: Ticket 103 needs to be completed by Friday - can I count on you to do it?
N: Just call me abacus.
B: I'm... not gonna do that, but I will assign the ticket to you.

Cinderella vs Encanto

 

I didn't realize that the name has been used in two different movies until my kids pointed it out. Now I'm trying to think of other names that have been reused but I'm coming up blank. There are so many movies, surely they aren't all unique. But they have a lot of specific names like Cinderella and Snow White and such. Well, Prince Charming is used a few times I believe. But is it really, or do I just not remember the guy's name because the princess is the main character of the story? 

Explanation: Bruno is the name of the hound dog in Cinderella (1950). Bruno is also one of the uncles in Encanto (2021). 

Text:
Title: In our Cinderella Era
Music: We don't talk about Bruno - No no No ...
R: The DOG?!
O: *shocked*
L: Disney reused a name? I guess it has been 70 years.

Trinity Question

 

So we listen to the catechisms sung on "Ask Me Whoooo" which is an excellent set of albums available on Spotify, YoutTubeMusic, and other places surely, including in disc form. My youngest only knows the first few, and is hindering himself in learning more. 

Text:
Music: In how many persons does this one God exist? In three Persons.
O: I don't know this one (spoken over the answer portion)
L: Buddy.

Tastes of Coffee

 

We don't drink coffee in my house - we have several types of instant coffee for visitors but we don't own a coffee maker. How my child thinks she knows what coffee tastes like is a mystery to me. She has smelled it before, when out and about, but not often. I usually make herbal or Earl Grey for her, but one morning I had made chai for myself and brewed a second cup for her when she asked, and I think the spices surprised her. We are drinking out of our coordinated strawberry mugs that my sister-in-law gave to us. It's fun to have matching or coordinated mugs. Often, it's actually better to not totally match because that makes it easy to swap mugs and if you make different teas, that's an unpleasant surprise. 

Text:
R: What kind of tea is this?
L: Chai.
R: It tastes like coffee.
L: ... How do you know how coffee tastes?!?
R: *unhinged laugh*

Girl Grey Tea

 

I have been introducing my preschooler to tea, usually a weakened form of whatever I'm drinking. Earl Grey is my favorite basic tea but Lady Earl Grey is preferred when I can find it. I also have been buying custom blends from Plum Deluxe and they have many Earl Grey varieties which I have enjoyed (especially Gratitude Blend or Picard Black). 

Text:
R: What kind of tea is this?
L: Earl Grey.
R: That's almost a girl tea because "earl" sounds like "girl."
L: Let me tell you about Lady Earl Grey. 

Learning to Count

 

Happy belated Birthday to my dad-in-law! Also Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law and nephew. Quite the festive weekend.
So my toddler doesn't quite have his numbers straight. Is it considered stealing candy from babies when you give them a choice and they choose the lesser? I could choose to make this an educational lesson, or I could choose to eat the extra chocolate chip. It's a hard choice. 

Text:
L: Do you want 2 chocolate chips or 3?
O: TWO!
L: Ok.

Tumble Those Leaves

 

There is an excellent show on Amazon Prime called Tumble Leaf. It's whimsical and gets kids to think things through, often in an amusing way. And I like the claymation style that they use - it's very non-stimulating. 

Explanation: In the show "Tumble Leaf," the main character (Fig, the blue fox) often says (when puzzling over an issue then finding a solution), "Turkey shout! I figured it out!" 

Second Explanation: I think I'm holding a cup of juice in this comic, but honestly I don't know why I drew it like that. And that reminds me that I was going to drink some 100% grape juice this evening because everyone is getting sick in this coldness.

Text:
Title: Parenthood
M: Can you Figure it out?
L: Turkey shout! I can't.

Counting Order

 

Happy Birthday to my brother! He has his degree in accounting, so maybe he can help my preschooler get her numbers straight. Ha, the other day my kids were playing dress-up and they were a prince and princess and for whatever reason, Robin was getting Ori to count to ten and he had his numbers all over the place so she very sweetly said "my prince, you are not very good at counting; you need to go to school" and he agreed. 

Text:
R: eleven, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, fifteen, nineteen, twenty!
L: That's not in the right order.
R: But it's my order?

Lane Departure

 

Sometimes it's very hard to keep the snide comments inside. I know that some safety features are overreaching and it's hard to adapt to all the lights and warnings that new cars have, but some just make sense. Stay in your lane (bro) or change over with your blinker on. 

Text:
A: I HATE how my car complains about "lane departure" when I switch lanes, like I KNOW! That's the point here!!!
B: ... Have you tried using your blinker?

Pants vs Capris

 

A fellow parent at the school my preschooler attends made this comment and I just had to comic it. I am quoting Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor from Netflix's "A Series of Unfortunate Events." That character likes to declare things "OUT" and "IN" in a fashion sense, for example she declares elevators "OUT" and stairs "IN" so everyone has to take the stairs rather than use the fully functioning elevator. She has exceedingly vibrant outfits and is quite the character. Also, she's evil. There's that, too. 

Explanation: If your pants are too short, you can try calling them capris and hope for the best. 

Text:
A: My kids grew SO MUCH over Christmas break that their school uniform pants are too short!
L: School pants are OUT! School capris are IN!

Just Trying

 

I mean, he's a very literal child. I've been singing "it's time to go to sleep" (to the tune "Arise, My Soul, Arise") as a lullaby to him and he'll open one eye and say "I AM going to sleep" like yep, buddy, that's what we're doing here but clearly you're not asleep yet however per the lyrics (just that one line, over and over) it simply is time to go to sleep, and he is trying to go to sleep, so he needs to announce it. 

Explanation: None needed if you've dealt with a toddler potty training. 

Text:
L: Do you need to poop?
O: No, just trying. *GRUNT*
L: LET'S do that on the toilet. 

Sushi Yoshi

 

My preschooler likes sushi (California roll or other cooked ones) but my toddler hates rice so... we usually bring a pbj for him. And she pronounces sushi as "shushi."

Explanation: Sushi sounds similar to Yoshi, and Yoshi races with Mario, and Mario is red like Spider-Man? Maybe. Seems like it could be my toddler's logic. 

Text:
L: Your dad is picking up dinner on his way home. Did you hear what we're having?
R: Shushi shushi shushi!
O: Yoshi Yoshi Mario Mario Spider-Man!

Elephant vs Ape

 

That is my daughter using logic taught to her by VeggieTales Silly Songs with Larry - specifically the Monkey with Larry song. It's a funny song with a deeper meaning about false dichotomies. Let's dive in!

It postulates: 
monkeys have tails (correct)
apes do not have tails (correct) THEREFORE
things with tails are monkeys (mostly false other than one case [monkeys])
things without tails are apes (again mostly false other than one case [apes])
things without tails are not monkeys (true other than Curious George)
things with tails are not apes (true)

Logic is fascinating and you can get to a right answer with wrong logic.

Text:
R: African elephants are not apes because they have tails.
L: I mean... yes...

Protein vs Antitein

 

Peanut and steak vs broccoli and carrot, who will win??? Well, it's a protest so there's no winners? Maybe they'll have a nice discussion and come to realize that diets should be balanced. 

Yes, this is a continuation of the comic from Sunday. Also yes, I drew these like VeggieTales without arms because arms are hard. But also no faces because I don't like anthropomorphizing food. 

Explanation: Some foods (like peanuts and steak) have protein in them. Others (like vegetables) don't have protein. The word "protein" starts with "pro", so therefore I invented an "anti" to go against it.

DISCLAIMER: This comic was written before the new food pyramid and all that happened. I'm not weighing in on that - I'm just making a pro- vs anti-tein joke. 

Text:
Peanut and Steak holding a PRO TEIN! sign.
Broccoli and Carrot holding an ANTI TEIN! sign. 

Survey Says

 

These are the questions to which we need answers. 

Explanation: Antediluvian means before the Flood (i.e. Enoch is such an antediluvian name). Anti and Pro are usually opposites. Ante and Anti are easy to confuse. I have decided that if you like meat then you are pro-tein (haha, it's protein) and if you're anti-tein you just like fruits and vegetables (like a toddler avoiding beans and meat). 

Text:
S: Are you antediluvian or prodiluvian?
C: What?
S: Are you pro-tein or anti-tein?
C: ?

Home vs Home

Tis a mystery why my kids are like this...

Explanation: The first image is me with my kids. The second image is my mom with me and my brother.

Behind The Scenes: Originally, the second comic didn't line up completely with the first but I changed the layout so my brother is to right of me just like my son is to the right of my daughter. Also I made our arms similar and our feet are in the same places over the link at the bottom. My original plan was just to have the "mom" blurb copied but I like how similar I was able to get them.

Text:
Title: Me at Home
L: Why do you guys say my name so much?!?
R&O: MOM mom Mom mom Mommy Mom
Title: Me over the Holidays
L1: Guys...
L2& L3: MOM mom Mom mom Mommy Mom

Raw Egg

 

Happy Birthday Eve to my brother-in-law! I have a complicated comic combining his birthdate and my graduation date to make my birthdate, but I don't think it'll make sense without giving away a little too much personal info. I'll save it for his birthday card. It'll be a limited edition (meaning only one made, unless I make it his default birthday comic and put it on his card every year). 

The first hurdle is understanding what your kid is saying. The next hurdle is extrapolating what they're meaning from what they're saying. It's a multi-layered process. Actually the first step is getting your kid to verbally say what they want rather than just crying. Then the understanding followed by the extrapolating. 

Text:
L: We're having noodles with fried eggs for dinner.
R: I don't like when you cook the eggs. Can I have mine uncooked? I like them that way.
L: *translating* ... You want a hardboiled egg? 
R: Yes please.

Peppermint Deterrent

 

Apparently you can use peppermint as a pest deterrent in your attic and pantry and such. Or maybe you can use it to discover the truth about people? Results may vary.

Also, this logic is reminding me of the Monkey Silly Song from Veggie Tales.

Text:
L: Both mice and spiders don't like peppermint.
M: Good to know.
L: ... You don't like peppermint.
M: ... Oh no, you found me out?

Nineties Fashion Explanation

 

Happy New Year! May the new year not bring back super baggy clothing. Loose is nice - hanging off is not. 

Explanation: In the nineties, computers were huge and fashion was super baggy. I have decided these facts are related.

Text:
Title: 90's Fashion Designers
A: I just met a time-traveler who said that in twenty years, we will have computers that fit in our pockets!
B: We need to design pants that can fit a computer in them!!!
C: In! Each! Pocket!